Thoughts on an allowance

[mom2happy]

I dont know how I feel about giving an allowance.
I know I dont want it to be for doing chores, because I want that to just be a family thing that has nothing to do with money.

I have a 7 and 5 yr old that are constantly asking for things. I almost always say no and they dont carry on about it, but get disappointed and ask me why.
I started telling them they can buy this or that when they save enough money. They both went into their piggy banks and have been spending it ever since.
The 7 yr old thinks out her purchases and only buys what she wants.
The 5 yr old is getting there but doesnt quite grasp that if he spends it then it will be gone.
Having them so close in age though, I couldnt just give to the 7 yr old.

Also, I think about if there was a major behavioral thing- would I want to say You wont be getting your allowance this week?? Then I would be rewarding good behavior with money and that doesnt seem right.

I guess Im looking for moms of kids older and around this age to see what works for them.

[nova22]

I have a 7yo and 6yo and we're considering allowance for the 7yo only. I think 7 is a good age where the child is old enough to really understand the concept of money. I don't think you should feel pressured to give both children an allowance because they're close in age - you can explain to the 5yo that when he is 7, he can get an allowance too.

I agree that it shouldn't be tied to chores. We help in our family because we want to be a good contribution. I don't want them to grow up thinking that anything they do will be rewarded monetarily and avoid volunteer work/donations because there is no tangible reward. You clean your room so you don't step on toys and break them when you get up at night to go to the bathroom; you put your dishes in the sink so you have a clean plate for dinner tomorrow.

We do plan to revoke allowances if there is a major behavioral issue, but you don't have to make it a punishment, per se, or a reward for good behavior. For example, if my son breaks something that belongs to me because he was being careless/disobedient, he has to pay for it. That is a direct, natural consequence to his actions. Today he broke a little ceramic cup from a tea set because he was cleaning the kitchen (without being asked) and the cup was on the counter. When he was carrying it to put it away he dropped it on the hardwood floor and the handle fell off. I didn't hide my disappointment that the cup broke but made it clear that he was not at fault, then I showed him how we could fix it with glue and it would be almost as good as new. We have a rule against throwing balls in the house. If DS had been throwing the ball in the house and I reminded him of our rule but he continued, and then broke the cup, he would have been wholly responsible for it. It was an act of the will, not a mistake, to throw the ball in the house. Therefore, his allowance for the following week would be used to pay for the cup.

For younger kids, I will allow them to raise money by doing extra chores. If they already have certain chores, doing those ones don't merit a monetary reward. They also can't go around the house cleaning everything they see and then come to me asking for money - it has to be agreed on by DH or myself before they do it so we can agree on what they need to do and how much they'll earn for chores. Recently I allowed one of my kids to do extra chores, gave $.50 - $1 for each extra chores, and agreed to pay for half of the toy myself. It went really well.

I know some people make rules about the allowance and I might do the same....45% goes in the piggy bank for whatever you want, 10% is for donating to the church or whatever organization you support, 45% goes into savings (or work the percentages however you want). This is a good way to introduce what REALLY happens when you get paid - you don't get to run off and spend the whole thing - and it's a good way to teach how to put money into savings so you have a cushion if something comes up.

[Mpenny1001]

We started giving DD an allowance shortly after she turned 5 and it is for the sole purpose of helping her learn how to manage money (and we present it to her in that way). It is not tied to chores, because chores are simply expected of everyone in the household. If she's looking to earn extra money she can help out with certain big projects (e.g. washing windows or painting the garage door, etc).

We do not take away her allowance for behavioral issues because we deal with those in other ways.

We give her $3/week and $1 of that has to go into the bank, because we want her to learn that you can't just spend every penny you get.

I am actually very impressed with her money management skills. The very first thing she did was save up for several months to buy a $30 item and she is currently saving up for a $100 item. She bought one $5 junky toy that she now regrets, but I think that was a good lesson in really thinking about what things are worth to you.

[lovesdaffodils]

My DS started getting an allowance when he turned 5. It's not tied to chores or behavior. It's helping him learn how to save and manage his money, and when he asks for things (constantly!), I can tell him to save his money for it, rather than just saying no to everything.

