Sex is still painful and DS is almost a year

[KermitII63]

Ever since DS was born (our first baby) sex has been pretty painful for me, and therefore almost non-existent. We tried first at 6 weeks and my body said no. A few months later, I had a good bit of pain in my perineal area. Now, that area seems okay, but up front, near my clitoris/urethra, the tissue is SOO sore when we start having sex that we have to stop after a minute or so. It feels raw. It also hurt/stung for months after birth when I washed if any soap got into that area. Visually, NOTHING is there. No redness, no tear, no scar tissue, nothing I can see.

I had a natural birth with a very small perineal tear, and what my midwife called a skid mark up front, near my urethra. No issues other than that, and I even went to the OB, who saw granulation near my perineum but nothing up front in the area that's bothering me now.

I know childbirth is a HUGE event for a woman's body, but I want to have a sex life again at some point. I know there are other things we can do, and we're plenty creative, but I want to enjoy sex again. Right now, it doesn't appeal to me AT all, because I associate it with this really painful feeling. DH is super supportive, and isn't pressbut I'm sure he feels frustration on some level.

I'm really curious if anyone else has experienced this or has any advice. I've been putting on a comfrey salve the last few days hoping that will do something, but otherwise have just been waiting for time to heal my body. I'm frustrated though and I feel a bit...well...broken.

[Pattyla]

Have you looked into vulvar vestibulitis?

If I use anything with SLS in it I have vulvar pain. Also some women have problems with oxolates in their food. An issue like this can arise at any time and wouldn't have been caused by the birth. Have you taken antiboitics in the last two years for any reason? There are oxolate degrading bacteria in healthy guts.
Vulvar pain is very upsetting. I have dealt with it in various degrees for many years. It started before I had children though. Do some googling and see if that fits your issue.

[jemar]

Patience. It took over a year for sex to feel good again for me. Especially if you are breastfeeding.