My husband and son came home with a girl's bike - would you return it?

[dbsam]

How would you handle this?

My son needed a new bike and wanted a green bike. My husband took him into the bike shop and came home with an orange bike saying the green bikes didn’t fit him properly. The orange bike was really cute; I s/h let it be but I didn’t. I went online, saw it was available in green, and called the bike shop asking if we could return it. They said yes but were not sure they could order it in green. My son and husband returned the bike came home with a more expensive aqua turquoise and white bike that looks like a girl’s bike. (Green was the prior year’s color and the bike no longer came in green.) We’ve never suggested/enforced gender specific clothing, toys, etc and I do not care if my son rides a pink bike in a tutu. However, I do not think he purchased this bike because he loves the color. I believe he wanted a new bike at that moment and bought the one that fit him. He is a very sensitive boy and will be upset when someone mentions it is a girl’s bike.

I can go back to the shop and return it – looking like a crazy family. I would need to ask for a refund or store credit since they seem to have nothing available in green to fit him. I’m not sure they would do that.

I can let it be and deal with the issue if it arises. So far none of the neighbor children have seen the bike but I am pretty sure someone will say it is a girl’s bike. At this point I can say, ‘sorry this is the bike you chose or, try to get his sister to take it since she really needs a new bike too but wanted a pink or purple bike so it wouldn’t be fair to force her to take another color. It is an expensive bike (to us - $300) so purchasing a new one and selling this one is not an option.

He is asking now to go out and ride…I’m stalling him because I am considering returning the bike.

TIA

If I decide to return it, I wouldn't tell him it is a girl's bike. I would just say he's really wanted a green bike and I think he settled for this color and I would rather him take the time to find what he really wants. (He still has his old bike to ride.)

[hermionesmum]

I don't see this as being a boy bike/girl bike thing. The store supplied you with something other than what you thought you were ordering. Take it back!

[Arduinna]

I'd just take it back, and then take him shopping yourself since he and dh can't seem to figure it out on their own.

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by hermionesmum

I don't see this as being a boy bike/girl bike thing. The store supplied you with something other than what you thought you were ordering. Take it back!

We didn't order it. My husband went in both times yesterday and purchased the bikes from the floor. It is my husband's 'fault'. I think he s/h explained better to my son that there are other shops, no need to rush, etc.

I couldn't stall my son any longer so I asked him if he wanted me to try to return it and get a green bike (I hoped to talk to the store first but they are not open yet.) He seemed relieved and started crying saying he really wanted a green bike but if they will not take it back, he will keep it. He thought he had to purchase one at that store and this was the only one that fit properly.

[Mosaic]

I can't find the link, but you should totally read the Mothering article "Purple Princess Boy Bike" if you haven't already, March-April 2010 issue #159. It's YOUR situation, to a tee!

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by Arduinna

I'd just take it back, and then take him shopping yourself since he and dh can't seem to figure it out on their own.

Yes, I am calling the bike shop this morning.
My husband is normally so good at things like this. It just never occurred to him that this color combo was probably intended for a girl and he didn't realize how much Charlie wanted a green bike.

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by Mosaic

I can't find the link, but you should totally read the Mothering article "Purple Princess Boy Bike" if you haven't already, March-April 2010 issue #159. It's YOUR situation, to a tee!

I'm going to look for it - thanks.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by dbsam

I couldn't stall my son any longer so I asked him if he wanted me to try to return it and get a green bike (I hoped to talk to the store first but they are not open yet.) He seemed relieved and started crying saying he really wanted a green bike but if they will not take it back, he will keep it. He thought he had to purchase one at that store and this was the only one that fit properly.

awwww to him. I hope you can find the green bike he wants.

[laohaire]

Can you get the orange bike back and paint it green? Just a thought.

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by laohaire

Can you get the orange bike back and paint it green? Just a thought.

My husband suggested having one of the bikes powder-coated. But I do not want to spend this much on a bike only to have it painted.

The bike shop still isn't open...I hope they will allow us to return it, again.

[Caneel]

I have no advice, just chiming in to say this is SO something that would happen in our family.

What would I do? Probably force the return of the bike and get a suitable replacement.

[nextcommercial]

I would take it back.

In October 1976 (yes, it's still fresh in my mind) I wanted a 10 speed bike. We went to the Shwinn store and my parents and the sales person talked me into a blue FIVE speed. In 1976, a five speed was not anything like a ten speed. It was an old lady's cruiser bike. It was not a cool ten speed.

I never rode it. It wasn't what I asked for, but nobody would listen to me. Instead, I rode my brother's ten speed everywhere.

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

I would take it back.

In October 1976 (yes, it's still fresh in my mind) I wanted a 10 speed bike. We went to the Shwinn store and my parents and the sales person talked me into a blue FIVE speed. In 1976, a five speed was not anything like a ten speed. It was an old lady's cruiser bike. It was not a cool ten speed.

I never rode it. It wasn't what I asked for, but nobody would listen to me. Instead, I rode my brother's ten speed everywhere.

Your post brought back memories! Maybe I am so sensitive to my son’s situation because, like you, I had bike disappointment in the early 1970’s. Around 1974 (Also October because it was my birthday present) I was ready for my first 10-speed. We always went to the Schwinn shop and bought new bikes. But one of the neighbor’s was selling a girl’s canary yellow 10-speed in 'like-new' condition. I wanted a boy’s bike (no one rode girl’s bikes) and I definitely didn’t want bright canary yellow. But I believe they were selling it for $20-$25 dollars and my parents couldn’t resist the deal. I lived with that bike until I was an adult.

