need help

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

i've been really sucky about keeping records this past year, and the records i previously had are not available presently due to our current living situation.

we're not members of an association, and my sil (works in public school and thinks it is amazing) who has always thought i was doing somethign wrong is now saying she is going to call dss if my kids aren't enrolled in school this year, and hat she wants to see what kind of things i've been teaching them.

admittedly this past year plus has been very lax, but it has been a rough year on us all emotionally, financially, physically etc. i'm still a mess and i'm trying to work through issues on my own

have any suggestions?

like today we're baking a bday cake for the lil guy- ds and dd are helping with measuring etc (covering math), helpign with reading directions etc.

nothing was written down even though i've been planning this all week thinking we could cover some science too if ds shows interest (the egg helps do x,y,z to the cake)

[SundayCrepes]

What state do you live in? We live in AZ and other than filing an affidavit of intent to homeschool there are no requirements for homeschooling. If your state has requirements for portfolios or whatever find out what they are.

I have the Living is Learning Guides http://www.fun-books.com/books/livin...ing_guides.htm

This is what the site says:
These guides are put together by Nancy Plent, founder of the Unschoolers Network in New Jersey and a long-time homeschooler. She reviewed the scope and sequence charts and curriculum guides of dozens of schools in various states, then combined the highest standards of elements from each to create these guides. Why purchase these curriculum guides? 1) They may help you to fulfill your state's legal requirement to provide an educational plan 2) They allow you to see some of the highest standards for schools at various grade levels, just in case you are curious about what the schools expect or are anxious about what you are doing 3) They provide record-keeping space that can help organize a portfolio.

[Lillian J]

How old are they?

I hope you distance yourselves from that s-i-l, by the way.

- Lillian

[moominmamma]

Some years we've been part of a program that has required record-keeping, but several years we haven't. The years we haven't I've not bothered to keep any sort of official record at all, and it never occurred to me that I ought to. Our jurisdiction does not require it. I figure I have a responsibility to feed my kids healthy meals, and I do that, but I don't keep records what they eat. Same for education.

My homeschooling documentation is my children, who grow in knowledge and competence. If your state doesn't require records, I wouldn't sweat it.

I would however make it very clear to your SIL that you do not homeschool by her grace and that you are not accountable to her. How to do this politely but firmly will depend a lot on the dynamics of your relationship with her. You might try something like "What we love about homeschooling is how it's inextricably bound up in our daily life at home and in the community. To get a feel for what and how the kids learn you'd really have to come and live with us for a few weeks -- not that that's practical! So I'm afraid you're just going to have to trust me on this: these are my children whom I care about deeply, and I'm pouring my heart and soul into facilitating their growth and education. We're comfortable with our decision to homeschool and I need you to respect that decision even if you don't agree with it."

Miranda

[inky leeuhhh]

i'm not sure i have much advice. i just can't believe your sil would do that to your family. i hope you get things worked out! we aren't keeping records either. i do take samples of their work and pack it away, but that's more for my own memories than records for the state. have you looked at your state requirements? it may help to make sure you know all the laws (if you haven't already) just in case she does complain to someone.

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

i am supposed to be keeping records, and a portfolio for samples, and i was until this past year.

unfortunately we're living with hub's parents, so can't completely avoid her like i'd like to. she's always gotten joy from other people's misery imo, and when we weren't living here my kids were only around her on holidays.

this same sil knows i prefer to feed my kids the healthiest food i can most of the time, and yet brought him a cupcake- gave it to him while i was in here pumping.

same woman also had a fit when i pulled my (then only child) out of the room she was in because she had a lit cigarrette. he is an asthmatic plus had a cold. she had a fit when she found out the dr didn't give him meds for his cold and basically accused me of being a bad mother at that point too.

i'm having a really hard time with "forgive and forget" with her. i've forgiven bullies frm my childhood at school etc- some of which tore my clothing, put gum in my hair etc; reasoning? they were kids and POSSIBLY didn't know any better.

[Callimom]

Do you have photos of activites or events you have attended?
A blog? Or a friend who blogs who you do things with to help jog your memory?
Copies of drawings or letters or stories?
Any workbooks they have dabbled in?
Lists from the library of books/dvds etc signed out (our library keeps them electronically)?
Any lists of field trips, co-ops, classes, performances, etc through a homeschool group or in your community?

Can you look online for your state's scope and sequence for the grades your kids are in and see what they require of school kids and then do a "year end" summary of what your kids have covered and accomplished?

