Visitation EOW question and small vent.

[hillymum]

My sbxh has had our boys for the last two weekends and I want them this weekend. They do not like staying at sbx's moms as the house is filthy and cluttered and they are sleeping on inflatable beds. They have also told me that their cousin is alowed to smoke in the house near to them which none of us like. My small vent is that in response to me saying the boys will be with me this weekend and that I want sbx to stop calling and texting my cell phone (which he pays for as we only seperated on july 3rd) he reported my phone as stolen earlier this evening. Nice one! I might add that I am not going to do the same to him!


My question is..... for what reasons would a judge agree to sbx having the children for more than EOW especially as he has been working out of state for 4 days a week for the last three years? Dh has been pulling stunts for the last two weeks. He closed the joint account, hasn't given me any money to feed the boys (or myself), was verbally and physically violent to me in front of the boys, tried to take the boys away and has now had my cell phone switched off. I can't imagine that a judge is going to look at him favorably but then again I have heard of judges doing some crazy things.

[over_the_rainbow]

Hi Hillymum

We really are in similar boats! My husband was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. Gave us no financial support. Had no real part in raising our son til now. But for whatever reason the judge liked his story better than mine and STBX got EVERY weekend with a ten month old.

My advice would be document document document. Printout every email save every text. Hospital records, photos, even evidence that he had your phone maliciously turned off. I went into court thinking I had right and truth on my side but I underestimated what a manipulative slimeball my STBX is... he lied to get his way and it worked.

Good luck sweety.

[singin'intherain]

Isn't it weird how a lot of guys seem to think that every time they spend a dollar on something a woman uses, it means they own a dollar's worth of that woman's life?

My ex thinks exactly the same way- it's like his priority is making sure that he gets a good "deal" for his money or something.

But, I do hear your ex having some genuine regret for all the fighting. I hope this settles down and translates into some decent behavior.

[over_the_rainbow]

Oh Hillymum - those emails could have been written by my STBX. I call it good cop/bad cop - one minute he is telling me how much he hates me and the next he wants us to get along. I love the "why can't we be civil thing." I must have about 40 texts on my phone asking why we can not be civil and they usually followed by something nasty.

And I know what you mean about the no sleep. Its all I think about and at night alone in the dark its hard to switch off.

s mama. Stay strong

[hillymum]

Originally Posted by singin'intherain

But, I do hear your ex having some genuine regret for all the fighting. I hope this settles down and translates into some decent behavior.

believe me there is no regret on his part! He called AT&T on Tuesday and reported my cell phone stolen! He still thinks it's not working. He's been doing some really shitty things since this happened then says he is just reacting to something i have done or said.

OTR, I'm now doing extreem co-sleeping which is another reason for poor sleep. All three boys (11, 9 and 6yrs old) are sleeping in my room/bed! It's getting crazy but I really don't think it a good idea to be firm and send them to their own beds.

Positive note.....I've lost just over 11lb since July 3rd!!