Homeschooling and the middle child?

[boysmom2]

We're going to start hsing this fall! But, I'm concerned about my middle child. This would be an issue whether we hs or not, but I wonder if it might be more so because of hsing. I have 3 boys: 8, 5, and 15mo. My oldest has been in the gifted program at our ps. In 1st grade, he tested out of 8th grade reading and last year in 2nd grade he was doing 6th grade math. We've tried not to make too much of a big deal about this, but he's kind of a tough act to follow. He's also a pretty strong personality.

DS2 is also a very bright great kid, though he has not been tested and is not yet a fluent reader (I know that's ok, but ds1 was reading chapter books by this age). He's also pretty easy going. As a result, he gives in to his big brother a lot. Recently he has been expressing anger and frustration at how unfair his lot in life is. He has said that ds1 gets everything and decides everything. And I see it too. He also has gotten a little lost in the shuffle between a demanding older brother and a needy baby brother. He's just not the squeaky wheel, yk?

I'm a little worried that this could get worse as we hs and I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas for me to help improve the situation. Obviously I think hs is the right choice for us, but I do wonder if being away from his sometimes overbearing brother would be good for ds2. Since they will be together more, and learning together, I'm worried that ds2 will just feel worse that not only is his big brother "in charge" but also so much "smarter."

I've already tried to change things so that ds2 is getting more attention and more say in things, but I would welcome any ideas anyone has. He's such a sweet, great boy.

[ollyoxenfree]

No advice, sorry, I only have 2 so I haven't had this dilemma (although I'm a middle child, so I lived through it, lol!). I did want to commend you for being aware and sensitive to the issue though. I've noticed in reading a lot of homeschooling and parenting blogs that the older and younger children seem to always be the focus. Lots get written about them - what they are doing, how they do it, new milestones they achieve, recognizing the last time a milestone will happen etc. - these are all memorialized.

The middle children in blogland are somehow more...vague. They may get a mention during a report of all the children's activities, but rarely get an individual highlight. Now that may just be a writing/blogging thing and in real life, these middle children may be getting a lot more attention than it appears. And maybe I'm biased because of my own middle-child experiences. Good on ya, though, for addressing it with your middle one and supporting him.

[boysmom2]

Thank you so much for your kind words and support! I do hope that the fact that we've realized it will help fix the situation. And I'm glad to hear that you survived being the middle child! My DH and I are both the oldest, so we don't have any first hand experience with it.

Thanks!