Ok, Seriously? Long vent/rant about scary situation with DS

[Super~Single~Mama]

Ok, so my son was acting weird on Monday and Tuesday, and on Tuesday his daycare took his temp and it was 101.6 in his ear. They called me and told me I shoudl take him to the ped - so I called and made appointment, and left. We got to the ped (after walking 1.5miles in HOT weather), and DS had a seizure (OMG scariest thing EVER!). I freaked out, couldn't call my ex - since he was taking the NYS bar exam Tuesday and Wednesday this week. I called his brother instead, so that if Ex called his brother, he would know that he needed to call me ASAP.

So we were transferred by ambulance to childrens hospital, and as soon as we got there, I was still on the stretcher holding ds, he had another seizure. Again, scariest thing in the entire world. I was being wheeled through the ER very fast and there were tears just streaming down my face. I looked like a mess - and I was one! Then of course they took ds and surrounded him with people to try and get an IV in him, and I couldn't see him and had no idea what was going on - it was awful. I was crying, and thank god, the EMT from the ambulance was telling me what was going on, and told me when his seizure stopped. It was terrible. Then they took his temp and it was 105. OMG!

Anyway, so then I was on the phone talking to ex's sister and brother telling them where I was so they could relay the message once Ex got out of the bar exam. Ugh. BAD timing!!

So then we spent the night - they thought it was most likely a fibroid seizure (fever related and normal in his age group - but still absolutely terrifying), but since he had 2 they wanted neurology to see him the next morning. DS of course felt like crap and so he didn't sleep at all that night, and therefore neither did I. I couldn't even lay next to him since I didn't fit in the crib and there wasn't a bed that we could lay in together.

So I thought that as soon as the Bar exam was over, ex would get back to his house (he couldn't take his phone with him since its against the rules - so he didn't have a phone all day) and call me, and then come relieve me for a while so that I could nap. WRONG! He went out and GOT A DRINK! Umm....wait - your CHILD is in the HOSPITAL and you go our for a DRINK without CALLING!! Don't even start to make excuses for him either - you can't convince me EVER that all of Manhattan is void of pay-phones and people with phones he could use. Seriously. Thats just not true. Ugh. So then I finally talk to him, AFTER we'd been discharged, and told him that I needed him to come get us so that we could leave (I didn't have a carseat since we left directly from the Dr's office, and I didn't get home at all to get one, and all my friends with babies don't have seats that fit DS).

Ex said that he'd be right there, and he got there pretty quick. Then I was telling him what was going on, and he was like, "Oh, I'm glad I got that drink since its not like you got discharged hours ago and were just waiting for me. I would have just been here waiting around until we got the papers."

Umm...NO! You could have come to SEE YOU BABY!! Who had 2 SEIZURES the day before. AAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT cool! I'm so mad.

Ok, I'm done.

[hotmamacita]

[Halfasianmomma]

Originally Posted by thyra

"Oh, I'm glad I got that drink since its not like you got discharged hours ago and were just waiting for me. I would have just been here waiting around until we got the papers."

So, like, if you give me his address can I drive down from Montreal to come slap him for you?

[StephandOwen]

I'm so sorry mama. I have nothing to say about that UAV at all.

Unfortunately I've been in your place a few times with ds (not with seizures, but other scary medical things). DS once fell into the toilet and, long story short, cut the base of his penis where it meets the abdomen. He ended up in the ER with stitches and surgical glue. Another time he had a severe allergic reaction (think swelling and hives everywhere including swelling of the mouth and throat- he now carries an epi-pen). That landed him in the ER for awhile until they could get it under control. Another time he was extremely ill (fever of over 106!), rushed to the ER, admitted for 4 days doing every test they could think of to determine what was going on (ultrasounds, ct scans, blood tests, etc). Earlier this year ds had surgery and, due to some complications afterward, was re-admitted for 3 days.

Through all this, ex has never once visited him in the hospital (when we lived near him), he's never once called me to ask how ds was doing. He's never once sent ds a card or called to talk to him and let him know he was thinking about him. Nothing. I don't even try to get ahold of ex anymore when something happens to ds because it's impossible. If, by some miracle, I were to get ahold of him it wouldn't matter. He doesn't care and has shown that time and time again.

