can i do this? homeschool and be a ft student

[meemee]

perhaps i am jumping the gun here....

but will i have time to hs my dd when i am going to grad school AND working as a TA or another job?

will i be able to afford a babysitter?

i wont be going to grad school for another 2 or 3 years.

right now i finally found a charter school thru which i can homeschool my dd - IF her dad agrees to it. i am building ammunition to convince him.

but before i do it - do you think i will be able to do it as a single mom myself. i plan to do my ph d so i see myself being in school for another 10 years.

of course if it was just dd and me i know somehow i can pull it off.

however ex is involved. so its going to throw a monkey wrench in our plans.

dd will be going to 3rd grade when really she should be going to 4th. she just finished a split 2/3rd grade class where she did mostly 3rd grade work. she hates school and has always hated it, so if this works out OMG she is going to be sooooooo happy. dd really WANTS to do it and understands what is expected out of her.

do you think mamas i can pull this off - if ex complies - being poor and a ft student?

what practical things do i need to think of?

please help me brainstorm this mamas.

[simplemama32]

From what I can tell of you and your dd in reading your posts...and of course depending a lot on practical things like finances...I think this has the potential to be a very exciting idea for both of you.

Now, my own experience (4-yr. undergrad degree, then a pretty intense six month stint in veterinary school before I dropped out over a decade ago) has been that grad school is time-consuming and exhausting. I can't imagine doing that on my own with a young child...but your dd is older and seems very mature for her age.

I could see it being a positive, educational experience for your dd, just being surrounded by your fellow grad students and professors, and in that atmosphere of learning. I would worry, though, that you might burn out...studying so much yourself, and then having to teach your dd and organize her studies as well as your own? On the other hand, I would imagine she could do a lot of assignments on her own, with occasional guidance from you.

Depending on what university you go to, etc, would she be okay studying on her own in the campus library for short time periods while you are in class or being a TA? Or she may even be able to sit in on some of the classes you teach, if you're confident she would be quiet and not intrude. I work at a university, and while a situation might not exactly be common, I wouldn't really be surprised if it happened occasionally, yk?

So, practical aspects... How are your finances? Do you have savings, and/or how much would you be able to save in the next few years? I would be very hesitant to put myself deeply in debt over school...but I digress since that's not your question, and I don't really know your situation!

What problems do you think ex would cause? Being generally unsupportive? Can't remember your visitation schedule, but would your dd be able to continue her studies while with ex?

[RollerCoasterMama]

I'm on a similar path myself---hoping to be in grad school full time in 2-3 yrs. DS will be in kindergarten or 1st grade by then. MAYBE 2nd. The thought of home-schooling crossed my mind. Theoretically, it seems possible. But what would she do during the day? It's a full time gig being a student. Some semesters there aren't many classroom hours, but there's still time committments. It *can* be more flexible if you don't mind working at odd hours. Do you think you could find child care for her where she wouldn't be the only older child with lots of little ones? That would be my biggest concern. You should have enough time to work on the classwork in the evenings and weekends. Money---not sure how that would factor in except possibly paying for childcare when you would normally not need it because she'd be in school.

Good luck! I'm really looking forward to being a full-time student again during the time when my son would start school. Having that time flexibility to be with him when he needs me rather than my 8-5 rush that we do now...we'll be broke, but we'll have more time together than we do now! And if I don't do a summer class, I can have the summers with him. I am just at the beginning of my journey though...I've got another couple of years of pre-reqs to do while I'm working...THEN pray I get into a PhD program!

[meemee]

if ex does not say yes i cant hs her. i mean because we dont have anything in writing i CAN do it - but it wouldnt harbor well for all of us. so if ex says no then it will be a no.

me going to school ALREADY IS a positive experience for dd. she has been going to school with me and sitting in on my 2 hour classes. the ones that the teachers allow. she has even participated in the class (anthro proffs are great and so are the students who wanted her to participate) and brought up interesting points. so yes she can very well stay in the class even if she finds the subject matter boring. plus we have a social/study area where my friends have watched dd when i went for class. she actually chose to be with my friends in school rather than at the babysitter with other kids that i had arranged.

so yeah she would be quiet. if that is what was demanded of her. and yes she can do a lot of her work independently. she would only need guidance once in a while.

for the next two semesters i know i can pull it off. its when i transfer to the univ in the next town next year (where we will be moving) that i dont know how things are going to be. i dont think she will be allowed to be in the library by herself. but perhaps some of my friends who are there and might be in teh library might hang out with her.

the point is i have discovered in my life as a single mom that things somehow work out. something always comes thru for me. so i will have to trust that and hope something comes thru when it is time.

oh where money is concerned - lets not even GO there. no way. i am dirt poor and i cant see any chance of having any savings in the future.

EXACTLY rollercoastermama its been wonderful going back to school when dd was in first grade. just me going to school, her visiting my classes, etc has had a HUGE positive impact on her. a huge burden has been lifted off of us now that we can spend more time together - or if not together dd is with people she is enjoying and choosing to be with instead of with me.

hs IS important to me that i will make it my priority. who knows. if i deal with all the hardships now and give dd a quality life - who know how she would give back to the world?!! just going with me to my school and classes and my volunteer work she already has a unique take on things that she gets from doing rather than only book knowledge.

[provocativa]

another thing to consider is that hsing can be very little work. we got rid of the tv, and so really everything is educational. they are bored for a little while. . . .and then they read, or play math games.