What's a good age for baby #1 to be before you start on baby #2

[sunset01]

Dh and I currently have a 5 month old. We were thinking about starting on baby number 2 when dd turns 10 months old. We want them to be close in age. Am I being realistic to want to try for baby 2 so soon or should I wait? Any advice is welcome. Thanks in advance!

[TnMsMama]

I have a 10 month old, a 5 yr old and am 6 wks pregnant with #3. I'm freakin' exhausted. Breastfeeding the little one and being preggo is wearing me out. I'm glad my babies will be close in age but the next 7 months are basically going to suck.

That's my cheerful, upbeat 2 cents LOL.

[VillageMom6]

There are pros and cons to every child spacing.

I've gotten pregnant again when my youngest was five months old. I've gotten pregnant again when my youngest was six years old.

I loved having babies close together. Then I needed a break and I loved having several years until the next one.

Follow your heart and go where the spirit leads. Good luck!

[hildare]

We've been thinking about this. I actually went to a preconception visit with my ob/gyn about it (we had problems before dd). DD is 9 mos. old.

The ob said that the medical party line was 9 mos between birth and a conception was what they 'like to see' and 6 months was an acceptable minimum with a c-birth or otherwise in his opinion. Physically your body can handle 6 mos. between in most cases.
If you're nursing, also, you may not be ovulating. this dr. said that with 28 day cycles and breastfeeding you likely were (we're still having 35 day cycles which he said were most likely not ovulatory... or at least that's what i think he said)
He said that your milk supply does tend to decrease when you're around 4 months pregnant and some people don't nurse after that, but i know several people who tandem and nursed through a pregnancy, so I would maybe take that advice a little less seriously. Just something to think about if you're planning to nurse your current little one until age 2 or more... it can be done, but I do shudder when I remember how the first 3 months of pregnancy wiped me out. Then again, I'm an older mom.

Emotionally, and this is my own personal deal which may be different for you, i WANT two children very close in age.. my own age is also a factor, as is the previous problems we had.
I don't think there's a universal good or bad spacing, it's just what you want and what will work; the physical limitations aren't necessarily set in stone either, but if you wait till 10 months, you're good with those, anyway.

[LadyCatherine185]

Personally, I would wait until the one year mark. For me breastfeeding for at LEAST the first year was very important. And my milk dried up when getting pregnant with this one. Luckily, DS was 18 months old and already eating tons of solids at the time. I am excited for them to be close in age, but if we decide to have a 3rd, we will definitely be waiting until baby #2 is STTN in his own bed without any help, and is finished nursing or at least heading in that direction. Being pregnant and chasing around a very active toddler who doesn't sleep isn't fun.

[texmati]

I'd also wait until you were comfortable not nursing. It's heartbreaking to wean before you or your dc is ready. Trust me. It's happening to me now and it's just plum awful.

[tabrizia]

I waited till after both mine were a year old, because I wanted to make sure they both made it to at least a year breastfeeding. I do expect to tandem, but if DD decides to wean during the pregnancy at least she will have had over 1 year of nursing before that happens.

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by texmati

I'd also wait until you were comfortable not nursing. It's heartbreaking to wean before you or your dc is ready. Trust me. It's happening to me now and it's just plum awful.

This is my plan bc I can't IMAGINE having to wean dd Also, I want to enjoy my babies as BABIES. I am in no rush to skip past the baby stage so quickly I want about 2.5-3 year age gap if I can

[SilverFish]

Originally Posted by Lauren31

This is my plan bc I can't IMAGINE having to wean dd Also, I want to enjoy my babies as BABIES. I am in no rush to skip past the baby stage so quickly I want about 2.5-3 year age gap if I can

potentially having to wean before 12-18 months is just heartbreaking to me. even if i wanted kids really close in age (i don't, for other reasons) that would alone be enough to make me want to spread them out. my mom weaned me at 8 months so she could get pregnant with my sister, and now nursing my 5 month old, i'm actually really upset that she did that. i know you don't HAVE to, and lots of people tandem with no problems, there's no way to know if your milk will continue through or if you'll even be able to physically/emotionally handle nursing through pregnancy.

[Knitting Mama]

I want to have #2 very soon as well (Cecilia is 4 months old). Some women are able to nurse right through pregnancy and then tandem nurse, and while I am not counting on that, it would be a nice bonus. I have a low supply and Cecilia takes supplemented milk (donated breast milk) via an SNS for now, so I would want to wait until she is comfortably taking a cup at least. So hopefully when she's around 9 months or so I will be ovulating again and we can get goin'!

[kayabrink]

Apparently, for my dh, the magical age was five YEARS old. But, I felt ready after ds turned one year old (and that is, incidentally, when I became fertile again). However, in retrospect, I would have been heartbroken to wean ds. Nursing during the toddler years and into the terrible threes (worse than the alleged terrible twos, in my opinion) was essential to keeping our relationship (ds and I) on an even keel. So, knowing what I now know, not before baby one was two and a half. That's me, though. Many successfully have MUCH closer spacing.

