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45 lb 19-month-old (they say she's too big!)

post #1 of 107
Thread Starter 
I have a big, happy 18-month-old who is very healthy and developmentally normal. But lately, a lot of people in my life, people I even have trusted in the past for parenting advice, are starting to look at her and question if she's overweight! And if I should do 'something about it'.

My husband and I are both stunned by this reaction to our healthy, lovely girl. Like there is something wrong with her natural size! To be perfectly clear, she eats a lot of fruit, some veges, chicken, yogurt, cereals...mostly, she's still breastfeeding a lot and grazes on solids off and on during the day. This is how I raised my son, with self-guided weaning and a slow intro to solid foods. That went just fine! And it seems to be going just fine for my baby girl, other than the fact that other people seem hyper-aware of her weight "problem".

SIGH. I guess I just came on here for moral support. Please tell me that I'm not crazy! That my daughter IS fine and that these other people don't know what they're talking about.

To be honest, I don't even know how I'd slow her weight gain if I had to! She's just breastfeeding, primarily! All that chunk is from breastmilk!
post #2 of 107
How active is she? I only ask because 45 lbs at 19 months is quite big.. I weighed 45 lbs when I was 7 years old. I would probably talk it over with your ped, but as long as she seems healthy, active, and is developing normally, she is probably fine. Does she have any issues that could be related to thyroid? That can sometimes cause excessive weight gain.... I am not a doctor, so this is just my 2 cents.
post #3 of 107
45 lbs is very large. My 6 year old is 45 lbs and he is in the 50-70 percentile. I don't know what to tell you. My 19 month old is 23 lbs and is a good healthy size. How tall is she? Your friends are right to be concerned. She could develop hip bone problems with that extra weight. Hopefully she will grow into it. I would have her thyroid checked just to be on the safe side.
post #4 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 View Post
How active is she? I only ask because 45 lbs at 19 months is quite big.. I weighed 45 lbs when I was 7 years old. I would probably talk it over with your ped, but as long as she seems healthy, active, and is developing normally, she is probably fine. Does she have any issues that could be related to thyroid? That can sometimes cause excessive weight gain.... I am not a doctor, so this is just my 2 cents.
I agree. 45 lbs is bigger than my almost 7 year old son and seems very large for a 19 month old (my 18 1/2 month old is 22 lbs, so that's my point of comparison). What does her pediatrician say? Thyroid problems and diabetes can both cause excessive weight gain (you say she eats mainly fruit, and some vegetables...fruits are pretty high in sugar, and although it's natural sugar, you *can* get too much of it...and if she has diabetic tendencies, it could be a problem). In addition, yogurt & cheese are pretty high in calories too (and the yogurt is high in sugar). And depending on the cereal, it may or may not be healthy cereal (are we talking about froot loops, or are we talking about homemade granola, for example)

Honestly, 45 lbs for an 18/19 month old *is* overweight. Now, whether overweight is normal for her, well, that's something you and her pediatrician know best. But yes, there are weight charts and yes, 45 lbs for an under 2 year old does indicate that she is over what is typically considered an appropriate weight.

How are her milestones? Is she sitting, standing, walking, running ok?

I'd get her thorougly checked out to make sure there is nothing wrong, and if all comes back clean, I'd just tell people that she was checked out, is fine, and that's her normal size.
post #5 of 107
Yes I think you should do 'something' in bringing it up with your doc. You don't mention how tall she is, so she'd have to be really tall for this not to be drastically out of proportion. Even my DD's best friend was huge and still only 32 or so lbs at that age while being off the charts for height.
post #6 of 107
I would have her fully checked out if she hasn't been recently already and talk to a nutritionist or holistic doctor specializing in nutrition etc. My DS was and is really big (over the charts for weight and classified obese) but still he wasn't 40 pounds until he was 3.
post #7 of 107
Wow, I am on the other end of the spectrum. I have a 23 pound 2-year-old.

In my opinion, at that age, I would not worry about being overweight. whenever I see big toddlers I think 'healthy'. I think they must just be getting everything they need. But, maybe that is because I worry so much about by little girl who eats like a bird.

You sound like you are feeding her healthy foods. I would imagine as she gets older she would slim out with that diet. The only thing I would reccomend would be more activity.

Your daughter sounds perfect to me. If you have any concerns about a thyroid issue or metabolic whatever, that is something you need to being up with her docotor.
post #8 of 107
That would be concerning to me, my son is almost 7 and weighs 42 lbs.
post #9 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellemenope View Post
Wow, I am on the other end of the spectrum. I have a 23 pound 2-year-old.

