Hopsital mix-up and over-reaction (IMO) to accidental breastfeeding - Page 2

[rhiOrion]

Am I the only one thinking of that episode of The Office?

[choli]

The nursing wouldn't have bothered me. I'm a big believer in cross nursing. I think it should be normalized instead of demonized.

[StephandOwen]

Originally Posted by branbran54

I am against getting rid of nurseries. When I delivered my first, I was in labor for over 24 hours. I had no sleep and was in no way capable of tending to a baby. I welcomed the help of the nursery. It is not horrible for mothers and babies. It can be helpful and warranted when the mother needs a little rest so she can regroup after labor.

Agreed. As I said in an earlier post here, I used the nursery for my ds for a few minutes while I took a shower. Should I have not taken a shower? I don't think that would have been beneficial to me or my son. My ds's bio-dad wasn't there. What was I supposed to do? Not everyone has dozens of people sitting in the waiting room, waiting to jump in so mama can take care of herself for a few minutes. I'm pretty sure I stank pretty bad at that point (was admitted to the hospital Wednesday, gave birth Friday afternoon, finally took a shower late Saturday morning.... it had been 4 days since I showered!) and I'm sure the nurses were happy to see me shower. LOL!

[annettemarie]

I was rooming in when it happened to me. They took him out for a shot (I was younger then) and switched him with the other baby bringing him back. Even hospitals that have rooming in here have nurseries. I really don't that line of thinking anyway, because it seems a lot like blaming the mother. "Well, if she hadn't allowed them to take the baby, it wouldn't have happened." New mamas have enough going on without an early dose of mama guilt, and I'm sure she's beating herself up enough over it. I know I still feel guilty, and it's 11 years later. For years I wondered if I had the right kid.

[Chavelamomela]

The issue is not whether another woman's milk is better than formula.

The issue is not about wet-nursing, when mothers willingly pass their babies around to each other to share feedings in a supportive envronment.

The issue is not about bodily fluids.

The issue is about consent and knowledge and bonding with your baby.

Although many of us are experienced breastfeeders by now, try to remember back to those early days of new-motherhood, with your first baby. Try to remember how nervous you were, how important early bonding was, how much you hoped and worried and dreamed about this baby, but had no actual experience.

And then try to imagine how you would feel when you couldn't find your baby in the nursery. Try to imagine how shocking it would be to see another woman nursing your baby, WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT. And then, you realize you need to put the baby to your breast to ensure you stimulate adequate milk production, and YOUR BABY WONT NURSE!!! because another woman has already nursed him! And try to imagine how much that early experience would affect your early bonding with your baby, how you'd feel that this was 'stolen' from you, and your ability to bond with your baby is compromised because all you can think about is that another woman gave him milk when it should have come from you! And even once your worries about this woman's health are assuaged, there's still an incredible amount of anxiety associated with the entire experience of nursing your baby.

The article doesn't seem to indicate if she stopped nursing or continued (i guess I assumed she continued), but I am sure it has been a difficult experience for this mom.

Sure, i am a fan of wet-nursing, donor milk, etc. But that's not the issue here.

Let's give this mom a break and see how awful this experience has been for her. it shouldn't have happened to her and she feels it every time she thinks about her baby's birth.

[Amatullah0]

I agree that she definitely overreacted, but I feel like a lot of people tend to strongly react to little things these days. I wouldn't mind if someone nursed my little one, and if in her situation, I would have been grateful that I found DS in someone else's room(as opposed to not finding him, or to learn that he'd been discharged with someone else!) I would have been a little upset at the staff for allowing it to happen, but I would have been grateful to see that he was cared for and fed and happy. Though, i'd probably want a pump, or to feed someone to relieve my breasts!.

but then again, i too wish that cross nursing was a normal practice in today's society.

[annettemarie]

I wish cross nursing was normal too, but that still doesn't mean I would want strangers walking up, taking my kid without my consent, and nursing him.

[tinybutterfly]

I am moving this to News & Current Events as it does not really seem to be a lactivism issue in keeping with the Lactivism Forum guidelines.



tinybutterfly

[goodygumdrops]

While the theory of cross-nursing is great, breast milk is a biological fluid and can contain many viruses, including HIV and Hep. So, I would be certainly freaked out if a stranger nursed my newborn. I don't see how people can say that this mother was overreacting. How would you feel if someone spread another body fluid on your infant(blood or semen)...I suspect you would be horrified and outraged.

[Kristine233]

I would be freaked out too. Both by the hospital mix up and the non-consent of the nursing. I'm all for cross-nursing, but when I KNOW the person and can determine if its an ok source for my child. A random stranger is a totally different situation IMO. Also, for many moms the first couple days are extremely important for establishing a good latch and supply. We had one slip up with my youngest and she absolutely refused to latch for 3 more months no matter what we tried or how many Lactation consultants I visited. I was devastated. Not everyone can easily breastfeed and for some of us its much much harder. (I did breastfeed for 13 months with her after we overcame the latch issue though!! Yay!) Comparing it to cow milk is not accurate either since milk from cows is pasteurized.

Breastfeeding is an intimate act. Intimate does not equate to sexual though. Its a very special bond between mom and child. I don't think calling it intimate is a bad thing, I think we should see more public breastfeeding to show off how wonderful it is and how special that bond is.

Rooming in is wonderful, but nurseries have a place too. I knew I wanted to room in with my kids. I couldn't with my oldest because of serious medical issues that required her to be in level 2, but it set it in stone that my others would be rooming in. Then it happened, when my youngest was born I found myself unable to care for her late that night. I couldn't control my hands, they were weak and wouldn't do what I wanted and I couldn't see straight. I told the nurse and she poo-poo'd me. She set her in my arms and I couldn't even hold her to make sure she was secure, I had no grip or control at all. I was barely lucid. I begged the nurse to take her because I was afraid I was going to drop her, the nurse told me there was no nursery and left me. She came back later to put her in the bassinet but it still haunts me that they put her in my lap and refused to acknowledge that it simply wasn't safe. I couldn't even push the call button to summon another nurse or if something would have happened. The hospital I was in even allowed co-sleeping and was very "crunchy", didn't even offer formula and didn't give away samples either. If you wanted it, you had to supply it. So I'm sure that made a huge difference. The whole experience made me realize that there is a place for things even mainstream, even if I couldn't fathom myself using them. Thus I no longer jump to assumptions or judge other mothers.

[heartmama]

I'm thinking of The Office episode too...

[phathui5]

Originally Posted by branbran54

I am against getting rid of nurseries. When I delivered my first, I was in labor for over 24 hours. I had no sleep and was in no way capable of tending to a baby. I welcomed the help of the nursery. It is not horrible for mothers and babies. It can be helpful and warranted when the mother needs a little rest so she can regroup after labor.

Stopping taking most babies to the nursery wouldn't take that away from you. At one of the hospitals where I attend births, they don't use a nursery for healthy babies, but the nurses will hold the baby for you at the nurses' station.