Playing Dogs

[cjam]

My DD3 and DD5 play dogs all the time - camping dogs, tumbling dogs, doctor dogs, doggie fashion show, doggie daycare etc etc etc. Today it was musketeer dogs, whatever that means?! It's basically just imagination play with a few random barks thrown in so that they can call it dogs. They play this with all their friends, all the time. DD5 tells me that the neighbour girl isn't allowed to play dogs. And sure enough, as I'm walking into their backyard to collect the kids, I overhear the father sternly reminding his daughter that she is not allowed to pretend she's a dog. He goes on to say that she's can only be herself. This happened a few weeks ago and I've been mulling it over in my head since then trying to figure out why he's opposed to playing dogs. I find their play to be imaginative, creative, active. Sure, the barking can get annoying at times, but then I tell them that have to play dogs far way from me! Any ideas why a parent would oppose this type of play? Am I missing some parenting advice that says it's bad to pretend to be an animal? I don't have a close enough relationship to the family to ask them without feeling awkward. Since MDC has collectively read just about every parenting book, I'd thought I'd poll you guys.

Cheers! (bark, bark, yip, yip)

[ErinYay]

The only possible reason I can think of is that your neighbor is a UAV.

Plain and simple.

It's, well, MEAN to not allow creative, imaginative play, and harmful to a kid's general spirit and ability to think outside the box, which may well stay with her for life.

Heck, I play puppies with my baby. She loves it, though is mostly just curious why Momma is crawling around, barking, and biting her feet.

[crowcaw]

My girls do the same with kitties -- whatever they're doing, it's kitties doing it a lot of the time. They usually seem to be able to coerce a group into being kitties too. I know at preschool for some reason the teacher insists that all kitties have owners so some of the children are the owners and some are kitties and I think this is to keep it from getting out of hand (kitties do sometimes have wild behavior) as it's the owners' jobs to make sure the kitties behave themselves. But no prohibition on being animals. I've never read anything to suggest it needs to be discouraged.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

I would not discourage animal play (in fact I often encourage it), but perhaps your neighbor finds it degrading. Or maybe neighbor kid peed on the floor while pretending to be a dog, or younger sibling is scared of dogs and is scared of dog play. I dunno I don't know your neighbor.

[mom2happy]

My grandmother was appalled when my sister and I played animals once at her house. She gasped and coulnt believe we were on the floor on all fours.
I guess she thought it was terrible.
My mother always let us, just never again at Grandma's because it wasnt worth it since she was so great otherwise.
My kids are tigers, dogs, wolves, what ever. If they are playing together nicely I love it. If it gets too loud I send them downstairs or outside.

[AllisonR]

I agree it seems a bit over the top, if not mean, to not allow it. However, as a PP mentioned, there could be all sorts of oddball circumstances why the dad in question doesn't like it. Since you say you don't know them well enough, I'd be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I also a have a 5yo and 3yo and they went through a serious doggy stage, they still play it a lot. I let them be, because I believe creative play is so healthy. However, when they want me to be the mommy dog and then start licking me, it bugs me and I tell them to take their dog play elsewhere. (said by the same momma who will lick their children's dirty faces if there is not a clean napkin or paper towel nearby. )

[happysmileylady]

My niece likes to pretend she's a cat all the time. Like ALL THE TIME. And she is constantly "meowing" for attention. She wants all the adults to pet her and she wants to lick all over her hands and everyone else too. It's honestly just really annoying. She can't just pretend she is a cat, she has to insist that everyone else be engaged with her as a cat. Perhaps something like that is going on.

[eepster]

My guess would be that the child uses playing dog as an excuse to behave inappropriately in some way. I have occasionally told DS that he needs to stop playing cat, b/c he was trying to crawl through busy parking lots on all four, instead of walking carefully while holding a grownups hand.

[confustication]

Originally Posted by ErinYay

The only possible reason I can think of is that your neighbor is a UAV.

Plain and simple.

It's, well, MEAN to not allow creative, imaginative play, and harmful to a kid's general spirit and ability to think outside the box, which may well stay with her for life.

I think you are jumping to conclusions here without knowing the reason... behind his decision. You would probably assume I was being mean when I told my oldest that she couldn't pretend to be XYZ and had to be herself as well. Interestingly enough, at about age 5 I had to start stepping in and bringing her out of her pretend scenarios on a regular basis, and I am sure I have said nearly those exact same words to her. I still do at times.

Sure, there is a time for pretend and imaginative play and I am all for that, but some children aren't able to establish boundaries around that and their parents have to step in to do so. You call it being mean, I call it being a responsible parent who knows what is best for *my* child.

OP- I'd just ask the dad- at least then you can be on the same page he is instead of wondering for weeks. If your kids play together, there should be some communication back and forth.

[cjam]

Thanks everyone. It's interesting to hear other people's take on the situation. At my house, I do draw the line at licking and eating by sticking their heads in the bowl. Oh yeah, and barking in the same room as me. :-)

[mom2happy]

Originally Posted by cjam

Thanks everyone. It's interesting to hear other people's take on the situation. At my house, I do draw the line at licking and eating by sticking their heads in the bowl. Oh yeah, and barking in the same room as me. :-)

Ive let mine eat out of bowls on the floor when they are being dogs as long as no one is here.
They really wanted to and they know it was just for fun. I had no worries of them growing up and doing it in on a date.
Hey,you're are only a kid once! And why say no to everything?
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I had a year where my dd went through this... and it was seriously annoying. I think if it hadn't stopped at some point, I would have forbidden it too. At least in my company.

I have HUGE issues with licking. (and all mouth noises actually.. but, that's a whole nuther post) Anyway, for a while the kids were licking each other, and trying to lick me. Even my dogs know not to lick me.

So, I was happy to see that stage end.

I think some people have far less tolerance for some things, and I think as long as it's not a constant intolerance, it's ok to let the parent say "no playing dogs". It's not bad for a child to respect one or two wacky ideas from parents.