How old were your children when you first spent the night away?

[jellybeanmumma]

Just interested to hear from people about this topic. DS is 12months, still BF, Co-sleeps, has never STTN, we try to attachment parent. He's pretty high needs but usually really happy so long as these needs (holding, nursing, attention, presence) are met, and so far is usually with me or DH or both although when the in-laws come to visit he loves to spend a few hours with them. I'm pretty ok with always having him with us and as a SAHM have never had to pump and he still nurses quite a lot but does eat solids and sippy cups. Hoping for child led weaning down the track.
What has me wondering is a work mate of DH is in town with his partner for a few days and they have left DD behind. She is 10 months. For some reason this has brought stuff up for me - I used to be very independent and love to travel alone. Also DH and I could definitely use a night away but jut can't see it happening for a few years. So I guess I'm just wondering how/when other co-sleepers do nights away?

[34me]

My guys were much older, like sleepover age

[Maela]

We first left dd with grandparents when she had just turned two years old. She had just nightweaned a couple of months before. She did great. She stays a night at her grandparents once a month now. Once she went on a two day trip with her grandpa and cousin. It was harder on us than her.

We're waiting until Ds is two to leave him also. Two just felt like the perfect age to start for us. It seems like it's a long time to go to have a night to yourself, but it goes by fast.

We are the "weirdos" though among our friends and family.

[Peony]

At age 3-4 they can stay with grandma if they want to.

[Honey693]

DD will be 22 months when we leave her overnight with her gramma. She's been away from DH overnight since she was 8 weeks old (nights out are much easier when you don't have lactating boobs lol), but never from me. She pretty much sttn now, maybe waking a few times fro water or reassurance she isn't alone, but gramma has no problem sleeping with her and we'll only be 30 minutes way so I'm really looking forward to the break, especially since I'm 31 weeks pregnant right now.

[TerraNoelle]

I'm starting to think about this as well. My oldest is 3.5 and my youngest just turned 2. I've never spent a night away [except with second DS was born]. My 2 y.o. nurses through the night still and we do the family bed. My oldest would be fine however, he starts in his own bed at night per his leading. My youngest though wants only me at night.

I'm playing it by ear and reading cues to see if March 2011 may be good [our 5 year anniversary] I would love to celebrate just DH and I for one night. I will say honestly I'm not so much ready at the moment though.

[rightkindofme]

Around 2. She had a blast.

[spedteacher30]

DS was 15 months the first time I left him overnight. He stayed with my partner. She had spent the night away a couple of times starting when he was about 3 or 4 months old.

We tried to have a sleepover at grandma's last summer when he was 3.5, and he couldn't make it, so we picked him up. He just had one at grandma's last week at age 4.5--the first time he has been away from both parents at the same time!

[StephandOwen]

I left him for 1 night when he was 3 (I put him to bed first and came back around 10am the next morning). It was with his Grandpa the day we moved back in with him for a few months (the lease ran up on our apartment before we moved to another house). DS did fine

He will be 7 years and 2 months when we leave him overnight next time- it will be for 7 days and 6 nights while dp and I go on our wedding/honeymoon! He will be with his Grandpa, whom he loves to death and sleeps over there (with me) around 6-7 weekends every year anyway so he's used to sleeping there (and we used to live there too, when he was little).

Between the ages of 3 and 7 there just was never any need to leave him overnight.

[Flower of Bliss]

DD1 will turn 4 this month. We've never spent a night apart. DD2 was born at home, and I put DD1 to bed in my bed while in very early labor. She's spent under 10 nights total away from DH, when I took her to visit out of town family without him. Since he does her bedtime routine (for the last 6-8 months), I think she'd struggle more with being away from him at night now. If there was a situation that warranted it, I'd be ok with DD1 spending a night with DH w/o me, or perhaps with my mother.

DD2 will turn 1 this month. I've only just started leaving her with DH for a couple of hours I'm no where near leaving her overnight. She's still 99% breastfeed, and of course night nurses plenty. She plays with straw cups of water (mostly soaking her front), and some of the solids she plays with might actually get digested, but likely less than a full teaspoon full in a day.

[Maluhia]

It was about 2 1/2 I think, but she had DH while I was away for 10 days and she'd self weaned at about two.

She started sleepovers (at Grandmas) around 4, and on to friends' around 5

[zinemama]

20 months when I went away for a weekend three hours from home. Still nursing now and then. He was fine with dh although I had to express a little milk once or twice. Best trip I ever took.

