Mama's To More Than 2

[BabyMae09]

We have a DS who is 8.5 and a DD who is 14 months. I'd like to have one or two more, but to be honest, DD has been a little high maintenance and knowing myself, I'm wondering if I can handle even one or two more.

My deepest desire is to be able to be a good mother, and to birth the children I feel like are 'mine' and I do feel as though I have two more daughters yet to come.

So far, we've been using FAM and pulling out as birth control. How did you plan the spacing of your kids? If you had a 'high-maintenance' child, how did that affect how long you waited to have another, and was it long enough?

My biggest worry is that with more than 2 kids, I'll never be able to find a sitter/my parents won't want to keep all three while I have a date with DP/time alone. Do you find that those things are issues?

How do you make it work, with more than two, and what do you think the ideal spacing is?

TIA

[34me]

My first 2 are 30 mos apart (very planned) and my second 2 are 26 mos apart. We were lucky because ds#2 chose when to come into our lives (huge surprise!) or we may never have had another after a high needes ds#1 and easygoing dd. We also knew going into it that there would be no family baby sitters as we have no family within 1000 miles. We have found sitters without too many issues although dates were few and far between when the kiddos were younger due to finances. They are now 11, 14 and 16 and although the monkey in the middle is still pretty high needs I couldn't imagine not having ds#2 and he totally completed our family. After him I just felt like we were complete.

[Peony]

My oldest is my HN child, there are almost 4 years between her and DD2 for that reason. It has been really rough as it was with that spacing, we wouldn't of survived a closer one between those two kids. DD2 had unexpected health issues. DD2 and DS are exactly 2.5 years apart. Yes it is rough finding sitters, I do have family but can't ask them to watch all 3 of my kids. Most of the time I end up dividing up children, one here and two with someone else. Once in a great while my mom will get all 3 or I have 1 sitter that can handle all 3 for short periods but no one else can. Even DH seriously struggles when left with all the kids, they are 7, 3, and 1 now. We have never done a date night since DS was born, I am doubting that we got out after DD2 was born either... We go out separately now, taking turns with friends. I have to use sitters enough for my part time job or appointments that getting out together just never happens.