In my opinion, at that age, I would not worry about being overweight. whenever I see big toddlers I think 'healthy'. I think they must just be getting everything they need. But, maybe that is because I worry so much about by little girl who eats like a bird..

This is kind of sad. Toddlers *can* be obese, and in fact, there are a lot of obese toddlers. They become obese preschoolers and diabetic kindergartners. There are a lot of really young children being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes (which formerly was the "adult diabetes"). So yes, you can have an obese toddler.

And I say that as the mother of a FTT child (well, he was formerly FTT...now he's just a 42 lb almost 7 year old), and the mother of a child who is only 22 lbs at 19 months old. A child who is off the charts large and is twice the size as the average 19 month old most likely is not "healthy"...even if there is no medical reason for the large size, there is likely some chronic issues that will creep up. I mean, there may be the rare healthy 45 lb 1 year old, and maybe the OP's daughter is one, but if you see 100 45 lb 1 year olds, I would wager to bet at least 95 of those have medical issues either causing it or as a result of it.

In a nation where the majority of our children are now overweight and/or obese, it's probably about time to change the mentality that toddlers can't be obese. They can be. Some are. I'm not about asking a toddler to diet--I think that can be dangerous. But when something is so far over the average, it puts up red flags to me...that is one case where some metabolic, thyroid, and blood sugar testing is in order, for sure.

And it's fairly odd to look at a large child and think they are healthy and getting what they need....my small child is healthy and gets everything she needs as well. It's not like small or average sized children are being starved and large toddlers are being given what they need... A lot of larger children are being given far more than they need, or being given things that are not particularly good or needed for them (even if it's healthy for the average person, an intolerance can cause the child to swell/gain a lot of weight...)
post #10 of 107
Are you sure she's 45 pounds?

There are all kinds of healthy for all kinds of kids. And I'm sure any other chart might give you a different answer, but this one indicates that your daughter is literally off the charts.

http://www.kidsgrowth.com/stages/vie...s.cfm?id=GW036

50th percentile for a 19 month old is 25 pounds. 97th percentile is 31 pounds.

You might want to make an appointment with her ped just for some guidance.

Best of luck!
post #11 of 107
I will say that it does depend on height too--are her height and head circumference proportional (meaning, is she somehow about 40", which would be phenominally tall for a 1 year old, but stranger things could happen?) If she's very very tall, then her weight would be proportional. But if she's only 32-33" or so, then 45 lbs can be an immense strain on her growing bones and joints.
post #12 of 107
Thread Starter 

more information

My daughter is a very active girl! She keeps up with her active 7-year-old brother. She swims every day and runs around in the yard and in the house, plays with her dollies, climbs EVERYTHING. She started walking and talking very early, and hasn't stopped since.

Her body is very proportional. She has a big noggin! She looks solid, but not overweight. Mostly she just looks older than 19 months. She's between 40-45 lbs.

She eats mostly these things: breast milk, light soy milk (she seems to have problems with regular milk), cheeses, yogurt, cereals like unsweetened oatmeal and cheerios, rice, black beans, chicken, broccoli, eggs, melon, peaches, apples, unsweetened apple sauce.

I'm a very picky mom about what I feed her! We don't eat fast foods EVER or junk foods. She rarely has a few bites of homemade, fresh peach pie when I make it, but even then it's not more than a bite or two off my plate. She is not overfed, she eats when she's hungry. Often, I am paranoid I'm UNDERFEEDING her, because she'll go a whole day with a few bites of cheerios in soymilk and that's it!

Also, her daddy was a BIG baby. He was about her size at 18 months, a bit taller (her height is in the upper percentile, but not as high as her weight), but now he's 6'2" and very lean.

SIGH. I just think that, by all outward signs (other than her weight), she's very healthy, active, normal! Don't all babies-children develop at different rates, in different ways?