[mom2happy]

Rustoleum spray paint
fast, cheap, easy- problem solved!
I wouldnt want him to go through being made fun of.
Its unfortunate of the societal norms of color preference....
but thats the way it is.
If he was not sensitive I woulnt do anything, but he is.

My ds is not shy or very sensitive. He loves to wear nailpolish (freaks my dh out who is one of those macho guys- makes me so so so mad, but thats another post)
So, he loves to wear nailpolish and when other boys say things he just says
"yeah, Im just playin around".
Actually he just asked if I will paint them sparkly pink.
Now when dh comes home and sees it, I cant post what I will say to him when he makes a face!!

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by mom2happy

Rustoleum spray paint
fast, cheap, easy- problem solved!
I wouldnt want him to go through being made fun of.
Its unfortunate of the societal norms of color preference....
but thats the way it is.
If he was not sensitive I woulnt do anything, but he is.

My ds is not shy or very sensitive. He loves to wear nailpolish (freaks my dh out who is one of those macho guys- makes me so so so mad, but thats another post)
So, he loves to wear nailpolish and when other boys say things he just says
"yeah, Im just playin around".
Actually he just asked if I will paint them sparkly pink.
Now when dh comes home and sees it, I cant post what I will say to him when he makes a face!!

I really don't want to paint a $300 new bike...I called the store and am supposed to go in and talk to the owner this afternoon.

My son is VERY sensitive and very worried about what others think. He used to love wearing headbands and still loves wearing jewelry. But he's switched to boyish jewelry and no longer wears the headbands because someone made fun of him. I wish our society wasn't like this; but also hate to see him so upset. I'm always walking a tightrope between wanting him to be who he is and wanting to protect him from the cruelty of others. My husband is not a macho guy...he liked the turquoise and white bike!

[neptunemama]

I'd return it also. Color matters to a kid (and to many adults). We just bought a new bike for our older dd. She's now riding an adult size bike and the colors generally are less "girly" for women's bikes. Dh and I are big bike fans and look at the material, components etc... Color is not on our radar. We found a couple of bikes that would fit the kind of riding our dd wants to do and she vetoed them b/c they didn't come in a color she liked. Dh could not understand it but I did. I knew she wouldn't ride it if it didn't feel like "her" bike, which for her meant one in a color she liked. Anyway it took awhile but we found a bike that fit both what she wanted/needed wrt biking style in a color she really likes and she's very happy to ride it. That's the key. If they like the bike they'll ride it which is the point of a bike.

[ASusan]

Yeah, even at 12, I LOVED the color I picked and would still love it today if it hadn't been stolen when I was 23.

[Caneel]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

I would take it back.

In October 1976 (yes, it's still fresh in my mind) I wanted a 10 speed bike. We went to the Shwinn store and my parents and the sales person talked me into a blue FIVE speed. In 1976, a five speed was not anything like a ten speed. It was an old lady's cruiser bike. It was not a cool ten speed.

I never rode it. It wasn't what I asked for, but nobody would listen to me. Instead, I rode my brother's ten speed everywhere.

Originally Posted by dbsam

Your post brought back memories! Maybe I am so sensitive to my son’s situation because, like you, I had bike disappointment in the early 1970’s. Around 1974 (Also October because it was my birthday present) I was ready for my first 10-speed. We always went to the Schwinn shop and bought new bikes. But one of the neighbor’s was selling a girl’s canary yellow 10-speed in 'like-new' condition. I wanted a boy’s bike (no one rode girl’s bikes) and I definitely didn’t want bright canary yellow. But I believe they were selling it for $20-$25 dollars and my parents couldn’t resist the deal. I lived with that bike until I was an adult.

OMG, I completely relate to these stories!

My parents also could never resist a deal, to the point that it caused me heartache and shame. (kids are so sensitive) Never riding the old lady bike? Yep, BTDT with a bike and other sports equipment.

Except in my case, they pushed me towards a very cheap 10 speed that never really rode well, the gears would pop and grind, the chain would come off. The kicker was, I bought it with my own money and still was pushed (forced) to buy the cheapest one possible.

[mom2happy]

Originally Posted by dbsam

I really don't want to paint a $300 new bike...I called the store and am supposed to go in and talk to the owner this afternoon.

My son is VERY sensitive and very worried about what others think. He used to love wearing headbands and still loves wearing jewelry. But he's switched to boyish jewelry and no longer wears the headbands because someone made fun of him. I wish our society wasn't like this; but also hate to see him so upset. I'm always walking a tightrope between wanting him to be who he is and wanting to protect him from the cruelty of others. My husband is not a macho guy...he liked the turquoise and white bike!

I didnt realize it costs so much. I wouldnt paint it either.
We usually get the cheap or used bikes for like $50 because the kids grow out of the bike so fast.
I hope you can exchange it.

[dbsam]

Originally Posted by mom2happy

I didnt realize it costs so much. I wouldnt paint it either.
We usually get the cheap or used bikes for like $50 because the kids grow out of the bike so fast.
I hope you can exchange it.

yes...another reason not to send my husband...he spent more than I would have. They used their first bikes 3.5 years and I'm expecting them to get ~4years out of these. I thought we could get them for $200 or less. My son rides a lot and once my daughter is comfortable w/out training wheels I'm hoping we can all ride often. (My husband and I met via biking but we've been off our bikes for years.)