Tell me about having a 2nd when 1st is 2 yr old

[kfillmore]

I would like to hear mom experiences with having a second baby that arrives when Baby#1 is around 2-2.5.

How was it when you were pregnant?
Did you miss out on alot of baby's growing up and all the zillions of cute things they did?
Did it damage any bond you had with your first?
Was it really really exhausting?
Was it hard to be so long caring for such little humans (like 5 or 6 years or something)
How was breastfeeding?
Anything else?

THANKS!!!!!!

[Joyster]

I was really worried about missing out on some of the cool neat things DS1 would be learning and bonding when DS2 arrived.

Pregnancy was exhausting! I'm currently on my third pregnancy and DS2 is 2.5, I'm ready to drop, but I was ready to drop then. It was hard keeping energy up, but I found that standing play dates at the park or wherever really helped to keep us going.

I don't think I missed out, I didn't have the time to focus solely on DS1, but he's a sweet sensitive guy and very involved in his brother's life. I have this one video where I have DS2 on a mat and DS1 was asking to see the pictures I was taking. It was arguably one of his cutest moments ever and not only did I get to be there, but I recorded it! *G*

No damage to our bond. Everything including love just grew. His love grew too for his little brother. They're pretty tight.

Pretty tiring yes! You deal though. Finding some support really helps.

It's hard managing the mundane things, largely because I'm in the "I don't wanna!!!!" state of mind. It's not hard when we're playing in the pool, or when I took DS1 to a local fair and we had a great chat about all the rides.

Breastfeeding was fine. I admit, we watched a lot of nature documentaries during those times just so DS1 would be occupied, or I'd give him a sticker book and snack, but we both love nature documentaries and you can ask anyone, DS1 has an insane knowledge of dinosaurs. So do I. lol

[Llyra]

My twins were born when DD1 was just short of 2 1/2. It was exhausting, sure-- especially during the pregnancy, because I was on bedrest for three months, and then in the early months it was difficult because DS was colicky. All in all, though, I think it was really good for DD. She and her siblings are close in age and play together and have a very close bond. They are each close to me, the way a first child is, but they also have these bonds between themselves that are very special.

The hardest part wasn't the breastfeeding. DD1 and I made that special by making a big box of special "baby feeding" toys and books, that lived behind the couch and only came out when mama was nursing. She would sit on the couch with me while the babies nursed, and we would read and talk and it was actually really nice.

It was the diapers that just about wrecked me. DD wasn't potty trained when the twins arrived, and I seriously felt like I was spending my entire life changing diapers and washing bums and washing diapers and drying diapers and carrying baskets of diapers up and down stairs. The twins are 3 1/2 now, and still wear diapers at night and to nap, and sometimes I think about how I have been changing diapers literally every single day for almost six years.

DD1 and I did have some conflicts-- she had to learn some limits that hadn't been necessary before, like learning to keep quiet while a baby was sleeping, and learning to wait for my attention. We had some rough days with that stuff, but all in all I think it was actually good for her.

One thing that really helped us was a little preschool program three days a week. DD loved having something special that belonged only to her, and adults that she didn't have to share with her brother and sister. She was happy there, and it gave me some time to spend building my bond with the twins.

[mamadelbosque]

DS2 was born when ds1 was 29 months, and so far its been *great*!! I've been blessed with two (overall) very easy pregnancies and fairly easy births. DS2 has been an absolute champ at nursing since day 1 - he latched on w/in minutes after being born and we were side-lying nursing the *FIRST NIGHT* (he was born at 11pm - so within *hours*!!!)!!!! Which was a huge difference from ds2 with whom I struggled for the first month or two getting him to latch and nurse properly... we didn't side-ly nurs till he was at least 1 or 2 months old....

Personally, I love this spacing. Ds2 is now nearly a year old (next saturday... :sniffle: my babies are growing up :sniffle: ) and they are starting to be able to play together which is simply *awesome*!! Watching them chase each other around is soo cute.

As another posterd noted, the worst was definetly diapers - we cloth diaper using bum geinus - ds1 had 40 2.0's and ds2 has 36 3.0s. DS1 didn't potty train till he was nearly 3 - so for a solid 5 or 6 months I was washing diapers every other day which was absolutely nuts. DS1 is now totally potty trained other than over night... I gave his old 2.0s to a friend (though I saved 5 or 6 for night time - I'm a lazy mom and would rather wash an extra diaper a day than deal w/ changing sheets every now and then!!).

I don't feel like I've missed out on anything w/ ds1 really. He's grown up a lot and had to accept that mommy can't play w/ him 24/7 as sometimes lil bro' needs mama more, and he's ended up watching a lot more tv than I ever dreamed he would, but it hasn't been too bad. And overall I'd say he's the better for it.

[mommariffic]

DD is going to be 3 in August and DS is a month old

How was it when you were pregnant?

Okay, pregnancy was the hardest thing. In the beginning it was a-okay; I wasn't really sick with my second pregnancy, had good energy, and was able to keep up with lots of the same activities we did pre-pregnancy which was awesome. Late in my third trimester I was really large/uncomfortable/exhausted all the time, and DD ended up going to the park with either our babysitter, or Dad or spending time with Grandparents so I could rest, which made me feel guilty.

Did you miss out on alot of baby's growing up and all the zillions of cute things they did?
Well, so far DS is only a month old so he's more like luggage that needs constant nursing/attention. The coo's and first smiles are def not missed though and we ALL enjoy them.

Did it damage any bond you had with your first?
Damage? No, but I do get more frustrated which is normal. It's hard because my patience is a little on the LOW side, so I find myself being more snappy but otherwise I still love DD the exact same and try to find balance between time with both kids, and special momma/daughter time.

