So, I'm pretty new to this forum... here's my story in a nutshell - DH & I have always had issues, but when we got married (after dating for 9 years - my choice to wait), he was in therapy, on drugs for depression/anxiety, and working on limiting his time sitting on his ass in front of his computer (can you tell I'm bitter about THAT?).
Anyway, a few months after getting married, he gave it all up. Didn't like his therapist, drugs made him feel "numb" and he needed his all-precious "me time". Oy... well, DD was born and then DS was born and he just got worse & worse. Temper tantrums, treating me like I was either his mother or his sex toy, usually not giving me enough time to mentally switch from one to the other!
So, my family lives 1000 miles away from our house & I come down here with the kids for several weeks each summer (they're 4 and almost 2 now). This time, I also came down for my brother's wedding. DH came down for the wedding, pitched a fit about something stupid, and I ended up sending him home. That was in April; we're still living with my parents - which, honestly, is horrifying at 34 years old. :P
We've been "talking" online but not really getting anywhere until this last few weeks. He came down for a week to see DD & DS, and he WASN'T WEARING HIS WEDDING BAND. Nothing had EVER been said or mentioned or asked or assumed in regards to THAT. I was SO offended & hurt & upset, but held my tongue to keep it a good visit for the kids. I think he might even think I didn't notice. *moron*
To get to my point, we had a miserable video call this week with the kids where my DD (4) cried for a good 15 minutes to him that she wanted to go home, misses her Dada, etc., etc., etc. It was awful & hard on all of us. That night, DH sends me a message on Facebook (yeah, apparently we're 12), asking what our next step is. I told him I think a formal separation is in order. He tells me that he doesn't think it is, because he doesn't think we're even legally married anyway.
WHAT? We were married in Jamaica, but the US automatically recognizes legal marriages from that country; I checked when we were first married. Or "married", i guess. So now I'm all freaked out about WHY he's not wearing his ring, and what he's up to if he thinks we're not really even married. Lordy.
Anyway, I just played dumb and all "oh, okay"... Then I took off my ring. Then I started my list for things to ask the divorce lawyer to put in the agreement.
-ing jackass.
-vent over-
Anyway, a few months after getting married, he gave it all up. Didn't like his therapist, drugs made him feel "numb" and he needed his all-precious "me time". Oy... well, DD was born and then DS was born and he just got worse & worse. Temper tantrums, treating me like I was either his mother or his sex toy, usually not giving me enough time to mentally switch from one to the other!
So, my family lives 1000 miles away from our house & I come down here with the kids for several weeks each summer (they're 4 and almost 2 now). This time, I also came down for my brother's wedding. DH came down for the wedding, pitched a fit about something stupid, and I ended up sending him home. That was in April; we're still living with my parents - which, honestly, is horrifying at 34 years old. :P
We've been "talking" online but not really getting anywhere until this last few weeks. He came down for a week to see DD & DS, and he WASN'T WEARING HIS WEDDING BAND. Nothing had EVER been said or mentioned or asked or assumed in regards to THAT. I was SO offended & hurt & upset, but held my tongue to keep it a good visit for the kids. I think he might even think I didn't notice. *moron*
To get to my point, we had a miserable video call this week with the kids where my DD (4) cried for a good 15 minutes to him that she wanted to go home, misses her Dada, etc., etc., etc. It was awful & hard on all of us. That night, DH sends me a message on Facebook (yeah, apparently we're 12), asking what our next step is. I told him I think a formal separation is in order. He tells me that he doesn't think it is, because he doesn't think we're even legally married anyway.
WHAT? We were married in Jamaica, but the US automatically recognizes legal marriages from that country; I checked when we were first married. Or "married", i guess. So now I'm all freaked out about WHY he's not wearing his ring, and what he's up to if he thinks we're not really even married. Lordy.Anyway, I just played dumb and all "oh, okay"... Then I took off my ring. Then I started my list for things to ask the divorce lawyer to put in the agreement.
-ing jackass.-vent over-
to the OP.
And its lovely that your kids have extended family around them and they all get to know eachother.
