It's not the baby - it's HIM!

[newmamalizzy]

My 4-month-old DS sleeps 5-ish hours in a pack'n'play beside our bed, wakes up for a feeding (she's formula fed), but then can't settle back into her bed and is usually doing gymnastics in there an hour later. I pull her into bed with me, and she sleeps wonderfully until the appetite strikes again. It doesn't give me a ton of uninterrupted sleep, but it would be okay...

EXCEPT - My BF keeps me awake all night long! I love him to death, but, why are guys so gross?? He mouth breaths, snores, smells, sweats, writhes. He is the reason that DS and I do not cosleep (until 5 a.m. when BF gets up). I'm really sensitive to night-noises and particularly snoring, so I used to always sleep with earplugs, but I don't feel comfortable doing that with baby. I don't know if there's anything to do but ride this out, so I guess I'm just out here looking for some commiseration. I DREAD nighttime these days. Anyone else sharing a room with a stinky, noisy man AND a baby? How did/do you cope? How do you make co-sleeping with both work?

[LCBMAX]

Sorry to say... second bedroom. For him.

[jump mama jump!]

yep. I've banished him to the couch for snoring and grinding his teeth twice now in the last week. Sucks but I have to sleep. The worst is when I'm doing all the nighttime parenting (SAHM so it's part of the deal when he has to work in the morning) and I'll get the baby to sleep only to have him wake her every time by snoring. I love him but it makes me want to hurt him after a while so banishing him to the couch is as much for his safety as for my benefit.

[LynnS6]

Has he ever been tested for sleep apnea? All of those things sound familiar to me and our sleep life is a ton better since dh got is CPAP machine. If he's sweating and writhing along with snoring, I'd consider it.

Otherwise, separate bedrooms sounds like a good idea until your ds is a bit older.

[Jessnet]

We're a two bedroom family, too!

[newmamalizzy]

Uh-oh. We don't have a couch OR a second bedroom large enough to sleep an adult!!! I'm thinking a tent in the yard might work. Thanks for the sleep apnea suggestion - that's definitely worth looking into.

[Tway]

OH MY GOD! Did I post this in my sleep????

Last night went like:

10:30 - DH goes to bed
11:00 - I go to bed
11:10 - DH screams "SHITSHITSHIT!!!" (in his sleep) I clamp my hand over his mouth so he doesn't wake DD.
11:15 - DH snores. I roll hom on his side.
11:25 - DH screams "THEBABYTHEBABY!!!" (in his sleep again). I whisper "Wake up!" and he replies "What?" and falls back to sleep
11:30 - DH kicks me with his Jimmy legs
11:45 - DH snores again. I repeat as above.
11:46 - DH's unbrushed-teeth breath is all up in my face and I tell DH to go sleep on the &*#*& couch and let me get some sleeeeeppppp!!!

Apparently I banished him the night before, too, but I can't remember...

[JudiAU]

Dh sleeps on our spare bed now. I get 10 times the sleep I did with our first baby sleeps better. King bed is awesome with just the two of us.

If I knew then what I know now I would have an extra bed the same day. The whole couch/aero/bad sleeping angries could have been avoided.

[outlier]

Originally Posted by Tway

OH MY GOD! Did I post this in my sleep????

Last night went like:

10:30 - DH goes to bed
11:00 - I go to bed
11:10 - DH screams "SHITSHITSHIT!!!" (in his sleep) I clamp my hand over his mouth so he doesn't wake DD.
11:15 - DH snores. I roll hom on his side.
11:25 - DH screams "THEBABYTHEBABY!!!" (in his sleep again). I whisper "Wake up!" and he replies "What?" and falls back to sleep
11:30 - DH kicks me with his Jimmy legs
11:45 - DH snores again. I repeat as above.
11:46 - DH's unbrushed-teeth breath is all up in my face and I tell DH to go sleep on the &*#*& couch and let me get some sleeeeeppppp!!!

Apparently I banished him the night before, too, but I can't remember...

I almost want to say we must share husbands, except mine will snore in any position, even on his stomach.

Our baby's not here yet, but I am going to try using a white noise machine for both me and baby. If that doesn't work, someone's getting kicked out of the bed, even if it's me since dh's back needs the good mattress more than I do.

[kriket]

Originally Posted by Tway

OH MY GOD! Did I post this in my sleep????

I think I posted it in my sleep!

I had a rattley air conditioner. DH snoring, his butt in my side, he sweaty socks on my leg, a sideways blanket he would NOT let go of for me to get some.

Luckily DS slept peacefully until about 4am when he wanted in the big bed and to nurse. He did keep sticking his feet in me...

I don't have any suggestions. I have just been toughing it out for the past year and a half. I don't get much sleep, and have learned to live with it. We have a full and the crib sidecarred. I REALLY wish we had a bigger bed, but, we don't.

DH would ask for a divorce if I asked him to sleep in another room and seriously meant it. It's one of his 'things'

[Bebe's Mom]

I totally agree about the sleep apnea thing!!! My husband has it, and we used to have horrible fights in the middle of the night because I couldn't get any sleep, even with earplugs and sleeping downstairs on the couch. (This was before we had a baby.) He has a cpap now and everyone sleeps better. Well, he does anyway. DD wakes me up anywhere from 3-6 times a night. We cosleep and she kicks my side when she wakes up and wants to nurse. I am really looking forward to nightweaning!!

[texaspeach]

dh wakes me up more than ds. he wakes ds too we don't have a guest room and the couch is awful for sleeping. we'd all sleep better in our own beds

[laohaire]

I do not sleep with my husband - and he's not even that bad. I've been in the guest room for 2 years and have no plans to change it.

DD finds his snores comforting. But sometimes he'll get into a sort of snorting cycle rather than the nice calm long snores. She'll kick him repeatedly in the back till he rolls over, then he'll quiet down. For a while.

[stinkelein]

we have seperate beds and i am the snorer. but the breath and the sweat etc drive me nuts. we are in the same room.

[newmamalizzy]

OP here. DH is making a gross clicky noise in his throat that keeps me from sleeping, so here I am checking this post. Not sure there's a solution, but the responses are making me giggle like crazy. Whoever decided that you had to share a bed if you love someone was nuts, nuts, nuts.

[happysmileylady]

Yes, see if you can get him to get tested for sleep apnea. For real.

You described my DH completely before he was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Except that not only did he snore with his mouth open, if he wasn't snoring, just breathing through his nose was so freaking loud. And he talked and mumbled and farted (loud and long and smelly) and rolled over and over and over. Somehow, dd2 managed to sleep through all of it, STTN at only 4 wks old, despite being in the cradle right at the end of the bed. I on the other hand wished I could have gone to the couch.

Now that he has a CPAP, he is SO quiet. We still have gaseous emmissions, no CPAP can correct that, but just dealing with that is so much easier than dealing with everything else.

[Jackies Ladybug]

we're a two bed family as well, dh sleeps in dd's bed, both dds sleep with me