ridiculous things children say in public restrooms

[newbiemama09]

in the McDonald’s bathroom the other day I overheard a 2 or 3 year old ask her mommy “why her panties looked like that?” and I thought, what better way to brighten the day by sharing stories of all the hilariously embarrassing and over-sharing children do and say in public restrooms.

So, share! Share!

[butterfly_mommy]

My 2 year old DS asked me in a very busy Ikea bathroom.

"Mama where your Diva cup go?"
"Your Diva cup go in your vulva mama?"
"Your Diva cup have menstrual blood mama?"

The whole time me whispering "yes, shhhh" and trying not to laugh.

[laohaire]

My 4 year old in a YMCA locker room after we went swimming:

"I love your boobs!! I LOVE YOUR BOOBS!!! They are jiggly!!! Let me squeeze your boobs!!"

This is not an everyday conversation, just somehow it came up right there.

[newbiemama09]

Originally Posted by butterfly_mommy

My 2 year old DS asked me in a very busy Ikea bathroom.

"Mama where your Diva cup go?"
"Your Diva cup go in your vulva mama?"
"Your Diva cup have menstrual blood mama?"

The whole time me whispering "yes, shhhh" and trying not to laugh.

oh my goodness! way to teach your daughter the proper terms for female anatomy!

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by newbiemama09

oh my goodness! way to teach your daughter the proper terms for female anatomy!

lol I noticed she said DS not DD

[NiteNicole]

In a crowded Target bathroom: wow, that's really good wiping, Mama.

I was cleaning HER up at the time, I don't know why that time was so special.

[TnMsMama]

"Mama, why is your Mr. Winkie so hairy??" in the restroom at a semi-fancy restaurant. Best part was the lady in the next stall attempting to smother her laughter. (I made an appt with the waxer the next day!)

DS was about 3 at the time and had been taught "mr. winkie" by his father for his penis. A long conversation ensued after that, but in private LOL

[StephandOwen]

"Mama.... I'm holding my penis! See!!! Pee goes in the potty!"

(We were having issues with him just peeing towards the potty but not actually paying attention to getting it IN the potty)

"Ewww.... you made it stinky Mama! Please Mama- let me out of here!"

Complete with gagging noises while I'm trying to wipe with one foot on the door so he couldn't open it. I could hear a few people snickering with that one.

"Oh Mama- Where did your penis go??? Did it fall off??? Is it in the potty???"

We had a talk later about how females don't have a penis

[HappilyEvrAfter]

"Mom, are you gonna poo? You need to poo. Cause those farts in the car smelled really nasty!"



That's just a recent one that's gotten snickers from other people in the same restroom.

He's said some other things that were way more shocking regarding my "blood". Which is why now I make him stand just outside the stall where I can see his feet.

[PrincessWinnie]

DH took DS to use the bathroom at the mall when DS was about 3.5 or so. DS took care of business, then DH decided to go while they were in the stall.

Dh unzipped and well... you know..... DS looked up and said loudly "Daddy you have a BIG penis!". Then he looked down and said a little forlornly "I have a little penis."

I was standing outside waiting for them, and about 3 men came out laughing, followed by DH who was laughing so hard he couldn't even make a sound. When he could finally compose himself he said "I don't know whether to laugh or pound my chest with pride!"

[newbiemama09]

Originally Posted by lonegirl

lol I noticed she said DS not DD

Originally Posted by StephandOwen

"Ewww.... you made it stinky Mama! Please Mama- let me out of here!"

Complete with gagging noises while I'm trying to wipe with one foot on the door so he couldn't open it. I could hear a few people snickering with that one.

i would just die!!

Originally Posted by PrincessWinnie

DH took DS to use the bathroom at the mall when DS was about 3.5 or so. DS took care of business, then DH decided to go while they were in the stall.

Dh unzipped and well... you know..... DS looked up and said loudly "Daddy you have a BIG penis!". Then he looked down and said a little forlornly "I have a little penis."

I was standing outside waiting for them, and about 3 men came out laughing, followed by DH who was laughing so hard he couldn't even make a sound. When he could finally compose himself he said "I don't know whether to laugh or pound my chest with pride!"

OMG!!!!!!!! i am SOOOOOOOOO telling DH about this one!!!!

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by PrincessWinnie

DH took DS to use the bathroom at the mall when DS was about 3.5 or so. DS took care of business, then DH decided to go while they were in the stall.

