Okay, I find myself second guessing what seems reasonable for my tween. I have a dd who turns 12 in a couple of months and is homeschooled. I have a few areas of uncertainty. Leaving her alone at home and/or traveling near to my work on foot or by bus. Social networking sites such as facebook for keeping in touch with friends both local and long distance.
I work half-time and can take her to work with me (I work at a university about 15 minutes from home - well 20 or 25 with current construction), but she would like to stay home occasionally. She could do her online classes and other school work, but also of course would be playing computer games and surfing the internet to some extent. We live at the edge of town, with no near neighbors. We do have a friend about 1/2 mile down the road who regularly is on our property for a couple hours every morning (she keeps her horse on our farm). We have two dogs to keep dd company as well. However, we do occasionally have random strangers drive up and knock.
She would also like to go to an art class which would mean walking across the university campus, riding a university bus a short distance and then walking a couple of blocks to the art class location. The area is relatively safe, with a few homeless that hang out in the area, and the usual statistics of a university - occasional crimes against students walking alone. This class would take place in early afternoon and the trip would be in all well populated areas. She may also be able to ride a bus to the city library where she could hang out awhile and perhaps attend a teen writing class.
Lastly, facebook. Many of her friends are on, but we just told her you have to be 13. I don't particularly want to lie about her age even though it is a rather random rule. I think it would help her keep in touch with a couple of good friends who attend school and are often too busy to get together often. She also has a few friends scattered over the country that she knows from online classes and has met in person once from our travels. They all facebook despite being under 13 for the most part. Dd sometimes feels a little left out of the loop by not being online.
Anyway, my nearly 12 year old is a bit of a dreamer, but generally responsible girl. I want her to begin to learn to care for herself in the world but not get into a situation she can't handle. I think all of these activities are appropriate. She will have a phone with her. However, I have friends who feel like letting a 12 year old travel around town even for short distances alone is crazy. We are not in a big city or high crime area. Am I missing something and hopelessly naive? I know I roamed town all the time as a kid, but I was usually with a brother and/or friends. It was also eons ago when we didn't wear seat belts or bike helmets either. Dd says she wants to go away to college when the time comes. She may end up in a city and I would like her to have a clue of how to take care of herself. We do walk and take the bus together and I try to point things out to pay attention to, but I don't think it will really sink in until mom is not there to take care of everything. Thoughts? Advice?
I work half-time and can take her to work with me (I work at a university about 15 minutes from home - well 20 or 25 with current construction), but she would like to stay home occasionally. She could do her online classes and other school work, but also of course would be playing computer games and surfing the internet to some extent. We live at the edge of town, with no near neighbors. We do have a friend about 1/2 mile down the road who regularly is on our property for a couple hours every morning (she keeps her horse on our farm). We have two dogs to keep dd company as well. However, we do occasionally have random strangers drive up and knock.
She would also like to go to an art class which would mean walking across the university campus, riding a university bus a short distance and then walking a couple of blocks to the art class location. The area is relatively safe, with a few homeless that hang out in the area, and the usual statistics of a university - occasional crimes against students walking alone. This class would take place in early afternoon and the trip would be in all well populated areas. She may also be able to ride a bus to the city library where she could hang out awhile and perhaps attend a teen writing class.
Lastly, facebook. Many of her friends are on, but we just told her you have to be 13. I don't particularly want to lie about her age even though it is a rather random rule. I think it would help her keep in touch with a couple of good friends who attend school and are often too busy to get together often. She also has a few friends scattered over the country that she knows from online classes and has met in person once from our travels. They all facebook despite being under 13 for the most part. Dd sometimes feels a little left out of the loop by not being online.
Anyway, my nearly 12 year old is a bit of a dreamer, but generally responsible girl. I want her to begin to learn to care for herself in the world but not get into a situation she can't handle. I think all of these activities are appropriate. She will have a phone with her. However, I have friends who feel like letting a 12 year old travel around town even for short distances alone is crazy. We are not in a big city or high crime area. Am I missing something and hopelessly naive? I know I roamed town all the time as a kid, but I was usually with a brother and/or friends. It was also eons ago when we didn't wear seat belts or bike helmets either. Dd says she wants to go away to college when the time comes. She may end up in a city and I would like her to have a clue of how to take care of herself. We do walk and take the bus together and I try to point things out to pay attention to, but I don't think it will really sink in until mom is not there to take care of everything. Thoughts? Advice?
