So my 22 month old has recently started testing my patience. She cut 4 canine's in 2 days, had a cold (then a fever several days after the cold ended), and the heat here has been in the 30's. So between that and her now 8 week old brother, things are afoot in our house.
She's been much happier over the last few days, but this is how the past few months have gone. She's never been good at leaving me alone, and she's still somewhat non verbal (although she does sign).
Lately she's been asking for something (usually food), then when I give it to her she'll get upset (doesn't want that), throw herself down to the floor in a very dramatic, and very short lived whine (she's never really thrown a tantrum). She's also taken to throwing things that she doesn't want. She asks for an apple, I give it to her, she throws it in a mad fit. Bananas were easy... I always either peeled them wrong, or she didn't want it cut, or whatever. Everything else, she flips out over.
She follows me EVERYWHERE, and is always on my heels so when I turn around to change direction, I slam her to the ground (accidentally, of course). She's basically just demanding much more time than I'm able to give her.
But the WHINING. OMG, THE WHINING! It's a very FAKE cry, that doesn't stop. And it's for everything.
My good friend (who is more like family to my daughter than a friend of mine) babysat while I had an appointment. When I got back, she told me how sassy she was. She would wait until my friend was looking at her to tell her to stop whatever she was doing (crayons up the nose, feeding cheerios to the dog, etc), and when they would make eye contact, my daughter would throw whatever it was to the ground, then look at my friend again with this look of "take that" on her face.
She did this fake cry for 2 solid hours last night before this happened... First she didn't want to eat (eating is another problem - she asks for stuff, then refuses to eat it), and ended up throwing her plate after she asked him to cut up an orange for her. She threw her plate twice and the second time it him him on the head. He shouted her name (sternly, not yelling), and picked her up and placed her on the other side of the kitchen and said "You stand over here! Do not throw dinnerware at daddy's head!" (which made me laugh, but I digress). She IMMEDIATELY stopped whining, he put her cut up oranges on the table and went to fold laundry, and a few seconds later she went off to play with a toy by herself (happily, might I add). A few minutes after that, she took her oranges to her dad, sat on his lap while he folded, and ate the whole thing. She was happy right down to bedtime.
I've been trying to be as patient and understanding as I can possibly be, but I really just want to say "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE UNTIL YOU DECIDE TO KNOCK IT OFF".
The whining and clinging off of me is one thing, but the "I want now but will change my mind when I get it" thing is another.
Does anyone have any tips for me on how to stop this? With the new baby (who btw, has 3 holes in his heart, so I'm stressing out enough as it is), it's becoming harder and harder to do this natural parenting thing.
She's a lovely child, but MAN, can she ever be challenging.
Edited to add: Her dad NEVER raises his tone of voice with her, so I'm sure that's why what he did was effective. ME however, am frustrated out of my mind so I'm sure she's picking up on that, making it worse. Had I done what he did, that would have sent her into an actual cry and not just a fake one.
She's been much happier over the last few days, but this is how the past few months have gone. She's never been good at leaving me alone, and she's still somewhat non verbal (although she does sign).
Lately she's been asking for something (usually food), then when I give it to her she'll get upset (doesn't want that), throw herself down to the floor in a very dramatic, and very short lived whine (she's never really thrown a tantrum). She's also taken to throwing things that she doesn't want. She asks for an apple, I give it to her, she throws it in a mad fit. Bananas were easy... I always either peeled them wrong, or she didn't want it cut, or whatever. Everything else, she flips out over.
She follows me EVERYWHERE, and is always on my heels so when I turn around to change direction, I slam her to the ground (accidentally, of course). She's basically just demanding much more time than I'm able to give her.
But the WHINING. OMG, THE WHINING! It's a very FAKE cry, that doesn't stop. And it's for everything.
My good friend (who is more like family to my daughter than a friend of mine) babysat while I had an appointment. When I got back, she told me how sassy she was. She would wait until my friend was looking at her to tell her to stop whatever she was doing (crayons up the nose, feeding cheerios to the dog, etc), and when they would make eye contact, my daughter would throw whatever it was to the ground, then look at my friend again with this look of "take that" on her face.
She did this fake cry for 2 solid hours last night before this happened... First she didn't want to eat (eating is another problem - she asks for stuff, then refuses to eat it), and ended up throwing her plate after she asked him to cut up an orange for her. She threw her plate twice and the second time it him him on the head. He shouted her name (sternly, not yelling), and picked her up and placed her on the other side of the kitchen and said "You stand over here! Do not throw dinnerware at daddy's head!" (which made me laugh, but I digress). She IMMEDIATELY stopped whining, he put her cut up oranges on the table and went to fold laundry, and a few seconds later she went off to play with a toy by herself (happily, might I add). A few minutes after that, she took her oranges to her dad, sat on his lap while he folded, and ate the whole thing. She was happy right down to bedtime.
I've been trying to be as patient and understanding as I can possibly be, but I really just want to say "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE UNTIL YOU DECIDE TO KNOCK IT OFF".
The whining and clinging off of me is one thing, but the "I want now but will change my mind when I get it" thing is another.
Does anyone have any tips for me on how to stop this? With the new baby (who btw, has 3 holes in his heart, so I'm stressing out enough as it is), it's becoming harder and harder to do this natural parenting thing.
She's a lovely child, but MAN, can she ever be challenging.
Edited to add: Her dad NEVER raises his tone of voice with her, so I'm sure that's why what he did was effective. ME however, am frustrated out of my mind so I'm sure she's picking up on that, making it worse. Had I done what he did, that would have sent her into an actual cry and not just a fake one.
I think we do best when we respond to whatever it is that our specific child needs in each specific case. Some kids like a back rub, or talking. Some kids just need a quiet, calm parent sitting close. Some kids want eye contact, some kids might turn their heads away. 
Mine always did well with gentle rubbing and me softly saying things like, "There, there. Poor dear. There, there. I know. Poor little moo. I'm here, I'm here." I also find that a look of concern/empathy on my face can convey a lot and help the child know that he is being heard w/out having to add more talking/touching/input if that's already too much.
