Originally Posted by Amila
Wow. I can't believe the direction this thread took! Thank you for all of the supportive comments. And the not so supportive ones, well I don't know what to say about all of them. For the record, I DID feed my son between the hours of 5 am and 10 am, thank you very much. The child eats a LOT. And even though he was snacking on blueberries and cereal all morning does not mean he wasn't excited for the eggs and bacon he knew was coming.
And he was NOT strapped in to his highchair, left to cry, his needs un-met. He struggled to get strapped in, I tried letting him sit in it unstrapped, when that didn't work, I tried letting him sit in a "big boy" chair, and when he was still upset, he sat on my lap, with crackers, until the food came, and was fine at that point! I didn't get up and remove him from the situation immediately because 1. it wasn't going on long enough for me to feel that necessary, and 2. I wanted to look at the menu and figure out what to get so we could order ASAP. I really don't think there was anything about what happened that left my parenting skills up for question. Perhaps I wasn't specific enough in my OP.
We go out to eat a LOT; we all enjoy it. I am with my kids 24/7, so them coming with me and DH is just how it goes. Some days they are perfect angels, some days they aren't. I don't take them to restaurants where I feel they have to "be seen and not heard" If for some reason we are at a nicer restaurant for a birthday or something, well then I am a little more pro-active in not disturbing others. And yes, of course I LOVE going out to eat withoug them, but in our situation, DH and I don't get that chance very often.
The real issue is with my mom, and me coming to terms with the way that she has changed, and her utter lack of understanding and support. She looks at me with an eyebrow raised for having 2 kids and one on the way, loves the "glory" of having grandchildren, but doesn't really care much about anything but her own life. And it is upsetting.
Yeah this isnt really about 2 yr old behavior. Its about you and your mom.
My sister and I have a similar situation with our mother.
I fortunately am the one who finally came to accept who she is and stop letting myself get disappointed and hurt that she doesnt act like the ideal mother. My sister can never get over it. Her expectations are to high and she just always hopes for more.
My mother has a boyfried for 10 yrs and her social life w/ friends and her boyfried ALWAYS is her priority. She doesnt come to see my kids unless its because she has nothing else more interesting to do.
I know she loves them and is a wonderful grandmother when she with them, but I also know I cant count on her the way it would be nice too.
There isnt really any point to talk about it because she is who she is.
Another person posted about your mom being able to tell you straight out what she thinks (like that she's mortified or what ever)
If it was done in the right situation I agree, but she should have helped you or took part in what was going on instead of just sitting there judging you.
If she tried everything to help and your toddler was still carrying on and it was an out of control situation, she would have had every right to say "Dont you think its time to leave? or I dont think this is a good time of day to go out w/ the babies". Or even given you advice.
I dont think she was justified to say she was mortified.
It isnt going to get resolved or stop till you have a talk w/ her.
Your kids are still little now and if she doesnt know how insulting her comments are. It will just get worse as they get bigger and make you more upset.
Do you think she would stop saying such things if she really knew how unkind they were?