Hi... new here... :(

[single_cj]

Hi, folks... My name is Cat and I think I'm on the verge of being a single mother. DH & I have been separated for a few months - REALLY separated (over 1000 miles apart) and are considering making it a formal arrangement.

I'm terrified.

We have two little ones, DD (just turned 4) and DS (will be 2 in Sept.). I've been a SAHM since DD was born so I haven't worked in over 4 years. How in God's green earth am I going to find work? Pay for day care? Afford my own place??

Anyway, I just wanted to freak out for a minute!

Oh, a friend directed me here and said that there's a forum here dedicated to "what I wish I'd put in the settlement" and I was wondering where that is? I'm so worried that I'm going to forget something crucial; not that I want much. Just out.

[simplemama32]

Hi, Cat! I think this may be the thread mentioned: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...ting+agreement

Hugs, you can do this.

[*MamaJen*]

Hey and welcome. This is a great place for information and support. I know making the jump to single motherhood feels terrifying, but life is so much better for me happily single rather than unhappily partnered.

[over_the_rainbow]

Hey

I am newly single myself and equally terrified!! Keep talking here the other Mama's are so supportive

you CAN do this!!

[single_cj]

Thanks, mamas! I'm mostly concerned about my kiddos... I can handle finances/living/etc... I'm not sure HOW, but I'll handle it. I'm just so worried about the emotional impact on my children! How do I keep them from becoming "typical" kids of divorces parents - whatever the heck THAT means!?

[anon_abroad]

Of course you can handle it, you've been doing it for a few months already! What huge changes do you foresee from the past few months and legalising the separation? Do you think the kids will see the current situation much differently from the 'legal' separation? I bet most of the hard adjustments have already been made.
I don't know what 'typical' is either, but everyone will have issues in their life whether it be due to divorced parents or whatever else happens in their life, so all you can do is do your best to get them adjusted to the new situation with as much love as possible, as you are already doing

[Theia]

You've already received some great advice, so I just wanted to say welcome and I hope you stick around and give these awesome Mama's a chance. There is a lot of valuable collective information here.

[hillymum]

Hi! Just wanted to greet you and say this forum is really supportive. My husband walked out on July 3rd leaving me with three children so I am new to all of this too. Thank you for reminding me of the settlement thread! I need to go read it and make notes. (I'm doing more homework with divorce on the table than I did at uni!)

[pamela3340]

I am a somewhat new single parent (2 years since split), so I know how you feel. Just remember things WILL get better with time, and its all about being able to adapt and adjust. There are days that are bad for me (and i mean REALLY bad), but if I would have stayed with the ex, I know things would have gotten worse. Even though I have been through so much, I am the happiest I've ever been in my life - even as a working full time single mama, broke, and stressed, so things will look up for you! This is a great forum, welcome!