Okay, so we homeschool and always have -- just want to get that bias out there right now. :-) However, I have a ton of friends who use brick and mortar schools for their kiddos, and I can guarantee that each and every one of them would agree with me -- that school day is MUCH too long for a 4 year, especially a 4 year old spirited boy. That's a long time to be away from home (i.e. the familiar and comfortable), it's a long time to be on someone else's schedule, and if he is the least bit introverted, that's a long time to be expected to interact civilly with others. We would never expect a child his age to work those kind of hours, and yet for many children his age, it definitely can start to feel like work.
I would keep looking. He's not happy, you're not happy. There's no reason to rush, and it's okay to change one's mind about something like this (you won't be losing face or setting a bad example). There have to be some half days programs somewhere around you; alternatively, find some activities and schedule 2 or 3 days around those (drop off programs at the Y, or something like that).
As for homeschooling, it's not as difficult as you might think. :-) Really, with very, very few exceptions, the vast majority of parents are capable of educating their own children. There are many statistics to back this up. Homeschooling doesn't happen in one particular way, either -- it can look like what you (and your children) want it to look like. :-) And it might be worth checking into the homeschooling group, even if it looks cliquish. Looks can be deceiving, and the information and experience you can tap into can be invaluable.
I just started looking up charter schools...there appear to be none near us, and I really don't think there are any other half day options that are free or cheap enough that we can afford right now. I will definitely do more research on homeschooling and perhaps find more out about the LLL hs co-op. Maybe if I find other possibilities that can work I can give this school the boot after *this* week, not next. That thought makes me really happy, but at the same time, the thought of having him with me all day makes me think: "What am I going to doooo?"
Thanks, theatermom. And thank you, Ariatrance, for your input also, but I might really go crazy if we wait 6 weeks to see different results. Sigh...for now, I need to try to sleep, as today is my dd's first birthday and we are having friends over later to celebrate with us. I really appreciate the support!
ETA: Funny thing is, he's fine in the mornings. He just got dressed without any protest and without much reminding , and waved happily to me and dd as DH drove him off. We'll see what happens later... although DH is picking him up early today, whether they like it or not. Heh.