I really am feeling totally lost here and could use some support and advice. This will probably be long; sorry.
DS is 20.5 months old. As he's coming into himself more and his communication abilities are growing (almost talking in complete sentences now), things seems to be falling apart a bit around here and i feel like a total loser mom. Basically, he completely falls apart the minute he doesnt get what he wants, and Im terribly bothered by how upset he gets.
I have no idea what to do or what the appropriate, healthy GD thing to do or say would be when I find us in certain situations. I have no idea whats normal or not normal or good or bad.
Much of our day is spent with DS in complete melt-down mode. Again, when he doesnt get what he wants immediately he falls apart and screams and cries.
Very General Example: We're drawing on a large piece of paper on the floor with washable markers and he keeps drawing on the floor. After 3 or 4 times of me redirecting his hand back to the paper and saying 'We only draw on paper, we dont draw on the floor, paper is for drawing..', I will say 'The markers will go byebye if we draw on the floor; we only draw on paper.' and when he draws on the floor again, I take the markers away, explaining again with as few words as possible why Im taking them away. Total meltdown.
What do I do at this point? Ignore the tantrum, or try to comfort him and explain why? Let him continue to draw on the floor? Try to quickly get him interested in something else? I have no idea whats right, or what to look for that might tell me if what I did was right or understood by him. I know this example may sound lame/ordinary, but we have about 8 million of these kind of situations happen each day and they really stress me out. I just want to do right by him. And I struggle with being consisten about what I do in response to him because I really get thrown when he gets that upset...
He also still nurses a great deal; which I love and am happy to do. However, he is incredibly demanding about it now. If I dont drop what Im doing immediately and nurse when he asks, we have a total meltdown then as well. What have I done to create this? Is it my fault? Is it just the way he is? I dont feel its healthy for either of us to have things be this way at this point. What can I do to help him be more patient? I have no problem with the nursing, just with the demanding manner of asking and the meltdowns that ensue if he's not nursed within 6 seconds of having yelled, "NUSS!!".
In the past months I just feel he's gone from a super happy and sweet little guy to a fairly miserable one who is unhappy a great deal of the time. This change seems to have coincided with a huge language explosion --- going from single words or two-word phrases to stringing 5 or 6 words together correctly for statements and questions. I guess I thought increased ability to communicate would make things smoother! Silly mama.....
Any thoughts or advice? Again, thanks for reading this far.
DS is 20.5 months old. As he's coming into himself more and his communication abilities are growing (almost talking in complete sentences now), things seems to be falling apart a bit around here and i feel like a total loser mom. Basically, he completely falls apart the minute he doesnt get what he wants, and Im terribly bothered by how upset he gets.
I have no idea what to do or what the appropriate, healthy GD thing to do or say would be when I find us in certain situations. I have no idea whats normal or not normal or good or bad.
Much of our day is spent with DS in complete melt-down mode. Again, when he doesnt get what he wants immediately he falls apart and screams and cries.
Very General Example: We're drawing on a large piece of paper on the floor with washable markers and he keeps drawing on the floor. After 3 or 4 times of me redirecting his hand back to the paper and saying 'We only draw on paper, we dont draw on the floor, paper is for drawing..', I will say 'The markers will go byebye if we draw on the floor; we only draw on paper.' and when he draws on the floor again, I take the markers away, explaining again with as few words as possible why Im taking them away. Total meltdown.
What do I do at this point? Ignore the tantrum, or try to comfort him and explain why? Let him continue to draw on the floor? Try to quickly get him interested in something else? I have no idea whats right, or what to look for that might tell me if what I did was right or understood by him. I know this example may sound lame/ordinary, but we have about 8 million of these kind of situations happen each day and they really stress me out. I just want to do right by him. And I struggle with being consisten about what I do in response to him because I really get thrown when he gets that upset...
He also still nurses a great deal; which I love and am happy to do. However, he is incredibly demanding about it now. If I dont drop what Im doing immediately and nurse when he asks, we have a total meltdown then as well. What have I done to create this? Is it my fault? Is it just the way he is? I dont feel its healthy for either of us to have things be this way at this point. What can I do to help him be more patient? I have no problem with the nursing, just with the demanding manner of asking and the meltdowns that ensue if he's not nursed within 6 seconds of having yelled, "NUSS!!".
In the past months I just feel he's gone from a super happy and sweet little guy to a fairly miserable one who is unhappy a great deal of the time. This change seems to have coincided with a huge language explosion --- going from single words or two-word phrases to stringing 5 or 6 words together correctly for statements and questions. I guess I thought increased ability to communicate would make things smoother! Silly mama.....
Any thoughts or advice? Again, thanks for reading this far.
I'd either mandate working at a table or stick to crayons.
