How to deal with 3yos fear

[LaughingHyena]

DS is 3 1/2 and is a pretty intense child. We suspect he has sensory processing issues and he'll be having some assessments when preschool starts again in Sept.

Our biggest issue at the moment is his fear of hand driers in public toilets. He has never liked loud noises and always hated us actually using the driers but as time has gone one he has got much worse. We had an incident where he walked under an automatic drier and set it off. Now he will not go into the toilets if there is a hand drier, or extractor fan.

It is to say the least frustrating and he's having accidents because he now won't tell me he needs to go when he knows the toilets have hand driers (eg supermarket, library etc)

Does anyone have any suggestions to help him get over this?

[LynnS6]

What about getting him some ear protectors that you carry with you for use in the bathrooms?

If I'd known about Peltor Jr. earmuffs when ds was little, I would have invested in them!

I know it's not getting him 'over' the fear, but it's giving him a coping mechanism.

[LaughingHyena]

Thanks I will have to look into them. Actually I have some small ear defenders I use for DIY, I wonder if he would wear those?

I have been treating most of these quirks as a phase that he will like grow out of (while hoping that is soon ). It's only recently that the preschool have recommended having him assessed that I've started reading more and realising that I don't think he's going to outgrow them any time soon. Coping strategies are exactly what we need.

I've also put a bottle in the car for emergencies, so I'll at least have a strategy if he'll tell me he needs to go!

[Tigerle]

DS is very sensitive to loud noises and had a bad hand drier fear phase when he was a little younger than yours. He would also refuse to enter a bathroom if he saw one at first and needed a lot of coaxing, but he would eventually go, making a wiiide berth around the machine. Explaining what set them off and promising that no-one was going to do that while we were in there (you may need to wait for others to leave or stand watch) did help. Control over the situation seems to be a big deal. We used ear protectors a few times, but mostly allowed him to choose how much noise to tolerate in a given situation ie by changing the room or keeping a distance whenever feasible. Refusing to enter public bathrooms at all would warrant trying out ear muffs, I think - just knowing that the ear muffs are an option may help!
I have to say it has been steadily getting better with maturity, and he does not appear to have any other SPD flags except for some mild sensory seeking behaviour, so we think this is just an isolated oversensitivity. He also used to freak at the extractor fan in my in-laws house. Now he just complains about it, but will stay and use the toilet, just be rather rushed doing so! A few months ago, he freaked at a friend's toy power chain saw (the friend of course started chasing him with it...), now he plays happily with his own that he was given for his third birthday and that I kept hidden on the wardrobe until recently. At first he covered his ears trying it out and demanded ear muffs, turned out they weren't in the house, so he decided playing with the saw was too much fun to forego. His current emotional state seems to play a big role in just how fearful he is in a given situation - is there something else going on in his life?

[LaughingHyena]

I can't think of anything else going on right now that should make things worse. Loud noises have always bothered him, he hates the vacuum cleaner. With plenty of warning he will now tolerate sitting in another room with his hands over his ears. Things that he has been OK with like singing at toddler group he will now put his hands over his ears and retreat under a chair.

Food is also an issue that I think is getting worse, though I think some of it may be that he starting to be able to tell us what is bothering him. He regularly objects to things being too hot, too cold, too crunchy, too soft.

So far he has had his hearing tested and we've been to a speech therapist as we thought his frustration at not being understood was the problem. His hearing is fine and although the therapist felt his speech was a little delayed she did not feel that he needed any more sessions.

His preshool disagree sine they can understand very little of what he is saying so they will be asking the therapist to work with him there (she comes in regularly anyway)

The preschool are also worried about his social skills (or lack of). He does not interact with the other children and only occasionally responds to the staff. He will only play at the craft table and is very defensive of the pieces of paper he has cut up. They must all remain just so on the table. He also has intense tantrums if the routine changes in any way.