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The August 'Whatever' Thread - Page 6

post #101 of 491
MW -I totally see that line -not even a squinter! congrats. Praying for a sticky baby!
post #102 of 491
hey! i missed so much in a few hours! MW, a thousand congrats and will be wishing you to carry through your 9 healthy months...
mommatoaanda, why not just test again just to be sure? one test for peace of mind.
as for ttc vs. whatevering, i feel like we all have some small ambivalences, and for me personally, it is nice not to be as fixated on it as i was when ttc #1. i mean, i am trying, but i'm not disappointed when i get AF. i just think that it gives me more time to devote to ds without distraction. and he's sooo funny right now. he was nursing for naptime today and all of a sudden he started wiggling all around and exclaimed, "running, running!" he loves "running" and "walking" and apparently does not connect them with actual locomotion, just the movement of his body. i laughed and laughed.
i enjoy this thread the most, though i do check the 30 something ttc #2 and the nursing ttc ones too.
post #103 of 491
T, I too would test again; you never know! between switching thermometers and coming off the shot, it throws your body all wacky.

Coming off the shot, before I got AF, I had a lot of pseudo pregancy symptoms, but no + hpts. I was on it for 18 months. 1st AF was 4 months later, it didn't regulate until a year or 18 months later. Even though it "runs out" 3 months after it is given, a lot of women have delayed fertility returns. It didn't help that I gained a lot of weight while on it either. BUT some women fallI pregnant if they miss their next scheduled shot by just a few days.

Just a funny question, are you sure your last AF was really AF? and not just some early pregnancy bleeding that is pretty common? I have had more than one friend not realize she was pregnant until 4-5 months along because she thought she was getting AF every month. Just a thought.

I had to explain the whole egg cycle to DH again last night. I told him that we only had a few days before AF shows, so if he wants to DTD, well . . . .so anyway, he said (again) you O after your period right? and I said, well, yes and no (because there is O on either side of AF). AF marks the end of a cycle. 1st day is day 1. I O typically between day 17-22. so he is like, we are good right after and right before AF . . .I am like, sorta . . . (I mean, I could have a freakish cycle and O early. If we are totally TTA, it should mean protection until O is confirmed, I think) If I were truly evil and wanted to manipulate an Oops, I should start feeding him some misinformation! LOL

I wish the nursing TTC was more of a q&a, and it doesn't seem to be, at least from what I glanced before I :ran away
post #104 of 491
I've never ventured over to the TTC boards. I used to be active on FF when I was TTC, though, so I know how crazy things can get when people are TTC. I pop over to the chat there everyone once in a while to check in on people and get interesting responses when I tell them I'm not preventing but not trying.

Quote:
Even though it "runs out" 3 months after it is given, a lot of women have delayed fertility returns.
The Norplant manufacturers advertised that you could get pg right away after having it removed. I went for around 2 years without getting on my own at all right after having it removed. Then I went at least a year with those long and wacky cycles when dh and I were first TTC (although I guess that was more not trying but not preventing). I think the Norplant messed me up a lot. May have even caused my PCOS.

Quote:
so he is like, we are good right after and right before AF . . .I am like, sorta . . . (I mean, I could have a freakish cycle and O early. If we are totally TTA, it should mean protection until O is confirmed, I think) If I were truly evil and wanted to manipulate an Oops, I should start feeding him some misinformation! LOL
It's not misinformation if you tell him you are safe as long as you don't have any CF. Even if you have sticky CF as your BIP, although that increases the chance of a pg slightly, it's really not much of a risk at all. I think the effectiveness goes from 98% to maybe 96% or 97%. Not any different than using condoms and still better than withdrawal (although not by much). IMO, if you are strictly TTA and absolutely, positively cannot get pg right now, you really should abstain until after O is confirmed.

So, who wants to take bets on how long it will take for my dh to ask me what's going? I don't think I'm going to say anything until he asks.
post #105 of 491
I don't know your DH, but mine . . . might be a little while, at least a week. Unless I was showing super obvious signs like morning sickness or refused a cocktail or something.

My BIP is sticky to creamy I think (or was when I was TTC) I seem drier now while nursing when not fertile. When I was TTC, I was NEVER dry and rarely sticky. Now it is a whole 'nother ball game.
post #106 of 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post
I don't know your DH, but mine . . . might be a little while, at least a week. Unless I was showing super obvious signs like morning sickness or refused a cocktail or something.
I'm a little perturbed with my dh for not asking anything about my cycle since he got home. Obviously, he knew when I had because it started right after he got home. He had a general idea of when was over because we started dtd. The last 2 times we dtd, cd17 and 18, I got mild cramps afterward, which is typical for me post-O. Once he commented that it seemed to early in my cycle for me to be getting cramps but hasn't said anything else about it. He's seen me marking my chart every day but hasn't asked if I did O or not. He knows that I start getting bad cramps about a week post-O and can't dtd anymore. He hasn't brought up dtd at all since then. Maybe he just figured I Oed based on the cramps and doesn't need to ask. It's been 8 days so I'm curious to see if he starts asking questions about a week from now.