Was it really really exhausting?
It's not that bad, seriously. I am not on the sleep deprived level I was with DD and I think the second one is wayyyy easier.
Was it hard to be so long caring for such little humans (like 5 or 6 years or something)
Can't answer this, but again not bad!

How was breastfeeding?
The only downside is that DD watches more TV so I can nurse/some things get put on the back burner the first few weeks like cooking huge meals or doing elaborate crafts because well, I'm always feeding little man.

Anything else?
Get help! I hired help for the whole summer [so I have my sitter for another month] and I don't regret it. DD and I are able to take special mommy/me time, and my amazing babysitter is able to give DD attention she needs while I simply enjoy my new babe. Worth every penny, and less guilt!

[Nicole730]

DS was 13 months when I got pregnant and 22 months when baby was born.

How was it when you were pregnant? - So much more tiring!! All throughout, not just the first and third trimesters.

Did you miss out on alot of baby's growing up and all the zillions of cute things they did? Which baby? I don't feel as though I missed any of my son's toddler firsts and none of my baby's either. But, I do not have as many pictures or videos of baby number 2.

Did it damage any bond you had with your first? - not at all, just recently the toddler is starting to get upset when I nurse the baby, but this didn't start until she was 4 months old.

Was it really really exhausting? - no, I am less exhausted now, than I was when I was just caring for one.

Was it hard to be so long caring for such little humans (like 5 or 6 years or something) - I don't think I can answer this one yet...but we plan on having four, each spaced about 2 years apart.

How was breastfeeding? - I had to stop nursing my son around 14 months, well he nursed until about 18 months, but milk production pretty much stopped around 14 months (I was about 7 weeks pregnant)

Anything else? - I totally love the 22 month spacing. The only part I didn't like was stopping nursing sooner than I wanted to. I will have the next one when my daughter is a little older, probably 26 months, so I can nurse her a bit longer.

[cappuccinosmom]

My boys are all 2 years apart. Their birthdays even fall within the same span of 7 days! (and no, we didn't do that deliberately )

How was it when you were pregnant?
No problems. When I got really sick I'd lie on the couch and watch kid-tv with my toddler.

Did you miss out on alot of baby's growing up and all the zillions of cute things they did?

Nope. And having a sibling introduced a whole new level of toddler cuteness directed at the baby.

Did it damage any bond you had with your first?

Nope.

Was it really really exhausting?
Yep.

Was it hard to be so long caring for such little humans (like 5 or 6 years or something)

Hard? Well sure, sometimes. I was sleep deprived for about 5 years. It was also immensly rewarding. I have three, and my youngest is now three, and those long nights and frustrating days were entirely worth it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat (and hope to soon!).

How was breastfeeding?

No probs there. My older two self-weaned at about 18 months because apparently my milk changed when I was pregnant. My youngest weaned at around 2.5. Never had any problems with nursing except a sad tendency to get mastitis.


Anything else?

I think the two-year spacing was really great. My three are far enough apart that they each got "baby" time, but close enough that as they get older, they become closer and closer. Now that they are 3-7, they can do a lot of things together and enjoy each other's company, and that will get even better as they get older and the years between them start to matter less. Only downside I can see is that they're all going to be strapping, voraciously hungry teenage boys at the same time.

[Stephenie]

DS was 23 months old when dd was born.

How was it when you were pregnant?
Not all that much harder, to me, though I was much healthier for my 2nd pregnancy than my first, so that is part of it.

Did you miss out on alot of baby's growing up and all the zillions of cute things they did?
Honestly, I have a hard time remembering her first months.

Did it damage any bond you had with your first?
Nope.

Was it really really exhausting?
DD's 16 months. It's less exhausting, but still a lot of work.

How was breastfeeding?
DD latched on right away etc, that was easier than the first time since I knew what I was doing. I tandem nursed though, and that is hard. I am glad I gave ds some more time, but I wouldn't tandem again.

Anything else?
It's hard, but my kids absolutely love one another. I wouldn't change it for the world.

[mommy2chloerae]

How was it when you were pregnant?
It was difficult at times. DD was high needs and still nursing. We moved and she had to have tubes put in her ears all at the beginning of pregnancy that made it a little rough. I was also a full time student and the exhaustion of the first trimester + having DD made me fall asleep on the couch many times (some of those times I forgot to wake up in time to pick DH up from work ). After the first trimester is was easier, but my milk supply went down and between that and how painful it was to nurse, DD was weaned (she was 28 months).

Did you miss out on alot of baby's growing up and all the zillions of cute things they did?
No? I'm not sure how having another would cause you to miss their milestones though. If anything the cuteness was intensified because I got to watch DD mature and become the big sister and see how her relationship with DS developed.

Did it damage any bond you had with your first?
No. I felt bad for her because she was weaned pretty suddenly, but since she screamed at every nursing session due to the nonexistant supply it actually helped because I could cuddle her and she got what she wanted from the cuddles rather than a feeling of frustration because she wasn't able to get anything like with nursing.

Was it really really exhausting?
Yes. It was both exhausting during pregnancy and after. The transition was a little rough since she was so high needs (thankfully DS was an easy going baby).

Was it hard to be so long caring for such little humans (like 5 or 6 years or something)
Yes but since there was little time between nursing one and nursing the other it was easy just to pick it back up again. It was overwhelming, but at the same time it didn't feel like I was "starting over." I am actually more concerned this time because with a 6 year old and 4 year old who are both in school and potty trained, I feel like I'm starting over lol.

How was breastfeeding?

Easy. He took to it like a champ and I was already confident because I had just done it for over 2 years.

Anything else?
For us, having a routine worked well (especially for bedtime). I have kept it up and will continue it this time around because it just makes our household flow better. I am also planning on preparing meals and whatever I can in advance because I remember the transition to 2 was overwhelming and I want to prepare as much as I can