What's your perspective - Page 2

[Catubodua]

i ride in the back even for short car rides. i like being back there with him to play and talk to. hubby does the same when i drive.

baby never, ever comes out of car seat unless we are stopped somewhere. and i probably wouldn't drug, but i would plan ahead and leave when they would normally be sleeping.

i wouldn't want to let a babe scream for 6 minutes, nevermind 6 hours. if you must go, the 8 hour ride becomes 12 because you stop often, give them a break, change drivers so that there is someone new in the back with them, etc.

[Quinalla]

First of all, never, ever should a baby be taken out of the carseat! So, so unsafe.

Personally, I would consider benadryl if my pediatrician was ok with it and the trip was necessary as I think that is better for the baby than crying non stop for that long. But I would first try several other things:

We had a 5 hour trip that we did and some things that helped were a parent in the back playing with and soothing her. Lots and lots of toys. Leaving early in the morning and stopping as needed. Keeping the baby plenty cool (A/C running strong with baby in a onesie only works for us). Our trip there was great, our trip back was horrible as we left late after she missed her nap and she was too upset to sleep in the carseat most of the time and she needed sleep. Since we were driving home, we had to make the drive, but we ended up stopping 8 times as least to keep the crying at a minimum. And we've decided not to try another long trip until she is ~15 months.

[P.J.]

First of all, I would NOT take the baby out of the car seat, no way! If he/she's crying inconsolably for some while, I would pull over in a safe place and then stop to nurse and for a break. The trip might end up taking 12 hours instead, but that's just how it goes.

But my first thought was: would it be possible for only you or your husband to go, and the other partner stay home with the baby? (although this was only a theoretical situation wasn't it?) I would say whoever's great gramma it is should go alone. It's better than nothing, and it lets the baby stay 8-hour-car-trip free. If relatives get offended and don't understand, then that's not really your problem. Your first concern is to take care of your baby, not everyone else.

If I had a baby that absolutely hated car rides, I would not take him/her on an 8 hour car trip unless it was seriously some sort of life-or-death necessity. I would also look into flying if it was a very necessary trip (like a move).

[Grace and Granola]

My first baby hated the carseat until he was a year old and he NEVER, not ever, slept in the car. We were a 9 hour drive from family, so we flew for the first 2 1/2 years. There was no other option. At 2.5, we tried to make the drive through the night so he would sleep. It as AWFUL. He drifted in and out of sleep, cried, moaned, soaked through his diaper. awful. We didn't do it again for another year...then it got better!

So, I would say NO to all of your choices. But I would definitely try the suggestions for someone to sit in back and help soothe him. If that doesn't work, Either fly or don't go.

[EdnaMarie]

Okay, not reading the other responses. My thoughts are:

1. So, there is no way they did that straight. They must have had breaks. Could they lengthen the breaks? AFter all, they must have spent the whole day, why not a 12-hour day instead?

2. Was mom in the back seat with him and he still cried?

3. How many carseats have they tried to borrow? I mean... six hours, I believe some kids truly hate the car but honestly, six hours of crying means there is something genuinely wrong, either with the carseat, or something. PUt a towel over the window so it doesn't rattle or whistle.

4. Fly. An eight hour drive means there's a flight, there simply must be, and with cheap flights (and ability to plan) could they not have flown? Just this once?

I would not consider drugs, because you have to try them first and often they don't work for drowsiness. And they won't work for that long, so you still have hours of crying. I mean how much benadryl do you give your child?

Riding out of the carseat is not an option. It is unsafe, but also, it is very, very illegal!

I have missed a lot of family events so if we were in the States for one like that, we'd go, we just would. But I'll be darned if the baby cried for six hours. I can see one hour, for family, for a once-in-a-lifetime reunion-type thing.

[tallulahma]

Well, after just completing an epic road trip(over 2.5 months) with a 5yo,2yo and now 7month old i can say, 8 hours is waaaaaaaaaaay too long to do with a baby!!

We would leave right before nap time, I'd sit in back, with an arsenal of toys, and try to nurse him to sleep in a wrap before getting in. By 8 months, i would think it would be a little easier.

We made stops every 70-100 miles unless the baby was sleeping, if the baby is asleep- there is zero stopping.

We tried to stay out of the cat for at least an hour.

It made for 400 mile a day trips and meant that we never got anywhere in any short amount of time, but we made the trip about the trip and not the destination.

I could get 8 hours away in two days.

We did one or two days that were 14 hour drives- over 800 miles.

We left waaaaaaay early and stopped for a long time around dinner and drove from bedtime until 2am. All the kids slept from 8pm on.


Roadtrips are hard for kids, and babies. You have to stop a lot and let them RUN.

[Carlin]

I agree, 8 hours straight is too long. We've done several 8 to 12 hour trips with our DD over the last year. She's a pretty good traveller, but we find about 4 1/2 hours at a time is her max. What we do is:
1) Leave around nap or bed time
2) Bring lots of toys, books, snacks, water. After she wakes up I sit in the back with her and entertain her. It usually buys us an hour or 2.
3) Plan on taking a long break every 3 hours or so (If we are going to be in the car for much over 4 hours), to nurse, change and have a break, somewhere she can actually get down and move around, not just sit in a high chair in a restaurant.
4) Stop somewhere overnight. 2 4 hours drives is way more do-able than one 8 hour drive.

