Last Day of July...Final baby...Emotional

[livelovelaugh]

Isn't it so strange to think that tomorrow is the last day of this month that we have anticipted, contemplated, and longed for for so long now? I feel as though I am starting to come out of what I have endearingly been calling the baby fog / babymoon, and I feel sad to say goodbye to July 2010.

I am especially nostalgic for this pregnancy and birth because they will be...dare I actually put it in print...my last... Three is our number, and we are so blessed to have three wonderful, healthy children...if it were completely up to me I would have babies for a living. ok, so the last month or so of being enormous in all of that insane humidity I was not exactly loving being pregnant, but in general I am just awestruck by pregnancy and birth, feel so empowered after my own and do not want to leave this phase of my life. Hrmmphhh....so since I cannot just keep having babies forever, what do I do...becoming a midwife is too long a road and just too much for me to take on, but I am seriously considering becoming a nurse with the hopes of finding my way into maternity care in 5-10 years. Is this English teacher of 13 years completely insane? I just have such a strong pull to this field it is almost as though there is no other option! : )

Sorry for rambling...sad that July 2010 is coming to an end, but loving my little lady so much, so happy my family is complete, and so glad to have shared this ride with all of you!

Anyone else finding "reentry" into the world a bit difficult? I am happy and all is well...just want to hold on to the birth and early newborn days!

[Love Wins]

Just had this conversation with my DH tonight. The month we've been waiting for for so long, counting the days until it arrived, planning almost everything around this month, spent days daydreaming about, is almost gone. And for me that signifies that my little girl is growing up, faster than I can even believe. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way, but I do wonder if I dwell on it too much??
I can't imagine the emotions you feel with this being your last. I'm just beginning this journey, so the thought of it ending even within the next five years, is something I, like you, don't even want to mention. Surely, there is enough room for you in the childbirth field! Have you considered becoming a doula?

[lrgs]

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels like this. I have been having such an emotional week........I don't know if it's the baby blues or even normal. I knew this was going to be hard because she might be my last (I have such hard pregnancies) and I'm having a tough time coming to terms with that. I waited my whole life to do the whole pregnancy, birth, motherhood thing and the thought of being out of my childbearing phase is hard to accept. I probably shouldn't think about it so much because it makes me cry. It doesn't help that my babymoon came to an abrupt end when the inlaws bailed on us and I've been overdoing it a bit. My baby is 6 days old and spent a lot of time in her swing today.......not even close to what I'd planned.

[a-sorta-fairytale]

I am feeling weepy about this being my last. It is for sure our last - for medical reasons on my part and i will be sad to never be pregnant, see those 2 lines, feel those kicks etc. I am trying to enjoy every moment of him being a newborn and soaking it up.

[expat-mama]

We're not sure if our first will be our last. It's a possibility but I can't imagine not doing this all again, and DH is falling in love with being a dad. We've already talked about wanting more... but wanting is different than being able to. For us it's a matter of logistics and managing our international lifestyle as well as our finances. It's important to us both that we do not struggle to provide all the best for our child/children and suffer the strains on our family happiness because of it- something we both grew up with. Anyway, we have some time to figure it out, as we've decided that if we do have another little one, it won't be for at least 3 years.

It is such an enormous and amazing experience though...I never could have imagined. I can't think about whether I'll get to do it again... I've just got to savour the now.

[lrgs]

I like that......savour the now........good advice.

[coffeegirl]

livelovelaugh....since you feel so strongly, why stop at 3? You said it's your "number" but is that written in stone? Maybe your number is 4!

(Sorry....I just tend to be a baby optimist. )

[livelovelaugh]

Originally Posted by coffeegirl

livelovelaugh....since you feel so strongly, why stop at 3? You said it's your "number" but is that written in stone? Maybe your number is 4!

(Sorry....I just tend to be a baby optimist. )

I know, I know - believe me, I would love to, but dh is happy with 3, and it took a lot of discusison to get there and to make sure we could handle 3 as well as we want to, so a 4th really isn't an option...we feel that financially this is really all that we can handle, and we also want to be able to give as much attention as we can to the ones that we have, which is hard enough with 2! : ) We are so fortunate to have 3 healthy children, so as nostalgic as I am and as hard as it will be to not go through pregnancy and birth and babies again, for now I need to work hard on "savouring the now" and appreciating all of the miracles in our lives.

[Surfacing]

I soooooooooooooo relate to what you are saying. It is also our last baby, and the last time I will be pregnant and breastfeeding and giving birth. I too LOVE the feeling of being pregnant and birthing, etc. So much power within us to create life and grow it. It's so amazing. I feel so strong and beautiful when I am pregnant. I can be more than myself and feel so powerful.

Like you I feel pulled to midwifery but am considering nursing (because I can get free tuition for nursing but not midwifery). I too feel like I don't want to leave the birth world and feel foggy getting back into the rest of life. I feel sad leaving it. I have done doula work in the past but stopped when I was pregnant with baby #3. Perhaps it's time to get back into it and start saving the pennies for midwifery, even though I can't afford to go for a few years most likely due to childcare costs.

I have been having dreams the last couple of nights that I am huge and pregnant (which I always loved), and have also dreamt that I was in labour and giving birth -- like a really vivid dream about positions, choices re: doulas, labour companions, etc.

So yeah.

Yeah.