Little bed in our room or move our bed to his room?

[gopalakrishna]

So, we have had a long co-sleeping history with our son, who is 2 1/2. Currently, after baby #2 arrived, my husband sleeps in his room on a twin bed with DS in a toddler bed. I sleep in the baby's room. DS is not sleeping great in the toddler bed so we are thinking he may need to move back to a regular mattress where he has more room(he moves A LOT). Here are the two options we have discussed: 1. DH and I move back to our room and create a sleeping space for DS in our room. Have him start out the night in his room and if he wants to come into our room to sleep, he has to sleep in his bed next to ours.
2. We move the queen mattress back into his room next to the twin. DH will sleep in the queen and DS on the twin.

Which sounds like a better option to you? DH and I would like to move in the direction of sleeping in the same room again...it has been more than 2 years!!!! DS is extremely sensitive and emotional about his sleeping arrangements and if he doesn't like something, there will be a lot of crying involved. We want him to feel safe and secure, but we also want help move him towards independent sleeping with confidence. KWIM?

[philomom]

I'd opt for setting up a daybed or a little bed in your room.


Do get your hubby sleeping with you again! Couples need closeness.

[Mother in Mercy]

I agree with philomom! The most important part of your children's lives is the unity that you share with your husband. If your DS gets worked up about a change in the routine (which is totally understandable) just keep calm and let your confidence and security communicate to your son that different can be good, too. Crying can be a natural expression of frustration, but you make your parenting decisions for the ultimate good of the family, so keep your eyes on that and give your DS time to adjust.

I'm mostly giving this pep-talk to myself, too, because we're going to try to move DS toward his own bed and night-weaning, now that we're expecting another LO! So I know what you are facing.

[gopalakrishna]

Thanks everyone. I do agree that moving back into our room is the clearly obvious choice, but I am afraid it is not going to be that simple Thankfully, both DH and I are incredibly supportive of each other and we have handled the sleep arrangements well. DH and I don't go to sleep or wake up at the same time, so the impact has been minimized although of course we miss the closeness. My husband is a very light sleeper and once woken up has a hard time falling back asleep. That is the main reason for us sleeping apart in the first place, because DS has always been a frequent night waker.

Sooooo, maybe my question should more be for those of you who may have used a similar set-up in your room(maybe a sleeping bag or small bed?) how did the LOs handle it? What kind of sleeping space did you set up? Did they comply or bug you to get into your bed?

[texmati]

my child is much younger, and I only have one-- but we have just started having two beds (one on the floor and our regular bed) in anticipation of this next baby.

So far it's worked out really well, and means that everyone can get more sleep! Also DH and I get more snuggle time since we can both 'sneak' away to our bed in the middle of the night. DS seems to go to sleep easier since we don't have to 'transfer' him into the crib, but stays asleep better since he doesn't have to deal with my getting up to pee 20 times a night.

Just to add, I have fond memories of having 'sleep overs' with my sister in my parents bedroom. We never wanted to get into bed with them because we had each other! I'm sure that will be the case for your two as they get a little older.