School decision

[purslaine]

I wrote this on another thread, but think it deserves its own thread:

My Ds sleeps from 3 in the morning to 2 in the afternoon. Every attempt I have made to alter this scheduel has basically failed. I can get him up but it takes many attempts often over hours. He is HSed - so it is not so important...but still. We often have stuff planned, and he sometimes has obligations that start earlier than 3:00 p.m. - so his different sleep habits are relevant.

He also has a physical condition (GERD) that causes him pain on an almost daily basis, he has had it 3 months, and the doctors have not been overly useful. He is seeing a chiropractor now, and our next stop in a naturopath. I am confident we will find the cause of this, but it may not happen soon.

As I said, he is HSed at the moment, but I think there is part of him that wants to try school. He says he has not made up his mind whether he wants to go in September! I have no idea how school is going to work out with his sleep issues and GERD issues. He has taken a class through cyber school and did well academically - I do not want him to go to school with his sleep and pain issues and not do so well. I do not want to fight him on getting up in the morning.

Would you encourage a teen with the above profile to try school if he wanted to - or not?

Is it OK to put conditions on going to school - you can go if you get yourself up or get up easily and get decent marks? (fwiw - I do think grades are somewhat relevant if you go to high school. They do look at marks to determine what stream to put you in, and eventually for college and University.)

I want him to go to school if that is what he wants, but I want him to go from a position of strength and we are so not there at this moment.

[CarrieMF]

Wasn't he in school before & you pulled him out to homeschool?

Honestly the only reason he's not getting up earlier is because he's going to bed so late. It'll be easier to wean him into going to bed earlier than doing it cold turkey. What is he doing until 3am? It'll be easier for him to go to sleep earlier once the days get shorter.

Being that he's 14 you may have to push him to get up even if he's going to bed at a reasonable time.

[34me]

If he is committed to going, I would think he would be self motivated to switch his sleep habits around. As for the GERD, I would have him start some dietary changes. My 11 year old has had severe GERD since birth. We medicated him for a long time with PPIs until we were able to figure out his triggers which (for him) are food related. They can also be positional, eating too late, etc. A tsp of baking soda in about an inch of water can make him feel better if he has eaten something he shouldn't have.

Good luck.

[purslaine]

Originally Posted by CarrieMF

Wasn't he in school before & you pulled him out to homeschool?

Honestly the only reason he's not getting up earlier is because he's going to bed so late. It'll be easier to wean him into going to bed earlier than doing it cold turkey. What is he doing until 3am? It'll be easier for him to go to sleep earlier once the days get shorter.

Being that he's 14 you may have to push him to get up even if he's going to bed at a reasonable time.

He has been in school before - for 3 years, part time. There were things he liked and things he didn't.

Sure, he sleeps in because he goes to bed late. We have tried for the last year or so to change this pattern (even down to something more reasonable like 1 a.m. -11:00 a.m. and it has not worked. We have tried weaning, we have tried simply waking him up at a normal time, we have tried 2 alarm clocks - nada. I can get him out of bed but I have to be a real hard a$$ about it. Maybe the reason it hasn't worked is because the idea was coming from me with he only half-heartedly agreeing he needs to get up earlier. The school idea is coming from him - so maybe it will work? I don't know.

I suppose I should not borrow trouble. I should just be very clear - if he wants to go he needs to get himself up.

34me - the GERD may be dietary. It was the first thing we changed, but honestly, it made little difference. It could be we have not hit on the right food - hence the need for allergy or sensitivity testing. We have changed his bed postion, and he no longer eats at night. PPI work a little, but not much (and they seem to irritate his stomach when he takes them!) Sigh. I hate GERD.

[Oubliette8]

I'm a night owl. But if there's something I HAVE to do, like work, that requires getting up early, I manage to get my sleep habits under control. On the other hand, if I tried getting up early just for the sake of getting up early, it wouldn't happen. I'd put him in charge of getting up. Maybe set some limits around what happens if he misses school because he's not up, at what point you will pull the plug etc. But i would leave the time he gets up and how to him, unless he requests help. For me, I get ready very quickly, I can roll out of bed and be on my way in less than 30 minutes. I know many people take longer than that, but if they try to wake ME up early, its no good. I refuse to get up before I absolutely have to. Nothing is more annoying than waking up out of a wonderful sleep, getting ready, and then having to sit around and wait when you'd rather go back to bed. I guess, I would talk to him and make sure he understands that school starts at X time and he needs to be there, ask how he plans to do that, and then lay down your limits as to what happens if he can't.

[buttercup784ever]

Has your son ever had a sleep study? GERD is a symptom of obstructive sleep apnea, and it could be the reason he is so hard to wake up in the morning (or afternoon).

[purslaine]

Originally Posted by buttercup784ever

Has your son ever had a sleep study? GERD is a symptom of obstructive sleep apnea, and it could be the reason he is so hard to wake up in the morning (or afternoon).

No-he hasn't. Thanks for the info...will research.

[nd_deadhead]

I'm a natural night owl too. I have a hard time getting up early just forthe sake of getting up - I need some sort of deadline, like getting to work or church on time, or making an appointment.

If you scheduled your son for something that he liked every day at 11 am, he would probably be a lot more motivated to make the effort.

[almama]

If he said he would like to go, I would let him do it. BUT I would definitely voice my concerns, make some suggestions (earlier bedtime and naps?), and tell him you want to keep the communication open.

One thing I have to stress with my previously hs'd kid is that I want to hear about problems, but I will not pull him out of school for just any problem. I tell him hs'ing remains an option, but if we are making a commitment to school, it is important to try for solutions there first. So if your DS were to have trouble getting up for school or doing work, it should be clear to him there would be discussions and options first before getting re-pulled to homeschool. It may not be an issue with your DS, but mine needed that clarity in order to give school an adequate try.