I think I'd follow Miranda's suggestions wrt the SIL. However I would also get some supporting evidence of academic activities and progress together.

Good luck!

[Lisa1970]

I hope you cut your SIL out of your life. And tell her you plan to call DSS on her for being such a neglectful parent and such a hostile angry person has no business raising children. Remind her that people in glass houses should not throw stones. DO NOT allow her to threaten you in to sending your children to school.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by Lillian J

How old are they?

I hope you distance yourselves from that s-i-l, by the way.

- Lillian

Wow...I'm afraid I'd have to ask her who the h*ll she thought she was? If you are in legal compliance with your states' requirements, I'd tell her to take a flying leap myself. I'd also put it to her, very assertively, that she has exactly zero legal right to insist on seeing jack or squat pertaining to your children. I sincerely hope you can limit exposure of your family to this lovely woman *dripping sarcasm*

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

they're 10 & 7; thought that i answered already.

Originally Posted by Lisa1970

I hope you cut your SIL out of your life. And tell her you plan to call DSS on her for being such a neglectful parent and such a hostile angry person has no business raising children. Remind her that people in glass houses should not throw stones. DO NOT allow her to threaten you in to sending your children to school.

she wouldn't care wrt dss- her home stays spotless, and her youngest child is 17 and in honors and college classes, though her oldest, only a few years older- has been arrested at least once.

Originally Posted by CariOfOz

Wow...I'm afraid I'd have to ask her who the h*ll she thought she was? If you are in legal compliance with your states' requirements, I'd tell her to take a flying leap myself. I'd also put it to her, very assertively, that she has exactly zero legal right to insist on seeing jack or squat pertaining to your children. I sincerely hope you can limit exposure of your family to this lovely woman *dripping sarcasm*

see above re: state requirements- my recordkeeping is not on par currently. honestly if we had somewhere to go/job for dh etc we'd move far away from her.

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

[QUOTE=Karenwith4;15684142]Do you have photos of activites or events you have attended? not anything recent- haven't attended anything but church this past year.
A blog? Or a friend who blogs who you do things with to help jog your memory? no
Copies of drawings or letters or stories? a few, most have been discarded.
Any workbooks they have dabbled in? same
Lists from the library of books/dvds etc signed out (our library keeps them electronically)? no
Any lists of field trips, co-ops, classes, performances, etc through a homeschool group or in your community? no- the hs group here consists mostly of a church that is very large that i won't join because of their ties to ezzo. (they teach prep for parenting etc

Can you look online for your state's scope and sequence for the grades your kids are in and see what they require of school kids and then do a "year end" summary of what your kids have covered and accomplished?
this i can, thanks much.

I think I'd follow Miranda's suggestions wrt the SIL. However I would also get some supporting evidence of academic activities and progress together.

Good luck![/QUOTE

[yippityskippity]

How about asking your kids what some of their favorite things to do and learn about were this past year? Perhaps for history and science they could write a couple of paragraphs (or sentences, for the 7 yo) about the favorite thing they've learned this year.

Do your kids remember any books they've read (or that you've read aloud) that could translate into academics?

What are their hobbies? I'll bet that if you list them in this thread we can help you draw the connections between the hobby and state requirements.

What about library events or other community events?

Have they sung in the children's choir or been in a Christmas pageant?

Played any sports (formally or not)? That's PE.

Have they done any cooking or learned any new life skills?

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

hobbies- they both like to sing, ds likes riding his bike and using spinners (shoes with wheels on em), dd likes the scooter thingy and wants spinners.

no children's choir. i helped run ours until i was put on bedrest last yr. i still havent gotten back to being myself- feel so rundown anymore. they were in Christmas play @ mil/fil church because we weren't taking little guy anywhere except dr appointments until the end of november/beginning of december. only sports were again before bedrest, they played soccer/went to skatepark/went bowling and stuff at church with kids' group on wednesday nights. now that my hub works wednesday nights, and the other man that was in charge of the boys group has moved away there is no kids activity on wed nights.

[mom2tig99Nroo03]

yes on the helping with cooking etc.