[annettemarie]

I really like my children being 2 1/2-3 years apart. Each child got at least 2 full years of breastfeeding and most of them sort of weaned on their own while I was pregnant. They also managed to be out of diapers by the time the new baby came along. More than 3 years, and they get a little too used to being the "baby". Daniel is in for a world of shock when the twins are born, LOL!

[love4bob]

I like mine closer together. We got pregnant with dd2 when dd1 was 10 months old, and dd3 was an oops when dd2 was 5 months old. I wasn't breast feeding however, so that wasn't an issue for me.

[YayJennie]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

Personally, I would wait until the one year mark. For me breastfeeding for at LEAST the first year was very important. And my milk dried up when getting pregnant with this one. Luckily, DS was 18 months old and already eating tons of solids at the time. I am excited for them to be close in age, but if we decide to have a 3rd, we will definitely be waiting until baby #2 is STTN in his own bed without any help, and is finished nursing or at least heading in that direction. Being pregnant and chasing around a very active toddler who doesn't sleep isn't fun.

I second really think about breastfeeding. I specifically waited to get pregnant again until my son was a year, even though I wanted babes really closely spaced. It was just too important to me to breastfeed for the first year. And my son weaned at 14 months, so we did nurse while pregnant and I didn't have any problems, but my supply was definitely lower.

It is exhausting chasing a toddler around while pregnant, and you do have to keep things like sleep and nursing in mind, but in the end, I think you'll know what's right for you. Good luck

[shells_n_cheese]

We got pregnant with #2 when #1 was 18 months old (and this was after 1 yr of TTC... we originally wanted them even CLOSER together. Oy). They were 27 months apart. Honestly, I wish we would have waited until DS was 2yrs. old to even start TTC. A lot could be the fact that #2 was (is) very, very high needs. DS took DD's arrival very badly. It was an extrememly rough first year being a mother of 2 under 2 1/2. I would NEVER have them that close together again.

If we have #3, I used to think about TTC after #2 turned 2 years old. But now, I am leaning more towards TTC after she turns 3.

[Tattooed Hand]

Originally Posted by shells_n_cheese

We got pregnant with #2 when #1 was 18 months old (and this was after 1 yr of TTC... we originally wanted them even CLOSER together. Oy). They were 27 months apart. Honestly, I wish we would have waited until DS was 2yrs. old to even start TTC. A lot could be the fact that #2 was (is) very, very high needs. DS took DD's arrival very badly. It was an extrememly rough first year being a mother of 2 under 2 1/2. I would NEVER have them that close together again.

If we have #3, I used to think about TTC after #2 turned 2 years old. But now, I am leaning more towards TTC after she turns 3.

Sears says that parents of high needs babies usually want to wait 3 years before getting pregnant. DD is 7.5 months old and really high needs and I totally concur. Originally I had thought to get preg again when she was around 18 months old, but now there is no way that is going to happen...

I think it's important, as OP have pointed out to ask yourself how you feel about being able to breastfeed - I read somewhere something like 70% of women lose or have a drastic drop in supply, among other things - as well as other stuff like how demanding your baby is and how being pregnant is for you.

[Nicole730]

If you are nursing, I say wait until you are ready to be done, because there is a good chance you might dry up. Otherwise I think the spacing is fine. I got pregnant when my first was 13 months old. I like the spread, and wouldn't mind closer, but I will go farther next time because of the nursing thing.

I think the younger they are, the less jealousy because they won't know any different. At 22 months, my son was just excited to meet his little sister and hold her, ya know? But like PP mentioned, you won't know the personality of your little one ahead of time. DD is totally relaxed and chill, which helped our transistion.

[2xand2y]

IMVHO, children less than 2 years apart is a mistake, doable, but a mistake. Two to two and a half year difference works really well for me. The 18 month gig was r-o-u-g-h!

[VillageMom6]

Originally Posted by 2xand2y

IMVHO, children less than 2 years apart is a mistake, doable, but a mistake. Two to two and a half year difference works really well for me. The 18 month gig was r-o-u-g-h!

I totally respect your right to your feelings but I disagree with your assertion that less than two years is a mistake.

When I had two that were 14 months apart it was easy-peasy. It was like the blessing of twins but one of them was older and more manageable (read, sleeping through the night!).

The second baby was my most comfortable pregnancy and fastest labor (45 minutes). Once the second baby was a few months old, they became bestest buddies.

But like I said... there are pros and cons to every child spacing and every family has a different set of circumstances.

[snoopy5386]

for us it was 3 years - weaned, sleeping through the night and potty trained.