Hi ladies
I had a cesarean in September 2008. I was induced for postdates at 41 weeks (mistake #1!). My ob/gyn missed the obvious signs that my baby was OP--I had a long, slow labor with excruciating back pain. I ended up getting an epidural at 4cm (mistake #2!). I dilated all the way and pushed for maybe 2 hours and ended up with a c/s because my daughter was stuck and started passing meconium. She was 7 lbs 10 oz and had 8 and 9 Apgars. My section itself was a horrible experience. I really feel like it affected my ability to bond with my baby and caused me to have PPD/PTSD.
My OB told me later that my pelvis was too small and the only way I could ever have a vaginal delivery was if I had a preemie. It made me feel like I am defective. But I think her malposition, my pushing position and the epidural had a lot to do with why I couldn't push her out. I never had an urge to push and I couldn't feel myself pushing at all. I remember when I was pushing in a squatting position, the nurse said she could feel the baby's head moving down and that she was at a +1. Then my OB came in, had me get on my back and said she couldn't feel the head moving at all and that she was only at 0 station and that I needed a cesarean. It seemed to come out of nowhere and was very surreal. At the time, I thought that the nurse was wrong but now I wonder if the change in position might have narrowed my pelvis enough to make her seem stuck.
Anyway, I am about 4 weeks along with number 2 and I really want to have a VBAC. I have learned a lot about what might have gone wrong last time and I'm looking around for a supportive midwife or doctor. I'm strongly considering having a home birth. I'm really trying to get past the feeling that my body isn't made right to have a vaginal birth--I'm terrified that I will push and push and just end up with another stuck baby. I know that studies show that even with a prior CPD diagnosis, the majority of women can still have a VBAC, but it's hard to get the OB's words out of my head.
I had a cesarean in September 2008. I was induced for postdates at 41 weeks (mistake #1!). My ob/gyn missed the obvious signs that my baby was OP--I had a long, slow labor with excruciating back pain. I ended up getting an epidural at 4cm (mistake #2!). I dilated all the way and pushed for maybe 2 hours and ended up with a c/s because my daughter was stuck and started passing meconium. She was 7 lbs 10 oz and had 8 and 9 Apgars. My section itself was a horrible experience. I really feel like it affected my ability to bond with my baby and caused me to have PPD/PTSD.
My OB told me later that my pelvis was too small and the only way I could ever have a vaginal delivery was if I had a preemie. It made me feel like I am defective. But I think her malposition, my pushing position and the epidural had a lot to do with why I couldn't push her out. I never had an urge to push and I couldn't feel myself pushing at all. I remember when I was pushing in a squatting position, the nurse said she could feel the baby's head moving down and that she was at a +1. Then my OB came in, had me get on my back and said she couldn't feel the head moving at all and that she was only at 0 station and that I needed a cesarean. It seemed to come out of nowhere and was very surreal. At the time, I thought that the nurse was wrong but now I wonder if the change in position might have narrowed my pelvis enough to make her seem stuck.
Anyway, I am about 4 weeks along with number 2 and I really want to have a VBAC. I have learned a lot about what might have gone wrong last time and I'm looking around for a supportive midwife or doctor. I'm strongly considering having a home birth. I'm really trying to get past the feeling that my body isn't made right to have a vaginal birth--I'm terrified that I will push and push and just end up with another stuck baby. I know that studies show that even with a prior CPD diagnosis, the majority of women can still have a VBAC, but it's hard to get the OB's words out of my head.
)
Stick around, your time will come!
