help! We are moving to ---------? schools/laws/ttc

[serepartera]

Hello,

My partner is about to start applying to grad schools and we are trying to narrow down our list. We are starting TTC next cycle (me carrying )
, so when we move next summer I will hopefully be pregnant. Our son will be in first grade. Our preference is a state where our family will be recognized and we can get both names on our son and future babies birth certificates. Also, DS is currently in Waldorf school, so that would be a plus.
Top of our list now is: Boston, Seattle, bay area. We are currently in NC.

Tell me about your home!

Thanks in advance.

[FtMPapa]

Western Mass is great, high cost of living, but not compared to the places you listed.

Have you thought about Canada?

It's really going to depend on what programs you're looking at. What discipline?

[serepartera]

She's applying to law schools.

Any idea how laws work when moving to/from Canada? Could I work? Visa needed? If I was pregnant upon arrival, how would health care work? **wheels spinning**

[serepartera]

She's applying to law schools.

Any idea how laws work when moving to/from Canada? Could I work? Visa needed? If I was pregnant upon arrival, how would health care work? **wheels spinning**

[megincl]

We're in the Boston area. Very high cost of living, but beyond that, terrific legal protection, comfort with queer families, etc. Let me know if you want further info about anything in particular!

And good luck deciding. Grad school is a huge one!

[milletpuff]

I'm not supposed to say this cos everyone keeps moving here, but I love Portland

Lots of queer families, lots of excellent health care options, tons of activities, mild weather, natural beauty. Domestic partnership is legal, but feels tentative to me (was granted previously, but overturned, possibly more than once), but as of now I believe that both parents can go directly on the birth certificate (if not at birth, than after 2nd parent adoption for sure). We don't have kids yet so I can't speak to schools or family-friendlyness for sure, but there are kids areas in just about every store we go to. We lived in the Bay Area before here and I felt that it was AGGRESSIVELY anti-child and anti-family in many ways, and that was our #1 reason for leaving.

There is a queer moms group here, but I see tons of lesbians with babies, all over.

There is a law school here, Lewis and Clark. All I know is that it's very expensive

Good luck!

[burg]

I will add to the MA sentiments. I grew up in SE MA and can't wait to move back! Good luck deciding.

[greenmulberry]

Hello.

I live in Iowa City, we have University of Iowa which has a good law school.

Same sex marriage is legal in Iowa.

I really love Iowa City. Me and DP are straight but I am sure your family would be very welcome here. The community has lots of queer families. I know you may think "Sheesh, middle of nowhere, Iowa" but this is a very progressive spot in the midwest! Combine that with lowish costs of living a a friendly midwest atmosphere, I just love it here.

[serepartera]

Thanks everyone!
The Boston area is at the top of our list. There are several programs she is interested in there and good prospects for my employment if I don't get pregnant quickly. Can anyone speak to elementary schools in Boston? DS is in a Waldorf inspired alternative school right now, but NO WAY will we be able to afford private school after we move.

I've heard similar anti-child sentiments about the bay area before. Too bad. We'd (well, I'd ) rather stay on the east coast anyway. I'm a southern girl, but would love my kids to see more families like ours in day to day life.

Thanks! (Keep it coming?)

[osker]

You definitely want to live outside of Boston itself (which includes Jamaica Plain) if you want decent schools. Sad to say, the Boston public school system is not great at the moment.
Brookline schools are decent, Needham schools are fine, Newton schools are AWESOME... You might look into getting scholarships to Waldorf schools as well. There's one in Arlington that does do that, though I'm not sure how well or for how much.
You might start by thinking about commute time and how far out of the city itself you would want to live.

We LOVE Boston, but cost of living and traffic are certainly worth researching and thinking about.

Any more specific questions? I love talking about how great the Boston area is!

[megincl]

My lovely wife is a principal at a great, hippy, queer-friendly Cambridge public school....definitely a good option!

I second looking into financial aid at the Waldorf school or other private schools (we do that -- don't ask about the public school wife, private school son -- madness! ). (the Waldorf school is in Lexington, also).

And, as the other educator in our two-educator household, in terms of good schools, I personally think it's SO hard to say in any blanket way. There are systems that have high MCAS scores. Do I think those schools are necessarily good? Or good for most kids? Not necessarily. So much of test scores is wrapped up in socio-economic status, and more. So I think it's important to really think about what it is that YOU want in a school for your son. If you have time before kindy to move here and look around, you're likely to get a better fit.

Always excited to have more folks from this board in the area! (but still, so very expensive!)

[Sierra]

Might not fit with your family educational philosophies, or your child's notions of school, since you are doing Waldorf, but in Boston (maybe Brookline?) there is a public Montessori school, which I think is a FABULOUS option.

That said, I have lived in the Boston area as well as in Seattle, and hands down Seattle wins...for me. Though Boston offers the marriage option, Seattle is prettier, more low key, cleaner, milder in terms of temperatures, and...the list goes on. Both our names are on our children's birth certificates (note: we adopted them, however, rather than giving birth), and this took place in Washington state. The big advantage in Boston is better public transportation. But Seattle's system isn't bad.

[mumm]

Another Boston vote, although for the 'burbs not Boston proper. The state is a good place to be for gay parents and is a mandated state in case ttc doesn't go smoothly (knock wood). I went to grad school commuting from the burbs and it was fine, although we didn't have kids at the time.
(I can't even imagine trying to combine school, work and kids. Impressive everytime I see it happening!)
Good luck!

[osker]

Sierra is right, that Boston does have a public Montessori school, it's in East Boston. Not sure how school selection, bussing, and lotteries work in Boston... keep in mind, though, that there is school open house for Boston Public Schools in November of the year prior, with choices being due in January, I believe. So if you're moving next summer you would be late for school selection for your son... I'm sure there is some way that they work that out though!
Almost forgot! Cambridge has a public Montessori school as well!