Nitty, Gritty Divorce questions...

[single_cj]

Okay, so I'm just starting the whole separation/divorce process and I'm getting so overwhelmed by all the information & options out there...

How do you decide between a lawyer & a mediator?? How much does each cost?? Lord, I've heard from between $3K and $20K for a lawyer and between $1K and $5K for a mediator... My God, why can't I just sign a damn piece of paper??

[Purple*Lotus]

I filed by myself, but the cost will vary depending on where you life. Probably not more than a few hundred dollars that way. However, we have no kids and do not own anything together. It was a ton of paperwork, though. I can't afford either a lawyer or a mediator so I had to do it by myself.

[One_Girl]

I was going to file by myself and it would have been really cheap, but my ex started dating and popped and was asking for way more visitation than he was showing up for so I got a lawyer. It cost about $1600 and it was worth every penny. I had to put down an initial $2500 down payment just in case it got nasty but he was all talk and no fight.

[blessedwithboys]

Where I live, you are required to go to mediation if you have children or assets. No choice, you must go for a one hour session. If you don't succeed in making an agreement, you then go before the judge. Mediation is on your own, without lawyers, even if you have one on retainer.

[RollerCoasterMama]

When I was looking into it, a one-lawyer, non-contested divorce was going to run about $1300-$1500. It's ended up only costing $400 since I had a DUH moment thanks to another thread here and realized I could sign up for our legal benefits through work. I didn't even think about it since I turn it down every year, but it's been great! Just thought I'd bring it up in case you've got a benefit through work you are forgetting about.

$3000-$20000 would be in line if you anticipate a big fight over everything. In the past year, I've known two co-workers that had custody disputes and exceeded the number of free hours we get with our benefit for a divorce. One owed an extra $1200 and one owed an extra $12,000.

Just depends on your situation.

[DeerMother]

If there is any history of verbal, emotional, physical or any other kind of abuse, I'd highly reccomend you stay away from mediator.

It seems like in your situation, he's in a hurry to get out. ( I'm assuming a lot, I know) I'd prob go with a lawyer. Read the "what you wished you would have put in agreement/parenting plan" thread. Take some notes and show up to lawyer with some general ideas of what you want.

[ZoeyZoo]

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[single_cj]

I'm in a hurry to get out, too, honestly, now that the decision has been made. The only thing there MIGHT be a fight over is the children, and even that shouldn't be TOO bad. He's given me permission to live out of state with them and doesn't want full custody. I think it's just going to come down to who "gets them" (God, I hate that terminology) for holidays, etc.

He can have the house, I don't want alimony, and as long as he lets me take my "stuff" from the house, he can have the rest! Good riddance!