3yo and Ecopresis? Potty issues?

[leurMaman]

I really have no idea where this thread goes, but I'm desperate for some guidance and more information. We started my 3yo in a private school at the beginning of the last school year (she was 2 and turned 3 in Oct). Since she had to be potty-trained for this and potty-training my son at 2 years was a cinch, we pushed her (too early I now realize) to be in panties by Sept. I don't know if it was all that or also the day she got into a bag of super dehydrated fruit snacks and ate the whole things secretly, but she first got consitapated and then ended up with a big ball of poop being stuck in her bowls. This led to accidents of both pee and poop throughout the Winter.

Thinking that it was recurring UTI, I took her repeatedly to our pediatrician only to be told there was nothing wrong. I was frustrated and confused at her unwillingness to sit still, eat dinner, even attempt going to the bathroom for me, and all the accidents. It was emotional for me and her both. I didn't even hear about the ball that was inside and the bowel issues until an xray that was done in March. I felt HORRIBLE when I learned about this. Doctor said Miralax once a day. After two weeks of this she seemed better and I quit. It got worse, we got referred to an Encopresis Specialist. This lady is hard-core and wants me to give her mineral oil (2 tsp.), Miralax (2 tsp 2x a day), and ex Lax (was once a day now every other day - 1/2 chocolate piece). She seems to want me to do this for a long time (I first saw her in late May).

After struggling since January, my husband swears that my daughter looks scrawny and malnurished as a starving child. He says her head looks bigger than her body. I don't see that, but her self-confidence is so low that I don't think I can bear to put her in school in September when she could have accidents and embarrass herself at a crucial time in development. I took her to a naturopath who only prescribed some homeopathic pill for 2 days and told me to rub her belly with castor oil. Those didn't work.

I'm desperate to help my baby. What can I do? Has anyone been down this road? Where can I look?

[Bokonon]

Honestly, it sounds like she was not ready to be potty trained and tried to maintain control over her body by withholding her poop.

From what I've read, it's very common for toddlers to withhold bowel movements. It was definitely the case with my son. Starting a few months after he turned 3, he would go 7-10 days between poops, and was still in diapers. We had just moved to a new house, and then my dad died, and shortly thereafter, I got pregnant and had severe morning sickness. It was a LOT of change, and he adapted very well except for his bowel movements. I believe he held on to that because it was one of the only things he could control.

He was pee-trained for the most part at around 3 years and 9 months, but then I was put on hospital bedrest and it wasn't a huge priority for DH to make sure DS was potty-trained. So he was in pull-ups, and then after the baby came home from the hospital and DS turned 4, we made potty-training a priority and he was fully pee-trained. He would ask for a pull-up to poop in, and when I finally accepted that, he stopped withholding quite so much.

A couple of months later, he agreed to sit on the potty to poop, while I blew bubbles for him. That was the very last time he withheld his poop. Once he realized that it didn't hurt, and it wasn't scary, he never asked for a pull-up again. Within a few weeks he was done with diapers overnight as well.

He was "late" on potty learning, but I really believe he had to get there on his own terms. I introduced the potty to him when he was 2 years old (he didn't start walking until he was almost 2 because of motor delays), but he actually never "went" on the potty.

[onegirloneboy]

My daughter had the same thing at the same age.

When she finally would poop it was man sized poops out of a tiny little girl. Her poop was HUGE for 2 reasons. 1. she was holding it in because she was scared to let it out. 2. She has a gluten intolerance that manifested as constipation.

The reason they want to do the meds so long is to get her brain used to having soft poops again and break the poop=pain cycle. Our dr. said it usually takes about 4-6 months.

We increased the water intake a ton!
My naturopath had us take Intestinal Cleanse #3. It worked wonders and it is much more natural.

I hope things get better quickly. Having a plugged up kid is miserable.

[manchestermafia]

My son is 12 and still messes his pants occasionally due to his encopresis. He was on Miralax a number of times then for a year. I finally took him off it because I didn't see any difference. A month ago I started giving him 8 billion strain of probiotics. He hasn't had any accidents, doesn't clog the toilet, and goes more frequently. The health food store should have a powder form of probiotics for the little one. It's worth a try.

[onegirloneboy]

I agree a good probiotic is a MUST!!!!

[leurMaman]

Thanks, ladies. I went to Whole Foods and bought children's probiotics. I like the idea of blowing bubbles and really accentuating the positivity of potty time. I also want to try Calm Child (magnesium supplement) and coconut oil (instead of mineral oil). I'm going to give these things a go for a few days. I guess I had better hold her back from school, though it doesn't start until Sept. 13, so I wonder if I could see any improvement by then. I mean, I can't keep her out of school forever, right?