3rd grader wants to go to school

[kittywitty]

My 8 yo son has told me he is thinking about starting public school here. He wants more friends-he has one he does not see often. He has more during soccer season, but as we homeschool-which is *very* uncommon here, it's hard to make friends. There are no playgroups we can attend and the only homeschool group is ultra-conservative and we are not...accepted religiously so that is out of the question. There's nothing else-YMCA, anything. We live in a very rural area that is socially isolated with cliques. I feel bad for him but there's nothing I can do about it.

However, he has SPD and the schools here just laid off 20% or so of teachers and staff with a huge budget crisis. He likely will have a huge class overburdened by children and a lack of special ed for his needs. He can be "mainstreamed" but just needs extra patience with his moving around and visual processing issues. I know from volunteering at the school here (for a class) that they use candy as bribes for everything and every day.

I just finished homeschool planning for this year and we have to register Tuesday if he decides to. I am very sad about this. I don't want him to at all. It would be a huge hassle, I would never get to see him, and I know I can provide the environment he needs that is more conducive to learning with his SPD. But I understand his loneliness-I'm feeling it, too.

I just don't know what to do. Anyone know of a site that talks about what happens in a 3rd (or thereabouts) grade classroom? Schedule, details, etc.? He's never been to school before. I know here that there is art, music, and PE only once a week for a short time each which are his favorite things, so that will be disappointing to him, but that's all I can really recall from my volunteering.

[confustication]

I hope you can come to an agreement. My 8 year old 'kind of' wants to go to school as well. However, as we talk about it more, she wants the social stuff, not the 'school' aspect. As a result, we came to an agreement that we will continue to homeschool and actively seek out more social activities for her. She did two years of public school, and she learned well how to be bullied, how to fear punishments, how to be told she had to experience things a certain way because all the other kids did, and she learned what anxiety attacks feel like- every Sunday night before bed. It was a terrible experience for her- she also is SPD/Aspergers as well as gifted.

Very simply, if the school can't provide the environment she needs, and she is not old enough and mature enough to effectively advocate on her own behalf and have the administration listen, this is a decision that is not in her hands.

FWIW, I let her do the summer enrichment program through the school this summer. It ended Friday, and her behavior is SO much better than it has been since the start of the summer. She very much wanted to go, but it was hard on her. I can't see her doing well at all for an entire school year.

[LauraLoo]

Is part-time enrollment an option? For example, in my state a child can attend school on a part time basis for non-core curriculum classes such as PE, Art, Music, Foreign Language, etc. I know of other states that have other types of cooperative agreements with the HS community.

[lach]

I was going to ask about part time options, too. You might also have more flexibility because he has some special needs. Perhaps you can try something like he attends in the morning and leaves at lunch.

[kittywitty]

I talked to a friend whose daughter is in the Sp Ed program, and no there is no part time enrollment. Budget here is in crisis state with no band, special ed almost gone, assistants gone, everything, so I doubt they'd be willing to work with me-they don't get funding if the kid is not there full time, last I checked.

I talked to dh about this and he also is against sending him-especially this year. I had my ds talk to my little brother who is starting high school in another state. I didn't tell him to encourage/discourage so he just talked to him about what school is like and why ds would want to go and ds is now really leaning against going. I think he just imagined it was this fun all day party where you hang out with kids and do art. But after looking up a 3rd grade class schedule, talking to my brother, and having our first day of "homeschooling" for this year today (I have a baby due in Nov, so we are starting early), he is not as gung-ho about public school. If we had the money for the private school here or had a local Mont/Waldorf/other private school, I wouldn't worry so much, but with the schools here and the budget issues, it's very worrisome to me.

[ChristaN]

I was thinking the part-time thing too -- darn! I'm just going to brainstorm here.

You are the adult and ultimately the one who is going to decide what is best for him given his age, but I understand not wanting him to feel like he is being forced to homeschool. What other options do you have for social outlets outside of soccer?

My 9 y/o has been infinitesimally more happy since she starting taking regular musical theatre/drama classes. She's a huge extravert and it has been really good for her. Can you sign him up for any other extracurricular activities?

Since you say that you don't have a lot of homeschoolers locally, this may be wishful thinking, but do you have anything like a homeschool supplement program? We have something called Options Schools locally.

That's all I can think of at the moment!

[Serendipity]

Can you travel a few hours away once a month to another homeschool group?

[kittywitty]

I have had trouble contacting a hs group 1.5 hours away, and that's the next closest. There may be one joining an hour away but meeting tuesday afternoons. We really don't have the money to drive too far away and there is a new baby coming, so I'm uncomfortable being that far from home at least until Spring.