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crying in carseat = CIO? - Page 2

post #21 of 31
I think it definitely depends on the circumstances. I couldn't handle my little one crying at all if I was driving. She didn't cry much usually assuming I fed her before the car, but when she did, she generally wouldn't stop and it killed me.

We went on a trip once when she was 5 months maybe? and it was absolutely awful. Nothing we did made her happy. She was DONE with the car. I definitely think it affected her. She started refusing the soothie and needing to be nursed to sleep (something she refused beforehand actually) and she was a bit more clingy and had some sleep issues again.

I think some general crying for shorter trips that are just because she doesn't want to be in her seat isn't the worst thing in the world, especially when you can try and soothe her a bit. However, I will not be taking a trip with the next baby til s/he is much much older. I also plan on just getting a convertable seat or finding a much much more comfy infant seat because I think part of the problem was the seat. I would have been uncomfortable and even sore too in a seat like that for so long.

I'm also going to agree with a PP that my little one just get worse if I was in sight of her. She could see me so why wasn't I holding her? It made it even worse because I had to try and help her without her seeing me and she didn't want anything but me holding her anyway. All I could think about was how my grandma held me in the car when I was about 2 months old on a trip because I wouldn't stop crying either. oh man how I wished it wasn't so unsafe and illegal to do that!
post #22 of 31
We had a car seat-hater for a while. We live in a rural area where driving must be done as a necessary part of life. I tried to keep trips short, but I found myself weighing her 20 minutes of unhappiness v. the hour of pleasure she'd get from new people/different environment. (Plus a happier, not-house-bound mom.)

I still went out every day. And every day I tried something different: pacifier; windows down/up; different kinds of music; toys; singing, howling; a fan blowing on her head; hanging pictures I drew from the headrest of the seat she faces; stopping to change/nurse/comfort; changing the timing of trips (when she was full/not full, or just before or just after a nap); convertible car seat.

Eventually, I think around 4 months? things got much easier. Wrist rattles were key for us, because it was something to play with that can't be dropped. Also, it's peculiar, but if I howl very loudly she will often stop crying and fall asleep. (My singing doesn't help though! Only howling.) Now she sometimes cries when we take her out of the car.

So yeah, maybe it was somehow unkind that I kept putting her in the car, but I also kept looking for ways to make it easier on both of us.

Good luck.
post #23 of 31
The car seat is the one place where my beautiful baby's needs are consistently not met. I hate it, he hates it, and it makes me feel so helpless. I moved from a suburban setting where driving is often a daily necessity to an intentional community. Here, there is a community kitchen and someone else does the shopping. I get in the car with the babe once a week tops. I'm not saying this lifestyle is right for everyone, but I encourage you to think outside the box.
post #24 of 31
I think it matters less about whether it is CIO and more if you are not comfortable with it. KWIM?

Can you breastfeed her while she is in the carseat? That is a skill I learned with DD2. I mean, the grocery store is a necessity, but a 30 minute car ride that gets DD all worked up and in return you worked up? EH not necessary. Maybe THEY could drive the 30 minutes to see YOU?
post #25 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommatoAandA View Post

Can you breastfeed her while she is in the carseat?
This is what I was going to suggest. This worked tremendously for my son, once on a long car ride. You find yourself being quite the contortionist, staying buckled, and reaching your LO.
post #26 of 31
I breastfed my baby in her carseat on our trip back form Texas to AZ.. It is also a controversal issues since it put both me and her at risk in the event of a crash but it was jsut oo long of a trip for me not to try something and she doesn't accept bottles or pacifers.. We still od course broke up the trip and EVERY time we stopped regarless if shes was upset with her seat or not at the time I got her out and walked her around. I've done many thigns to help with the tears..
HAving my older sing to her play with her hands and feet (as close to holding as possible)
me singing shhing ect
a CD of calming songs
bottles and pacifers (she took them for a short time)
a mirror where she can see herself
a teether/toy
breaking up the trip if needed
adjusting AC to be warmer or cooler
trying to time trips shes better in the AM ect...
Sometiems though yes shes at her end and shes had enough and nothing helps. Its heartbreaking. Not what I'd define as CIO though though it doesn't make it easier.

deanna
post #27 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by slimkins View Post
This is what I was going to suggest. This worked tremendously for my son, once on a long car ride. You find yourself being quite the contortionist, staying buckled, and reaching your LO.
assuming you're not alone, driving - because that would be amazing
post #28 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1blueheron View Post
assuming you're not alone, driving - because that would be amazing
soo true I mean I'm pretty big in the boobie area but not THAT much.

Deanna
post #29 of 31
We've had this issue. In the beginning I refused to go anywhere unless I had to. I don't really care how many people tell me that the baby won't die from it, death is not my indicator of good care KWIM? I did find as he got older it got better because of object permanence. Then he did better if I wasn't in the backseat. For longer drives I only go based on when his naps are, I don't 'just wait a few more minutes' I leave. for shorter rides I have a bag of tricks. Toys he rarely sees and I hand them to him one at a time. This helps.

I'm a bit unyielding on my parenting and unapologetic but AP parenting creates independent children who think for themselves. Which lead to independent capable adults...not spoiled princesses (unless that is who they truely are)
post #30 of 31
Not to compare a babe to a toddler - but I've done multiple trips with my two year old screaming in the backseat. We had some where to go, she had to come... not much I can do about it.
post #31 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1blueheron View Post
assuming you're not alone, driving - because that would be amazing
Quote:
Originally Posted by octobermom View Post
soo true I mean I'm pretty big in the boobie area but not THAT much.

Deanna
no, I wasn't driving. I might be good, but not that good. And even now that I am breastfeeding, on a good day... I am full B and that's it.

Good luck, OP. I would only make her ride in the car for necessities. I have also found that my son likes louder music and he loves his little mirror. Although, he has never had a problem in the carseat.
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