[Carley]

I guess I'm an odd duck, but DD has been getting allowance since she was 3. Whenever she's asked for something I've told her to use her money. Who knows if it's related or not, but she's pretty stingy! She rarely asks for things now. She likes to look & muse about in stores, but when I ask her if she wants to spend her money on it she says something like "No, but it's so pretty!"

She has money jars & a wallet, her wallet being her disposable income. She has one money jar for long term savings (Horse Camp next year), one for general disposable savings and one for charity.

She gets an $8 allowance/week, $2 goes to charity & the rest she divies up the way she chooses, as long as something goes into each jar.

Some weeks she puts more than the $2 into charity, especially when she's in preschool, where they have a different charitable cause the children participate in each month. The children bring money for donations (e.g. Heifer Intl) or spend their money (e.g. socks for the homeless) and deliver their donations at circle time, so there's social & psychological incentive to be charitable. Lately she's been putting it in the offering plate at church.

Some weeks she puts more into disposable savings (if she's saving for something specific, like our upcomming trip to Disneyland) and sometimes she puts some disposable money into Horse Camp.

Regardless, her disposable wallet money is her to spend as she chooses... even if I don't "agree" with her choice (like her bagillionth crappy horse from Value Village). The only rule we have with disposable income is that for whatever comes in, something comes out.

She rarely spends all her disposable income in a week, especially with our aforementioned Disneyland vacation comming up. The last time she bought something it was a houseplant for her room that she named "Tommy"

I dunno It's not tied to chores, it's just the money she gets as a member of the family - like me. Things might be different with #2 - we'll just go with what works.

[hermionesmum]

For the couple of years or so both of my girls, (8 and 6 now) have been getting £1 per week. If I have to take them to work with me, e.g. in the school holidays, they can sometimes earn a bit more helping out. (I did once get very cross and say they would loose 10p every time I didn't hear them say thank-you to the lollipop lady on their way to school, which was very effective!), but generally I mean it to be an unconditional gift. I also have the philosophy that it needed to be a small enough amount that I can spare it and it doesn't matter if they make mistakes/spend it on stuff I consider a waste.

After our holiday we will be upping dd1 to £12 per month, and giving her responsibility for keeping a mobile phone topped up for emergencies and buying supplies for the hamster she'll be getting. Little one has, by now, got the idea that sometimes big sister gets responsibilities and privileges first and can cope with the idea that it'll be something for her to look forward to.
I'm terrified, but I'll let you know how it goes!

[fyrwmn]

dd started getting an allowance when she was 2yrs. we did it to teach her about money, since dh and iboth do direct deposit and use our debit cards. i didn't want her thinking it was a magic card with endless money. she gets $ per year she is old a week, so right now $4. she usually chooses to save it and put it into her bank account. she sits down with dh and counts it every week when she gets "paid" and it's also been helping with her counting skills. she does have chores, but her allowance isn't tied to them (or behavior) , as chores are just an every day part of being part of the family, and behavior issues are dealt with separately.

[lisalulu]

We don't do allowance. I will, however, pay him for doing extra special things for me if he really wants to earn some money. So I think I've had him pull weeds for me and wash some inside windows when they were bad. His interest in it seems to come and go and I've been able to get him to put portions of it in the bank.

[One_Girl]

I give my dd a dollar of allowance every week to use on toys or whatever she wants (I buy the books still though). My budget is tight so I don't have a lot to give, but I also want her to have to save for a while and not have enough to buy new things all the time. I like taking the responsibility to buy her toys off of me and putting it on to her because it is one more thing that I don't have to control. When she wants a toy she has to think about whether she has enough money for it before she can get it. She generally saves her money very well and thinks out her purchases and has been like this since she was very young. There have been a few times in the last year when she spent a lot of her money on a toy that was a poorly thought out impulse and she was sad to see she didn't have enough for the things she really wanted, and had wanted for a while. This has helped her to be even more careful with her spending.

I don't take away allowance or activities for negative behavior (though we do leave an activity if negative behavior happens while we are there). I don't think it is right to dangle things over my dd's head just to take them away because her behavior annoys me. We generally talk about negative behavior and the expectations so dd can plan how to meet the expectations in the future.