Suggestions needed - how to reconcile day care and unschooling philosophy

[sapphos]

Hoping some other mamas might have some wisdom to share

Our daughter has never been to daycare and preschool was absolutely not on the horizon but things have temporarily changed and we MIGHT have to get some child care help. Since this was something I had never considered I'm at a loss at what resources to check out.

Essentially - the possibility of both dh and I working (and not same hours) is really likely. We don't want to put her in preschool - I shudder when I read all these descriptions of "academics" and "my daughter is being given lots of homework and being challenged mentally" etc etc. If we have to do this, my ideal is a place where she can play and be around people who aren't telling her how to draw something or pushing her to write letters etc. She's her own little person and is a bit shy sometimes but has been coming into her own and I absolutely don't want to kill that.

So I've begun checking the homeschool groups a bit for resources but other than that does anyone have any ideas? I can't do child care in my own place and have thought about trying to do pet sitting again or even house cleaning simply for the flexibility but we are sharing one car.

otherwise ideas on how to find a solution? (oh and we're near two universities).

thanks so much!

[Arduinna]

You should be able to find home daycare that is not preschool centered. Or are you only wanting an out of home care giver? I know some people are more comfortable with a center since there are multiple adults there.

[LauraN]

Aw, L, I wish I could watch that sweet girl for you! Have you considered a Montessory pre school? I think the early years are a bit more free-flowing than the older ones. Also a church "playschool" can be more play-based and less academic. Another option is to see if a college student would sit for you--you could ask them to take her to hs groups and other activities. Or see if a hs mama would take her in.
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[SundayCrepes]

We had to put our son in preschool for 2.5 months. He was in a school with a Reggio Emelia philosophy. I got the sense it was essentially unschooling for a group in an educational setting. I was pleased with how the teachers interacted with the kids. Perhaps you can look for a similar place near you.

[SundayCrepes]

I just did a google search http://www.google.com/search?sourcei...o+emelia+miami

Reggio emelia miami and got 290,000 results.

[sapphos]

Originally Posted by LauraN

Aw, L, I wish I could watch that sweet girl for you! Have you considered a Montessory pre school? I think the early years are a bit more free-flowing than the older ones. Also a church "playschool" can be more play-based and less academic. Another option is to see if a college student would sit for you--you could ask them to take her to hs groups and other activities. Or see if a hs mama would take her in.
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thanks everybody for the suggestions. Hi Laura

I've been checking out the options that you've all suggested and heard the same thoughts from another unschooler I know personally.

We're going to try the hardest to still keep working on DH being the one to have the FT job with as little to no overlap as possible. I have occasional freelance work from home which I'm trying to step up but OMG my brain has a really tough time focusing on work when I've got everyone vying for my attention!

I think once we're resettled it will help a lot but the hardest thing for me has been the thought of putting our munchkin with someone else She's not the shy kid she used to be but she's so sensitive and so innocent around other kids and I would hate to have her lose that so early.

There are a couple of Reggio schools - they're not cheap though, and a couple of other options as well.

Anyone have any suggested key words for searches other than daycare? I've tried under play based daycare, play based preschool (what an oxymoron eh) and such but since I haven't thought about this 'till now I'm not sure what to use.

Thanks again though for all the great ideas

[physmom]

Hi!

We were basically in the exact same situation and I just wanted to tell you that it is possible to find entirely playbased daycares (actually, most that I have seen are very unstructured and let children do their own activities). The one DD is currently at is basically a dream come true for us. It's a multi-age environment (0-12 years) and they have ton of available activities that they let children pick on their own. They might occasionally do something (like go to the playground, have baby pools out or put on music and dance) but it's certainly not like "it's monday at 2pm and now we need to do xyz".

It was a rough transition at first because of a lot of separation anxiety and it's in a third language that she had only heard passively. BUT after a couple of weeks she really started enjoying it and now has a lot of friends there and the workers there are always raving about how friendly and loving she is.

Personally, I'd just look at the daycares that are nearby your work and your home and just tour them and ask questions. If they do stuff like circle time and letter of the week etc, just steer clear!

If you have any questions just let me know! Good luck!

[sapphos]

okay so silly question - in a more relaxed daycare setting should I be looking at whether they require naps, if structure exists do kids have other options, etc? what would be some good q's to ask other than the obvious ones of care. Really it's obvious I haven't done this before LOL and I'm sure we'll have different q's overall than a more mainstream family! Already, we'll have to deal with vaccine exemptions.

I saw one French daycare which could be interesting since DH is French and dd doesn't get much exposure other than daddy but they have somewhat structured schedule and I certainly don't want to force that on dd if she doesn't want it.

[physmom]

DD has been to two different daycares. One was only for a very, very short time (1 week) and then there is the current one that she is at. In both cases they followed her signals and if she wanted to sleep they would let her if not, (and she wasn't cranky) that was no big deal either. At her currrent daycare (the other one she was at she was only 3 months old so it's a completely different age range) they normally rock the kids to sleep in their strollers (that's perfect for DD since it's the only way she'll sleep without nursing). If she's tired and/or cranky they take her out for a walk and she normally falls asleep, which is, honestly, exactly what DH would do if I wasn't home anyways.

Just never assume anything. Ask a TON of questions because every place is going to have their own policies. A french daycare may be a lot of fun (I have no experience myself) but if it helps with language skills that's always a plus! And they might be able to put you guys in contact with other french speaking familes.

We never got any vaccine questions... but then again our current daycare is not in the US so that could be part of it. The only structure they have at all really is that lunch is at a set time, which makes sense since the lunch is provided there.