I'm sorry, but I am a bit disappointed that so many people seem to find my daughter abnormal.
post #13 of 107
Well Mama I don't mean to offend you but a 45 lb 19 months old IS abnormal. Does that mean she is unhealthy? Not necessarily. Has her pedi ever expressed concern about her weight?
post #14 of 107
I'm not sure why you'd be surprised that anyone would see that was abnormal though. I really don't mean any offense, but honestly, anywhere between 18 and 30ish pounds is what's considered normal for an 18 month old...your child is almost double the weight of an average 18 month old. So yes, that is abnormal. And you didn't mention her height or head size in your OP, nor your DH's size in infancy or her milestones, so all we had to go on was weight. And if you're looking at 45 lbs on an average height 18 month old, you're looking at a morbidly obese toddler. That's why other information, such as height and head circumference are important. Because a 45 lb 18 month old who is of average height for an 18 month old could not walk, most likely. And that would be a huge strain on an 18 month old's joints. But a 45 lb 18 month old who is the height of an average 3 year old due to family history of very tall individuals is a different story...
post #15 of 107
With that diet and the fact that she's still breastfeeding, I certainly wouldn't worry about my ability to feed her appropriately. It sounds like you're doing a great job. But 45 pounds at 19 months would have me bringing her in for an evaluation with the doctor. There is definitely a wide range of normal in height and weight, especially that early in life, but her weight is statistically far enough off the charts that I would want to just get it checked out and make sure nothing else was going on. For reference, my oldest tends to be smack dab in the 50th percentile and she's only just hit 40 pounds at 5 years old. She has a tendency not to gain weight for long periods of time (up to a year), and so I brought her in for an evaluation around 18 months of age just to make sure everything was ok. It turned out to be fine, but I felt very reassured knowing that she was absorbing nutrients appropriately and nothing was going on in terms of her endocrine system, pituitary gland, etc.
post #16 of 107
As long as she is growing in height and head circumference to match (or close to) her weight, I wouldn't worry about it. Yes, we live in an obese society. But there have always been perfectly healthy but overall larger than average individuals. There have to be children at the top and bottom of the charts to have an average that's considered "normal"!

By the way, I am typing this as I nurse my 17 month old 33+ pound extremely healthy son.
post #17 of 107
Thread Starter 
I should have provided better information, but I just assumed that people in this forum would think of me as a fellow Mothering-forum-type mom, who supports healthy eating, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, etc. I can get it when outsiders from my family think my daughter is abnormal, but when other mothers on this forum, who, on average, support and understand MANY seemingly 'abnormal' parenting and child-related ideas and experiences (breastfeeding past 6 months, cosleeping, child-led weaning), aren't any more open-minded to my experience and my daughter's experience, I'm frustrated.

I'm only a mother of two, but from what I've seen, there is no real 'normal' when it comes to baby development. My friend's child didn't start talking until he was almost 2, but now he's one of the smartest kids in his class, it just happened late for him.

And my son has always been the tallest kid in his class, and when he was 2-4, people always thought he was a year older than he actually was.

All babies are different. I don't think my daughter is abnormal. All outward signs say she's really healthy, and just different. I am with her all the time and a very attentive mother. I feel like I would recognize if this was a health issue.
post #18 of 107
I'm also wondering how you are weighing her. Has her dr weighed her on their scale?

If she is indeed 45lbs, that is very big. I know kids do slim down as they become more active. That whole year between walking and around age 2 is a great time to thin out. So, I would imagine that will happen. But, very often, this can turn into a heavy pre-schooler.

My daughter was 40lbs in first grade, and she was an average size 6 yr old.

I think the people who love you most are actually concerned for your daughter. We love other people's kids, and aren't always being judgmental... but, are truly concerned. My sister in law would just come out and say "Something's wrong, you need to talk to your doctor". I'd be all offended, and sometimes I'd check with the dr, but sometimes I'd know it wasn't wrong.... my kid was just sorta weird. But, she said those things out of love and real concern.
post #19 of 107
Quote:
Originally Posted by onelittlesleep View Post
I don't think my daughter is abnormal.
But she is... and you do not seem willing even to consider the idea that there might be an underlying health issue that you are not trained to recognize.

Everyone around you is telling you that your daughter is exhibiting a visual sign that something might be wrong... she is twice the size of a typical toddler.

Okay, that might be perfectly normal for her. I hope that it is. You seem convinced that it is. But you haven't addressed anyone's question about what a doctor's evaluation has indicated.

If a doctor sees her and runs bloodwork and confirms your beliefs that your daughter is totally healthy... awesome!!

But it would be a tragedy if she is actually diabetic and it gets ignored because you so desperately want to believe that there is nothing wrong.

As an aside, just because people aren't responding with the words you want to hear does not mean that they are being unsupportive. Everyone here wants your dear daughter to be healthy and wants the best for you.
post #20 of 107
My oldest is 50 pounds, and four feet tall. She's 4 and a half. My youngest is 37 pounds, 3 feet tall, and 35 months old. My ped told me both of them were 'off the charts' and obese, and I know that to be untrue. Anyone can read a chart, see a number, and call her obese, or you can look at the child and see the entirety of her lifestyle to see that she isn't.

All babies are different, but to be not even two and the weight of a seven year old would concern me. Is she meeting milestones, or is she unable to meet them because of her weight? That would be the larger factor for me.
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