I'm going to take perhaps a different perspective on this.
You obviously have a list of "soft markers"...but may I ask why/how you compiled the list? I mean, are these markers obvious/striking, or (and please don't take this the wrong way...) are you just hitting up Dr Google too much?
I say that only because when my DS2 was born and something was *obviously* wrong (multiple system defects), I started researching genetic syndromes so much that soon enough I was convinced that both myself and my husband, and our oldest son, had chromosome defects. If you look at almost anyone close enough, you'll find markers. But that doesn't mean there's a chromosome defect, and if there is a defect, that doesn't mean there's actually anything "wrong".
For example...on my mom's side of the family there's a lot of micro/retrognathia, ranging from mild (just need some braces) to pretty moderate-severe (my mom had jaw and chin reconstruction in her early 20s). I have it mild-moderate (had head gear, a palatal expander, 7 years of braces, etc). I had severe lazy eye as an infant/child, my mom has it mildly, my sister has it mildly. I had very flat foot arches. I had issues with the ligaments in my ankles. I have a brother with Aspergers. I have a sister with dyslexia. OH MY GOSH WE MUST HAVE A CHROMOSOME ISSUE! Do you see how my mind went there? But guess what, my chromosomes are normal (tested after my son's microarray came back positive for 22q11.2 deletion).
My husband has depression and social anxiety. He really struggles with math, can't spell worth a darn. He is legally blind (although possibly a result of a birth injury). He is very overweight (so is his whole family, but he is much more so). His brother is...odd, not sure exactly how to describe him. When I started looking at his family, I was sure I was seeing more than just inherited familial tendencies. But again, his chromosomes are normal.
But before we had a son with obvious issues, I never once thought anything was 'wrong' with anyone, I mean with all the soft markers I listed above that I have, I am still a successful college-educated woman, a really good athlete, a veteran, etc. My mom is successful, my husband is...
When we met with the geneticist to get DS2's testing done, they warned us that Microarrays are so sensitive now, they are picking up microscopic anomalies that no one knows how to interpret. Even in perfectly healthy "normal" people, they are finding sometimes multiple anomalies. So the geneticist warned us that unless showed a known syndrome, we shouldn't get too excited about it. Because they just don't know. They are guessing that a substantial portion of the population is walking around with genetic abnormalities and not knowing it. Maybe those people have wide spaced eyes and funky pinky toes, but what difference does it make?
So it's a fine line to walk. Even with my son's multiple system defects, the geneticist did not agree to testing until his third appt when he was 11 months old. The threshold for testing is getting rather low now, but that isn't necessarily helping the science any. Because there doesn't always seem to be consistency in the outcome. Some people with my son's exact same deletion die in their first year of life, some live but have severe mental illness. He is apparently somewhere in between...some issues, but yet he's thriving in his own way. So even with a "known" or "recognized" syndrome, we still have little idea what his future holds.
Anyway...I'm just blabbering now. What I mean to say is that if you have reason to be concerned, then yes perhaps it's worth testing. If you think that your child could benefit from early detection, then perhaps it's worth testing. Just...be prepared. Be prepared first of all for the dr to disagree and not want to do the testing. Be prepared that the testing might not show anything. Be prepared that it might show something that no one knows how to interpret. Be prepared for it to show something that is known, yet your child(ren) do not fit the mold.