I wouldn't drug the kid, and definitely wouldn't take him out of his seat. If he's a really terrible traveller though, I would consider flying if possible. I'd also try him in a variety of different car seats to see if I could find one that worked better.

[boobs4milk]

benadryl is not safe for children under 6 years old.

[mamadelbosque]

I had a screamer - ds1 was a screamer from Day 1. He screamed irregardless of what you did (sat in the back w/ him, played music, ignored him, whatever) untill the day we turned him at 15 months (I then turned him back around a year later... and he's still rfing now at 3.5... but anywho). It just didn't matter. He would eventually cry himself to sleep... and car rides sucked, but there was nothing for it - we live out in the middle of nowhere and not riding in the car was simply not an option at least a few times a week for 30-60 minutes.

Honestly though, I probalby would try benadryl for that long of a ride... Oh and stopping every 15 or 60 minutes is not, IME helpful - it just makes them *THAT* much more mad when they have to back in. And thats via frequent 3-4 hour car rides across the state of ohio w/ ds1 who, as noted previously was a screamer. Good luck!!

[Asiago]

Originally Posted by Nicole730

If my baby was inconsolable in the carseat, I wouldn't make the trip.

Nor would I.

[flower01]

My DD hated car rides. I had to sit in back with her until she was forward-facing. Even with me playing, singing, talking to her she still cried a LOT. We tried everything and even 15 minute rides were torture. I definitely would not have taken a 6 hour road trip. Technology is really amazing now...I would skype with grandma during the party.

My son is much better in the car than his sister was, but he still can only take so much. At this point we still plan long car rides for very early in the a.m...as in we transfer their sleeping bodies into the car and pray that they stay asleep for a good couple hours before we stop for breakfast.

[EdnaMarie]

Originally Posted by mamadelbosque

Oh and stopping every 15 or 60 minutes is not, IME helpful - it just makes them *THAT* much more mad when they have to back in. And thats via frequent 3-4 hour car rides across the state of ohio w/ ds1 who, as noted previously was a screamer. Good luck!!

I agree with that. However, stopping when the child wakes up for a long time from a nap, would you agree that that is in order? Like every 2 - 3 hrs. ? Just curious about your perspective.

[bananabee]

Forget the baby, I'm not going on an 8 hr drive unless we're moving and it can't be avoided. I'd go if flying was possible, otherwise I'd send a nice gift and some flowers and spend some time on the phone with her.

[dmpmercury]

The only thing that works at that age is sitting in the back with them and singing and hadning them snacks. I never done that long with a baby that age. The longest I did was 3-4 hours and there needs to be a nap time in there and me sitting in the back and even still towards the end there was a little bit of crying.

I would break it up into two days of traveling with a stop somewhere if I had to do 8 hours or travel at night when the baby would sleep most of the time.

[rhiOrion]

We did a long trip when DD was 2.5 months old. It was 4 hours, then another 2.5 hours late that night, and then 4.5 hours home two days later.

DD was (is? I haven't gone anywhere longer than 15 minutes with her lately, and she's doing well with that now) a carseat hater.

I sat in the back with her and got her nice and snuggled with a soft blanket (over the straps, of course). I also had a little hand-held fan that I pointed at her- she seemed to like that. We turned to a blank radio station for the white noise (for some of the time-there's only so much of that we could take). I brought a crinkly toy with us for her to "play" with.

She still cried some. If I had it to do over I would have just stayed home. But I'd say she cried less than half the trip, and she did sleep some. I sat there with her and consoled her as best I could. I am very much not of the mindset to stop frequently if my baby is angry in the car. It just prolongs the trip. If I thought I could take her out and nurse her and then she'd be happy for a couple of hours, I'd do it, definitely. But in our case, as soon as I put her back in the carseat she would have started screaming again.

[OdinsMommy0409]

We wouldn't dream of a trip that length in the car with DS. The only possible way we could even travel for that amount of time would be if we drove through the night, with which I'm entirely uncomfortable and may not work with my frequent night-waker.

We wouldn't hold him aka take him out of his seat, nor make him CIO in the carseat, and putting someone in the back with DS only makes things 10x worse.

[elmh23]

BTDT with my oldest, except it was a 6hr trip. I sat in back with her and tried to keep her calm but there were times when we had to ignore it. Sucks, but it is what it is.

We did learn though that if we left at 3am or 4am, it would go a lot better and we could knock 3hrs (at least) out before babe woke up. Dd is now 5 and we still do trips this way (she has two younger brothers and even though they do a lot better in the car than she did, we've found it works great for everyone!)

[elmh23]

Originally Posted by boobs4milk

benadryl is not safe for children under 6 years old.

That's not true. You do need to ask the pharmacist for the proper dosage, but Benadryl is recommended for children with food allergies. I know I gave it to dd starting when she was 16 months old.

I wouldn't use it for these purposes though simply because your child is either knocked out by Benadryl or it makes them wired. Mine get wired.