Sad, slightly distressed dog

[TanyaS]

I am hoping some of you can help me help my dog. Dusty is a small dog who has always been a little bit needy. Two years ago, we adopted another dog, Zoey, about the same size and they were best friends from the start. They slept in the crate together at night and when we left the house. They played all the time and went outside together each day. Two weeks ago, Zoey was hit by a car and her injuries were too severe so she was euthanized. It was an incredibly sad thing for all of us, but it seems that Dusty is taking it the hardest. The first night he let out this pitiful cry from his crate across the house. Dh stumbled to the couch, half asleep and the dog quieted down. Dh fell asleep on the couch and the dog didn't bark or cry all night. The next couple of nights were the same thing, but by the third night we put the crate in our room so we could all get some sleep.

We do not permit the dog to be in our room. We have a cat and that was his safe haven from the dogs. Dusty will pee on things in our room to mark his territory, so needless to say we had to put a stop to that. Obviously we cannot allow him to be in there unsupervised. The problem is he is coming in more often after having his crate in there. So last night we returned the crate to it's normal location in the living room. The barking and crying was awful. I ended up on the couch this time.

I am hoping some of you have some ideas to help me help this dog out. Getting another dog is not a possibility right now. I think it's a bad case of separation anxiety but I don't know how to fix it. Dh has wanted to rehome him for a while (many issues) and I think this will make it a priority for him.

[gumby74]

Sometimes when there are two dogs who are close to each other, one of them is more dominant than the other and is the "leader" of the two. Was that the case with your Zoey and Dusty? If so, when the more dominant one is no longer around....the other one can feel lost and may start marking and having other behavior problems because that dog is trying to figure out where and how they fit. What I have noticed that works with some of the dogs I have worked with, is to take the surviving dog through training again. Giving the dog something to feel good about and confidence will also allow the dog to have a better sense of where the dog "fits" again. It also might help with some of the undesired behaviors. Unfortunately, I fear that if this dog is re-homed and some of the underlying behaviors aren't dealt with.....the dog will just take those behaviors with him and they will get worse because he will be even more stressed. Hang in there and I am sorry you even have to think about all of this right now!

[TanyaS]

Thanks, Tricia.

Dusty was the more dominant of the two. But he also thinks he's the alpha dog in ANY group of dogs. I feel the same way about rehoming him right now. It seems really cruel to do him right now.

Before we got Zoey, he used to follow me around the house everywhere. It's happening again and it's almost like he's desperate to be close to me.

I will have to look up a book from the library on training and spend some time with him. Training classes are not an option right now due to finances.

[Ola_]

I agree that rehoming would be just adding more stress for him. Perhaps some extra exercise and training would help keep him busy and expand some of that stress/energy in a positive way? Teach him a trick or some new commands - doesn't matter what it is, as long as you make it fun. Also spending extra time going on walks or exploring areas of interest (squirrels? other dogs? big fields? places with lots of people? whatever is fun for him) would help too.

Is he okay at night without a crate? That may be one thing to try if possible (assuming no destruction or housebreaking issues outside of your bedroom). Good luck!

[TanyaS]

A few days after our other dog died, we went on a previously planned camping trip and friends kept Dusty for us. They had another dog and two children and he really had a fun time from what we heard. We are going out of town again in about a week. This time he will stay with another friend who has three small dogs. So he will have some companionship that he is used to for a bit. I will try to incorporate learning new tricks in my activities with the kids.

When the weather cools down, I can have the kids take him for walks on our property. Taking walks with the dog down our street is not a good idea. We live out of the city limits (semi-rural) and people just let their dogs roam freely. They are large and mostly leave us alone, but if our dog is with us I couldn't guarantee anything.

[journeymom]

As far as getting uninterrupted sleep is concerned, can you simply move the crate into your room every night? Take it back out in the morning and shut the bedroom door so he's not tempted to go mark anything in there. Yes, it would be a hassle to move the crate twice a day, but it's compassionate and preserves your sleep. Sleep is precious!

I second the obedience training idea. Get him busy, engage his brain and reinforce good behavior. We all feel better when we're stimulated and busy.

[TanyaS]

I already moved the crate back there and we will keep him there for a bit. My kids don't CIO, and neither does the dog. The only time he is in the crate is when we leave the house, so we will just work with him for now. His command to go to the crate is "go to bed" and he automatically goes to the living room.

He's going to have to deal with indoor stimulation for now. 100+ degrees = my face melts off! He is very much an indoor dog anyway and he prefers to be in when the weather is extreme.

[TanyaS]

A thought I just had...do you all think one of those stuffed animals with the heartbeat would be soothing for him? I was wondering if it would work to keep him calm when we leave the house.

[gumby74]

That makes me wonder about the bear with the heartbeat?? I suppose it's worth the try.....as long as he isn't a chewer I I really think you are on the right path and it's just going to take time and everything you are going to implement to make things better. What's the animal shelter system like in your area?? I know our shelter sometimes holds free training sessions and activities. Also, do you have access to a dog park??

BTW: I love the idea that you don't let the dog CIO either