It really me that he isn't more interested or involved. It makes me feel like he doesn't care. I know that's not true. He's just not one to talk about things much (anymore). He used to talk about all kinds of stuff until he became a Marine. As the years go by and he's a Marine longer and longer, he gets more and more distant and closed off.

Can I also say that I wish he would stop leaving the pot scrubber in the sink?! That drives me crazy. It stays wet and gets all scummy and I can't find it under all the dirty pots and pans when I need it. Whew! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post
My BIP is sticky to creamy I think (or was when I was TTC) I seem drier now while nursing when not fertile. When I was TTC, I was NEVER dry and rarely sticky. Now it is a whole 'nother ball game.
It makes sense that you would be drier while breastfeeding. Even if you have only one day of dry CF, you are supposed to consider that your BIP. Then once you get sticky, you are supposed to consider yourself potentially fertile. You could use a combo of your BIP and day counting to figure out when you are fertile and not. You could consider yourself infertile whenever you are dry as long as you are more than 7 days before your earliest O from the last 6 cycles.
post #107 of 491
I'm going out of town today for a long weekend, and when I come back I'll have family visiting all week. Right during my fertile time! Makes me glad you guys are here for whatever support, cuz that might make me stressed if I was diligently, actively TTC. As it is, I almost fear I'll get laughed off the TTC boards based on my (small) amount of BDing. I'm very zen about it right now though, probably because of the ambivalence I still have. If we BD, we BD and I get a real 2WW. If we don't, we don't and there's always next month.

Everyone take care while I'm gone. I'll probably be able to check back Monday. Here's my chart for stalking purposes, CD 11.
post #108 of 491
Crashing to say CONGRATS to MW! I know it's early but it's still good news!
post #109 of 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
Can I also say that I wish he would stop leaving the pot scrubber in the sink?! That drives me crazy. It stays wet and gets all scummy and I can't find it under all the dirty pots and pans when I need it. Whew! Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.
OMG you are so pg!

No, but seriously, that stuff pisses me off too. And it doesn't matter how many times I ask DH to take the sponge out of the sink. He still leaves it wet and sopping under the dishes.

I'm thinking he's not asking about your cycle as part of a don't ask, don't tell sort of thing. He doesn't want to know b/c if he knows he'd have to consciously admit to wanting the baby. I don't know if I could keep a bfp a secret from my DH though. Why aren't you telling? Just b/c he doesn't always believe a home bfp?
post #110 of 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
No, but seriously, that stuff pisses me off too. And it doesn't matter how many times I ask DH to take the sponge out of the sink. He still leaves it wet and sopping under the dishes.
It's always hard when he first comes home from a long separation. There are all kinds of little things that start to drive me crazy because I didn't have to deal with them for months and months. He leaves piles of clothes all over the bedroom. I don't know if they are clean or dirty. I just leave them there when I do laundry. I figure he'll eventually either pick them up or say something. I keep having go around behind him and fix things he's done. I have to reload the dishwasher and make sure things are put away in the proper place. It's okay for the first week or so that he's home because he has to relearn how things work again. However, after a week or so you'd think he'd have it all figured out. Then it starts to make me mad because it makes me feel like he's not paying attention to or thinking about the rest of us. Anyway...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
I'm thinking he's not asking about your cycle as part of a don't ask, don't tell sort of thing. He doesn't want to know b/c if he knows he'd have to consciously admit to wanting the baby. I don't know if I could keep a bfp a secret from my DH though. Why aren't you telling? Just b/c he doesn't always believe a home bfp?
Don't ask, don't tell. He certainly has a lot of experience with that.

I'm not telling him because I want to make sure it's going to stick. Since he doesn't seem to have much faith in hpts I don't want to deal with him questioning it, especially if it doesn't stick. KWIM?

A bfp doesn't have the excitement for me that it used to. When I got my 1st bfp with ds2 I was so excited I couldn't contain myself. I had to tell everyone even though I was only 10dpo. After doing that once and then miscarrying and having to go back and tell everyone to nevermind, I keep to myself now. I didn't tell dh that I was pg with ds3 until after my beta got high enough that we would be able to see a h/b on u/s, which was about 6w. Even though we were actively TTC then, he didn't ask me why I hadn't gotten .
post #111 of 491
MW, you are wealth of info!

