Ideas to get 18 mo to sleep wo nursing?

[simplelife15]

18 mo DS has slept with us from the beginning and still nurses at night. I've always nursed him to sleep at bedtime which was fine when it only took 10-30 minutes. The last couple of weeks however he'll nurse and nurse and nurse...upwards of an hour or more. By that point both my mood and my breasts are irritated, and he's still nowhere near asleep.

He's not a kiddo that does well on a consistent sleep schedule (naps or nighttime) since any little milestone sets him off on a new one and we've found it easier to just go with the flow.

Our bedtime routine consists of waiting for him to get tired (which depends on how long/how many naps he's had that day), reading two or three books, then lights out and nurse to sleep. Up until a couple of weeks ago bedtime was always between 7:30-8:00. Lately I've been taking him into bed with me around 9:00, he reads one story or refuses any at all, dives right into nursing, and an hour or so later I tell him mamas is all done and it's time for sleep. He proceeds to scream "mamas" and paw at my shirt. Eventually (usually after 10 minutes or so, but one night we went half hour) I give in and, since the tantrum has worn him out, he'll fall asleep nursing within 10 minutes.

I would love to find a gentle, tear/scream free way to fix this but don't know how. I like going to bed early with him since I get up early so I don't necessarily want to enlist DH's help. Ideally I want to nurse him as part of the bedtime routine and then have him fall asleep with us cuddling, but I don't quite know how to make that transition.

We're both getting frustrated...Ideas please!

[Homebirth_Mom216]

This might be a little late to respond - maybe you figured out a plan already, but here is what we did. I eventually, like you, got sick of nursing for who knows how long before DS would finally clonk out. Then if he woke up he cried until I'd nurse him back to sleep again so finally I said to myself - nope, no more nursing to sleep. He was about 15 months or so.

The first day or two, he did cry and get upset about it for awhile but I was lying right there hushing him and rubbing his back and singing to him, so he cried to sleep, but it was a very gentle way of crying to sleep. Within a couple of days he just knew that we don't nurse to sleep now and wouldn't really ask or get upset. He still gets really squirmy and does a few gymnastics before his body is ready to rest and sleep, but he got over not nursing to sleep really quickly.

After we stopped nursing to sleep, our "going to bed" time seemed so much happier for me and DS because we could just cuddle or poke eachother's noses or talk instead of just nurse nurse nurse nurse nursing. Plus, as soon as we stopped that, DS all of a sudden figured out he doesn't need to wake me up to nurse every time he wakes up a little bit. We are all happier.

I would just suggest that if you decide you don't want to nurse to sleep and you tell him "no nursing now, let's lay down and sleep", don't give in 10 minutes later because then he won't take your "no" seriously and will just assume that he is not crying long/hard enough to get you to change your mind. It will be harder for him to settle down. If you decide not to nurse to bed anymore, let your decision stand, it'll be much easier on him and he'll get over it in a few days especially if you are there with him soothing him.