[clemrose]

I didn't read all of the replies, but a quick scan of them makes me think my babe was the youngest to have a night w/o me. My ds was 9.5 mo when he spent the night w/my sister (it was less than a month ago). He did fine (cried for about seven seconds total at 4am when she reswaddled him). I had pumped (don't normally as I'm SAH) and was amazed that he took a bottle at 12:30 and then not another one until 4:30. With me the longest he goes is 2 hrs w/o nursing (lately it is every 45-min to an hour at night).

Anyway, he is a totally kick back baby in certain respects and I completely trust my sister to know when he needs me and when he can be comforted by her. And I got four straight hours sleep for the first time in a LONG time.

The funny thing is that my dd is 3.5 and her first sleepover (at my parents w/ my other sister) was only a month before my ds's! She has always been somewhat high needs and isn't a "natural" sleeper so I wouldn't have felt comfortable having her spend the night away when she was still nursing at night.

I think the right age depends on the child and the parents' feelings about the caregiver. I don't know if there is anyone I would have my son spend the night with but my sister.

[SubliminalDarkness]

With DS1, I think he was about 9 months.

With DS2, more like 18 months, and it was a fluke. He was over at my in-laws'(which was only a minute or two away) while we were moving. And he fell asleep, and apparently stayed asleep.
But we didn't do it more until he was past 2 because he was very high needs and very attached to me and he didn't do well away for long.

[prothyraia]

My older son was about....16 or 18 months or so when he first spent the night away from me (dad was there). It went fine, but didn't happen again for a long while. Come to think of it, though, the younger one has spent tons of nights without me since turning 18months, since I work the overnight shift frequently.

More to the point, they spent a night at gramma's for the first time without either parent at ages 3 1/2 and 22 months. We wouldn't have tried it before they were A) night weaned, and B) sleeping through the night mostly.

[bobandjess99]

MY dd first spent the night away from us at over 5 years old - at grammas house. MY 2.5 year old has not spent the night away from us.

[mom2allboys216]

I did things much different with my ODS and left him for the first night when he was only 14 weeks old. By that time, I had weaned him due to lack of knowledge and support about breastfeeding (DH supported me, but he was always working).

I did not leave my MDS until I went into the hospital to deliver our YDS. He was 19 months old at that point and it was extremely hard on the both of us. I stayed in the hospital for 5 nights while my LO stayed in the NICU. I just could not leave him behind to be bottle fed - he needed me! Leaving my YDS was extremely hard though, as he is the complete mama's boy and still really needed me.

I haven't left my YDS overnight yet, but I will be in October. My DH and I are going to a wedding an hour away and will be staying overnight. My GF is getting married only two weeks after our 5 year wedding anniversary, so the hotel room after the reception is our anniversary present

[akind1]

my MIL is itching to have DS overnight and alot of that side of the family just doesn't "get"my need to have him with me. I put it this way: I don't even like to sleep in a room separate from him. Why would I want him in a different house?

I do think the first time he will spend the night is whenever I give birth to his baby sibling (not pregnant yet, so obviously, will be a while!) I will be a VBAC so likely in a hospital - even if at home, it might be good to have him in a separate space

[iris777888]

Our DS had his first night away a few months after he turned three. We left him with his grandma, the person he is closest to after DH and I.

We first tried it out on a night where we could come get him if needed, in preparation to leave him a few weeks later to go to an out of town event. It went great! Grandma had new activities for him, special jammies, etc. and made it super fun. It meant an extra night apart, but gave us peace of mind when we were further away knowing that he would do well.

He still nurses to sleep sometimes, and in the night occasionally too, but that was not an issue. He just resumed as usual the following night.

[jellybeanmumma]

So glad I posted this. I don't feel like such a weirdo now for not wanting to leave DS till he's older. Some great ideas here to for when we finally do. It will definitely be with my in-laws (his Nanny and Poppy) and I like the idea of a trial run where we are close enough to come back if needed. There are enough horses, cows, chickens, sheep, dogs, birds etc there that he probably won't even notice we're gone!! Plus they probably wouldn't mind co-sleeeping him as they did this at some point with all 3 of their kids. I also liked the idea from one pp to go alone and leave him with DH for a night to ease into it. He's been alone with me loads of nights cause DH works a rotating roster. Think what really stirred me up was that the colleagues of DH that visited town without their 10 month old arrived while our DS was seriously teething so even 5 seconds apart would have been cherished!! But really great ideas here and feel revitalized to continue on our co-sleeping AP path