You know, the funny thing is, the longer my dad was an active duty Marine, the more of a softie he became; he was super hard-core (corps?) when I was little, but by the time I was in high school, he was a lot gentler and more understanding. He was in a total of 26 years. Granted, he didn't do much deployment until the last few years - especially the 4 years he was in Okinawa - but I think both he and my mom were kind of anti-establishment (mom never did to officers or staff NCO's wives' club, for example) hope that your DH opens up some -

I agree that he maybe just doesn't *want* to know until you say something. Men assume alot too.

I have had only one pregnancy, and that bfp was full of excitement. I think for the next one we will be more low-key and try to hold off longer. If we can.

Mel, enjoy your time away!

I am thankful I have no where for overnight guests to sleep! LOL
post #112 of 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post
You know, the funny thing is, the longer my dad was an active duty Marine, the more of a softie he became; he was super hard-core (corps?) when I was little, but by the time I was in high school, he was a lot gentler and more understanding. He was in a total of 26 years. Granted, he didn't do much deployment until the last few years - especially the 4 years he was in Okinawa - but I think both he and my mom were kind of anti-establishment (mom never did to officers or staff NCO's wives' club, for example) hope that your DH opens up some -

I agree that he maybe just doesn't *want* to know until you say something. Men assume alot too.
I can see him getting softer as he gets older. I think most people do. My dad was very strict and judgmental and unforgiving and tight with money with me as a child and teenager but he's such a softy with the grandkids. Whenver I talk to him about some crazy/stupid thing my 19yo has done my dad says something like, "That's part of growing up." If/when I did anything crazy or stupid, he would get so mad at me.

Funny you mentioned men assuming a lot. My dh assumes almost everything. Just about every time I ask him wth he's doing he starts off with, "I assumed..." I constantly tease him about how that makes an ass out of him. He rarely gets things correct when he assumes but he still does it.
post #113 of 491
OK, so I just had a thought. Please entertain me here. I am wondering some things.

We sleep with the A/C on and I am a mouth breather. Both can REALLY alter oral temps. So next cycle I am vaginally going to temp.

I think if A/C is the issue then this cycle is a wash because I wake up shivering because DP loves to blast the A/C. I am wondering if I did O on CD 16? Which would make the temp drop on 5DPO and spotting on 7,8,9 and 10 DPO. I took another HPT and got a faint positive, but it was blue dye (only one I had). Not sure what to think here? Too light to take a photo but I def see something so maybe I should get a FRER (which I always got positives on with my kids. I would only be 10 DPO if that was the case. I am wondering if all the fertile looking mucous after was like Leuhkorea (SP). I do remember a distinct shift in CP on day 17. It was not high and mushy. it really changed which I can normally never tell and I remember thinking WHOA. I get CP now. Anyway. I messed around with my chart a little so it is probably accurate at this point temp wise, but only time will tell. I am just really wondering about the nights we lowered the A/C and my temps recovering to those numbers the following mornings. Thoughts?
post #114 of 491
T ~ I hate those blue dye tests. You can definitely get a bfp with FRER at 10dpo but it's not guaranteed. I got my first definite bfp on my ICs at FRER at what was 11dpo at the most. I actually got even fainter what I thought were evap lines the 2 days before that on the ICs. So, yeah, definitely try FRER or another Answer Early. I've always had really good luck with Answer Early and they cost a little less. You should be able to get a bfp with those by 10dpo, too. They say 5 days before your missed .

I forgot to mention I have an appointment with a midwife next Wednesday. She's going to look over my records and probably refer me to the MFM specialist (who I just learned is moving his office an hour and a half away).
post #115 of 491
Ok I took a FRER and it was negative. I fixed my chart (good thing I write it down for the week! LOL

But look! If my temp goes up a smidge more I think it will give me cross hairs. I just need 2 more mornings of high temps! Unless of course I DID O on CD16. I am not sure if I should try tunring the AC down or not tonight? I wonder how much that sways it? Next month is vaginal temping I think...