I hope your ds is doing better now. (((HUGS))) to you and that sweet baby.

[Avani]

How scary! I hope your boy is on the mend. I know that whole thing can be shocking and line of traumatizing. My daughter had that once too, ambulance, neurologists the whole thing amd wow so scary. But it did only happen once so I pray your boy is well and quickly and that never happens again. I have no words for 6our ex, this is disturbing beyond all belief.

[meemee]

wow what a traumatising experience.

i used to be a febrile seizure kid and i remember my mom talking about how fearful seh was whenever i got fever. i think i had the seizure maybe once or twice in my life.

i just dont get it. i really dont. and steph i real all that and i just dont get it. my brain just cant handle how they can be so indifferent.

[violet_]

So sorry you had such a scary experience! I hope your little boy is feeling better!

I will say, and I hope this doesn't count as "making excuses" for your ex -- I don't know your ex -- but I will say this is classically male behavior. He was stressed over his exam and then his baby is sick, so he just shut down and got a drink. I'm not saying I agree with it, but I am saying it sounds typical and could mean that he *does* care -- which is why he shut down, rather than that he doesn't care. As in, maybe a great dad drops everything, calls and comes straight to the hospital (this is what my DH would do), but if I were writing a screenplay and wanted a believable everyday male figure, I'd have him head straight out for a drink.

Or, of course, he could be a total jerk who is indifferent to his own kid. Search me. I've never met him.

I hope your little one is doing better.

[MissLotus]

Your poor boy, and poor you! I can't imagine how scary that must have been.

Well, your ex is completely useless (and even so, probably thinks of himself as the father of the year), but just remind yourself that that's why you're not together any more.

[Goodmom2008]

Febrile seizures are common with the rapid rise or fall of a fever, especially in small children. My 8 year old had one on her first birthday (literally). And then she had three of them in the month of her second birthday, she hasn't had one since then. The good news is that they do outgrow these.

But I did do a piggyback of Motrin/Tylenol (with her pediatrician's recommendaton) as neither one alone was enough to control her fever from rapidly rising when she was sick. I don't have to do that anymore.

It is the one of the scariest thing in the world to watch. Fortunately, febrile seizures don't do any damage other than scaring the parents.

[Theia]

Oh my Mama! I am sorry you and your DS experienced that. How scary! I can't believe his father didn't at least call, even if he absolutely had to go have a drink. At least he could have called to find out how DS was doing.

I hope you and DS are both feeling much better now.

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Many hhugs to you, Thyra, and your little boy.

Hopfeully on the flip side, this will look REALLY bad for your X during your custody battle. I say for SURE talk with your lawyer about using this little daisy to your advantage........

[Phoenix~Mama]

Originally Posted by thyra

Ex said that he'd be right there, and he got there pretty quick. Then I was telling him what was going on, and he was like, "Oh, I'm glad I got that drink since its not like you got discharged hours ago and were just waiting for me. I would have just been here waiting around until we got the papers."

<-- Like seriously, this is me sitting at my desk right now. OMG! And I thought my ex came out with some gems, but this is hands down the most UAV thing I have seen coming from a "parent" in some time.

I am so sorry, thyra!! For everything! Keep an eye on those fevers and seizures and trust your Mama instinct about always taking him to the docs. I know you would, but this is a sensitive topic for me. I don't want to scare you with details. But know I'm praying for you and your LO. Hope that was a one time thing and he is all good now.

As for your UAV... UGH!!! Speechless... seriously...

[Super~Single~Mama]

Thanks everyone for the hugs, it's good to know I'm not the only person who thinks that would be the scariest thing EVER. I was crying during both seizures, and was so upset all day yesterday - it was just awful.

Thankfully, DS is much better now. He's still not totally himself, but his personality is back, and he's doing better. He had a fever again last night, but I gave him motrin and it went right down. Hopefully thats the last of the motrin for him!

[TnMsMama]

So glad he's doing better! So sorry your ex is ... less than helpful (to put it mildly).

Went through something similar w/ my ex and it helps to just lower your expectations and DON'T call them when things go wrong. Find somebody else to count on, build your own village.