[Roar]

If it would bring you peace of mind, my suggestion would be to reconstruct what you can from the last year. There are many free printable calendars available online and you could write down our recollections by the week or month. You can make use regular life events - like baking - and sort them into academic categories and make notes such as discussed fractions. Also, it would probably be fairly easy to note where your kids were a year ago in a variety of academic skill areas and note progress you've observed. You could write these up in the form of year end progress reports. If you have photos or can find samples of the kids' art, etc. you could add that as well. I bet in just a couple of hours you could put together something that would be reasonably accurate and would make you feel more comfortable that you have something together in case anyone asks you for something. Another easy thing to do would be to set up a list of goals for each child for the upcoming school year. That makes it clear that you are thinking about the future.

And, I agree I would firmly suggested to SIL that you are not interested in asking for her help or permission.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by mom2tig99Nroo03

.
see above re: state requirements- my recordkeeping is not on par currently. honestly if we had somewhere to go/job for dh etc we'd move far away from her.

oh poo... I did miss that... BUT I still think you can pull together a reasonable summary of what the kids have done!

Originally Posted by Roar

If it would bring you peace of mind, my suggestion would be to reconstruct what you can from the last year. There are many free printable calendars available online and you could write down our recollections by the week or month..
...

This... It may not be PERFECT, but you can be sure they were learning all sorts of things even if there was no 'official' learning going on! Baking = fractions, measuring volume, learning what yeast does! Lots of math involved in cooking. Just have to make it sound like OFFICIAL I'm sure there was reading going on, I keep my library 'receipts' so I can keep track later on (I think libraries should all print out a list of your books, it is a life saver!) If you can remember some of them, then you can not only cover 'reading' you can also cover science, social studies etc...

All that being said.. even if you DO pull together a reasonable learning history for the year... I wouldn't let the SIL from hell see it.

I agree with the pp though, get a GOOD plan together for the up coming year so that 'they' can see that you've thought it through and are on the ball.. JUST in case she does make good on her threat to complain.

Here's hoping a primo job falls in your dh's lap so you can get away from such a nasty, toxic woman! It sounds like you've had a fair bit of stress in your life already so you deserve to be free of that kind of threat!

[Savoir Faire]

Wow, your SIL sounds like a winner. I'd steer clear away from her. And possibly remove her from the Christmas card list.

[SundayCrepes]

For plans for next year...We are unschoolers that use the booklist from www.sonlight.com. Perhaps you could look at their reading list for your kids upcoming grades and transform that into a plan. They have an impressive booklist and it would be pretty impressive if you could do something like: Physics--How do you lift a lion a lion, Biology--Why do tigers have stripes, Social Studies--What do People do all Day, Art History--The child's book of art, Ethics--The children's book of virtues, etc. And that's just a fraction of the PRESCOOL books they list.

So, even if your past records aren't quite where you'd want them to be, hopefully you'd encounter an understanding soul who would hear about how your health problems kept you from keeping records and if they saw such a great plan for the future they'd be okay with it.

As far as talking with your SIL, I've learned the hard way that burning bridges can be problematic. I'd be nice to her and tell her you understand she is concerned for your children. Not only do you understand it, but you appreciate she is so concerned. However, you feel homeschooling is so much better than traditional homeschooling which is why you're doing it. If she'd like to read some articles/research about why you prefer homeschooling, you'd be happy to share that info with her. There is a thread right now about a husband who wants proof homeschooling is better. I am looking forward to reading the links listed there. I'd say read them yourself, bookmark them, and share them with your SIL--on the off-hand chance she is actually interested. Being huffy with her will only strengthen her resolved to "get you in trouble."

[PGTlatte]

weird - my whole post doubled !

[PGTlatte]

First I would tell the SIL in no uncertain terms that I am not accountable to her, and that it is totally unacceptable to make threats regarding my kids.

Then, I second the suggestion of taking some standards/scope and sequence for each grade level, and using those as a reference to write an "end of year" progress report for each compulsory-age child. I would write a couple of paragraphs for each general subject area your state requires - not trying to write to each sub-item in the standards - but I would keep one eye on the standards and anything I saw on the standards that had been touched on during the year, I would make a point to include in language that uses the same terms as what is on the state standards. This may not meet all of your record keeping requirements but it would be better than nothing. You can also have your kids do some written work in each subject area now, and just don't date the work.

However I would not show it to SIL...to make the point that you don't have to cuz she's not the boss of you. Frankly IMO when someone has made up their mind that homeschooling is inferior, there is probably nothing you can do to change their mind; and with someone who is such an aggressive bully that she has decided to push you around with threats, there is probably nothing you could pull together that would satisfy her anyway and you would only appear to be giving in to her threats by going along with her demands.