Dh unzipped and well... you know..... DS looked up and said loudly "Daddy you have a BIG penis!". Then he looked down and said a little forlornly "I have a little penis."

I was standing outside waiting for them, and about 3 men came out laughing, followed by DH who was laughing so hard he couldn't even make a sound. When he could finally compose himself he said "I don't know whether to laugh or pound my chest with pride!"

I'm also sharing this one with DH. That.is.awesome.

[mamaw/two]

This thread is hilarious!!

I have four young children, so I have a few (well, more then a few) that stick out

"Mama, I pointed my penis down. Isn't my penis nice? Sometimes it gets big!" (that's from my three year old son)

"Eww, your blood looks gross mama."

"Are you pooping mama? It really smells like you are." Then I try say "Shush" and he yells "What? I didn't hear you, are you pooping mama? I can smell it."

"I really like your jiggely stomach mama" This is from my oldest dd

[neverdoingitagain]

This is from my DH.
He took our two girls to get a toy. I had just had a discussion with my oldest(6) about how boys have a penis and girls have a vagina. I mean, she knew before but it didn't click in until after her hair was cut very short and was being mistaken as a boy. I digress.

In middle of busy store
DD(6) to Dh " Daddy, do you know how you can tell I'm a girl?"
dh,clueless and preoccupied "no honey, how?"

I think you know where this is going.
dd(6) loudly "Girls have vaginas and boys have penises"
cue snickering lady down the aisle.
Better him than me I say


ETA: OH! How I missed the restrooms part of the title, I will never know.
I've just had the usual "Mommy, you're stinky" stuff

[swd12422]

We had a big family party at a nice restaurant, and I voluteered to take my nieces (8 and 5) to the restroom. One had to go, so I asked the little one if she needed to come too. She said yes, and off the three of us went.

We went in, there were two stalls, and both were occupied. One woman came out almost imediately, and the older one went in. I needed to go, too... When the second woman came out, I tried to send the 5-year-old in, and asked her if she needed help (since she was all dressed up in tights, etc). She said no and just stood there, watching the woman adjust her clothes and wash her hands. I said, "Go on. It's your turn." She said, "Oh, I don't have to pee, I just came in here to fart around." The woman's head jerked up so fast I thought she'd get whiplash. And then the shock wore off and we both started laughing hysterically. Fathers just don't get the full impact of how their daughters learn...

[Oliver'sMom]

When ds was about 2 we were in the (very crowded) restroom doing our thing. Ds yelled loudly "Are you pooping Mama?! Good job Mama! You pooped in the potty!! Woah...that's a BIG poop Mama!

I tried to stay in the stall until most everyone had left

[kate42]

My BFF took our kids out to lunch when they were about 3 yo. Her DS kept getting "vagina" confused with "diarrhea."

So, they were in the stall next to us and about four people were in line waiting. From their stall you could hear him say, "Mom, I see your diarrhea!" BFF shushed him.

Then..."I have a penis because I'm a boy. You have a diarrhea because you're not a boy."

More shushing and giggles from the line-waiters.

"You have a diarrhea, Grandma Nikki has a diarrhea, Aunt Kerry has a diarrhea, Mommy Kate has a diarrhea."

At this point, no one could hide their laughter. I'm still in the next stall, cracking up. My DD asks why he keeps talking about poop. My BFF wonders aloud if she could possibly disappear quickly.

Hysterical.

[DeerMother]

I have 2 yr old twins and we go in the big stall where they enjoy flushing the toilet about 25 times while I pee.

Recently, dd has asked,
-is there an elephant in here? ( woman farting loudly in stall next to us)
- is my poop pretty? (uh, no. It's important to poop but I wouldn't call it pretty)
- I wear mama cloth and dd wanted to know all about it.

They both remind me to wipe myself.

[ellemenope]

Wow, very timely.

Today--

"Mommy, what is that come out of your butt?... Oh, that is just red poop. Why do you have red poop again, mama?"
-DD's loud squeaky 24 month old voice

I love the idea to teach them propper names. DD will so be talking about tampons and menstrual blood tomorrow.

[Mountaingirl79]

My sons are older now and we don't really have those moments anymore but when Ds#1 was about 2, I was pregnant with ds #2, and I went in to give urine for one reason or another, my DS looked at it in the plastic cup and said " Is that your beer mommy?"
* cue random snickering from the waiting room* ( he said it as I was taking it to a little window like a bank teller)

LOL

(I didnt drink beer while pregnant, so he must have been thinking of his dad and uncle! LOL!)