The blue dye test was a Family Dollar one and it is DEF positive, I hate false positives. UGH
post #116 of 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
I forgot to mention I have an appointment with a midwife next Wednesday. She's going to look over my records and probably refer me to the MFM specialist (who I just learned is moving his office an hour and a half away).
I'll be thinking of you till you get back from this appt! Bummer that the specialist will be so far away. What's MFM? Forgive my ignorance. Is that someone you would have to see throughout the whole pg?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MommatoAandA View Post
Ok I took a FRER and it was negative. I fixed my chart (good thing I write it down for the week! LOL

But look! If my temp goes up a smidge more I think it will give me cross hairs. I just need 2 more mornings of high temps! Unless of course I DID O on CD16. I am not sure if I should try tunring the AC down or not tonight? I wonder how much that sways it? Next month is vaginal temping I think...

The blue dye test was a Family Dollar one and it is DEF positive, I hate false positives. UGH
How confusing!
I say leave the AC as is and keep temping the way you have been for this cycle. I think if you change things now you will open up too many variables.

AFM : finally saw some real EW today! I think we might skip dtd tonight and dtd tmw and possibly Sat instead. The only thing we missed these past few cycles was dtd the day before O. We keep dtd O and O-2. It's a little less "whatever" to be thinking like this, but if I'm going to increase my chances I might as well have a guideline and give it a shot...

I'm hoping we're in the mood this weekend, b/c I work both days and am usually wiped at the end of the day...
post #117 of 491
MW- yay for your appt with the MW! Hopefully you will be able to get some answers. Thanks for answering my questions. You are truly most knowledgable. OH and LMAO about the sponge/scrubber in the sink. DP does that and it drives me BATTY! OMG I hate it, it smells all moldy and I have to wash it (I wash and reuse sponges a few times as long as the scrubby is still good). That is totally a preggo moment. I understand about keeping the BFP to yourself. When they act like it doesn't exist its easier to deal alone i think. Hopefully its reeeeallly sticky

So I had my exam and I got an 84 on it. I have to go online and check my average now. I need to stay above a 93 so I can get a 4.0... My class ends next week!

Anyone else on 2nd or 3rd babies and thinking about how it will affect your career if you are still working? I am torn. I have been working on my nursing degree for 5 years now and very uncertain what the next move is to make. I want to SAH with the kids and possibly go Per Diem once I am a nurse. I just have to figure out which program and the timing makes sense. Decisions decisions.
post #118 of 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
I'll be thinking of you till you get back from this appt! Bummer that the specialist will be so far away. What's MFM? Forgive my ignorance. Is that someone you would have to see throughout the whole pg?



How confusing!
I say leave the AC as is and keep temping the way you have been for this cycle. I think if you change things now you will open up too many variables.

AFM : finally saw some real EW today! I think we might skip dtd tonight and dtd tmw and possibly Sat instead. The only thing we missed these past few cycles was dtd the day before O. We keep dtd O and O-2. It's a little less "whatever" to be thinking like this, but if I'm going to increase my chances I might as well have a guideline and give it a shot...

I'm hoping we're in the mood this weekend, b/c I work both days and am usually wiped at the end of the day...
yeah its hard when the days come and your too tired. I know that feeling. I push myself to try to get in the mood often even when I am not just because I know DP wants to.
post #119 of 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
What's MFM? Forgive my ignorance. Is that someone you would have to see throughout the whole pg?
It's maternal/fetal medicine. He's the one guy in town who does all the testing and treating of high risk and birth defect kind of stuff. He might be a bit more qualified to help me than a regular OB. I don't have any idea if I'd have to see my whole pg. I really don't see why. I've never seen anyone like that before. He might suggest it because of my issues and the fact that I'm now over 40 but whatever. I'm planning to have a homebirth with the midwife. Because of my m/c last summer at 10 or 11w, I think I might continue to see him until I'm out of the first tri.

T ~ I say leave the A/C, too. I'm having an A/C war with my 19yo right now. He says his room gets really hot so he turns it down at night after I go to bed. I keep it set to 74. He keeps putting it on 72. He'd put it lower if I let him. I wake up shivering and can feel the difference when I go upstairs during the day. I haven't noticed my temps being significantly lower.

An 84 is really good! I can't contribute anything to your question because I was looking for reasons to stop working. One of the things I made dh agree to when he said he wanted to join the Marines was that I would stop working. What do you mean by working Per Diem? You'd just work random days and get paid only for the days your work, kind like a substitute nurse?
post #120 of 491
Yeah I don't really have any help regarding working either, because I'm very excited to be done 'working'. I don't have a real career though- it truly is just a job. DH and I have talked about it a lot in the past, and he goes back and forth on whether I'm "allowed and able" to stop working once we have kids, but I've done the math, and the calculations, and I won't be returning to work. Once our first child is one year (I get mat leave for 50 weeks, plus it seems like a good time with breastfeeding) I'll be attempting to return to doula work, but even that is part time.
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