45 lb 19-month-old (they say she's too big!) - Page 5

[Viola]

I've known people who have had large babies and toddlers, a baby who weighed 24 lbs at 3 months, another who weighed 33 lbs at a year, and they basically just grew into their weight and are lean now at an older age. So I don't know if 45 pounds at 19 months fits into that or not. Are you taking your child in for regular check-ups, and if so, what does the doctor say?

[sarahn4639]

I am not a doc person, I don't do well childs or things like that. I also believe that, from what you posted, you are feeding her well with breastmilk and healthy foods. It sounds like she is getting good activity and you are doing all the "right" things. It is because of all of that, that I would actually agree with everyone else to have her checked. She is very much out of the range of normal and there is no obvious reason for it. That is why I think it's worth checking the medical side, just to certain/safe. There is no way for you to know if there is a thyroid or adrenal or hormonal problem. That is not poor/neglectful/oblivious parenting, those are unseen things. There would be no way for you to know them. I hope that you are able to sit with the feedback you have been given and recieve it in the spirit it was intended, even though it is certainly not what you were expecting or wanting. I hope that you will have your DD evaluated to rule out any potential issues and you could then deal with them or feel certain in the fact that she is just a large child and this is her normal.

Best wishes OP.

[LROM]

Looks like OP checked out of this thread awhile back (unless I'm missing a post) but it really stands out to me that at no point did OP indicate whether she's had this conversation with her Ped!

OP, just in case you're still reading, you go through great lengths to say you'd know or notice if your DD had medical issues. The bottom line is, you are not a Ped, and while by no means do I think Ped's are all-knowing and always right, they DO have an area of expertise that can be very useful (even necessary) with questions like this.

It troubles me that you don't or won't just take your DD to your Ped and ask their opinion. You don't have to do anything you're horribly uncomfortable with (like some said your ped will say "put her on a diet") - you should simply ask what the medical consequences of following and not following your doc's advice are and then use your best judgement in the best interest of your child.

And that's all IF you even disagree or are concerned with what your Ped says - you may not even feel that way!

But the bottom line is your DD **IS** way off the charts on the weight chart and why would you NOT want to make sure you've gathered all the information that could be relevant about her, for her own health? Again, you can do more research/ask more experts/do whatever follow up you need to if you are concerned about the response. But your daughter is not within what most charts consider the "normal" weight range, and despite the fact that your husband had a similar pattern, why wouldn't you check it out with your Ped?

Last thing, it's certainly a good sign and hopeful that your DH did have that same pattern. Seems very possible nothing is wrong at all, you just have a girl who is much bigger than most her age, end of story.

But what if there's more to her weight than that, and she's got a condition you could be doing something about? It seems more about you than your DD that you would hold so firmly to *your* opinions and feelings about this while refusing to ask someone whose career is supposed to be about helping kids to be ok.

[JBaxter]

I just finished looking through the thread. I have big boys but none have gotten to the size of your dd. I would ask your ped for some testing. There are many things that can cause growth like that. I didnt see where you posted how tall she is. My DS4 is off the chart in height and was about 30lbs at his 18 month check up.
There are some genetic things that can come into play and some way more serious things like tumors on the putitiary gland .... I would be worried sick till I found out for sure that there wasnt some underlying cause in her rapid growth. Hugs to you and your family.

[mammal_mama]

I can understand that if the OP's not doing well child visits and not wanting to go the whole medical route if not absolutely necessary, she may not feel this situation warrants a doctor visit. Remember, she is with her child all the time and she sees how healthy she is. We really don't know her child or even how tall her child is.

Yes, she posted here in order to to get some feedback from other AP mamas. Now she may be stepping back to just watch her child and see, and process all the information she's been taking in.

I remember when I started feeling a growing concern that one of my own children had some special needs. At first I was scared to have her evaluated because I literally thought that if someone felt medication or treatment was warrented, I could be pressured into it or seen as a neglectful parent.

I found out that this doesn't seem to be the case -- at least for kids with sensory issues; the resources for helping special needs kids are so overloaded that they honestly don't hunt you down if you decide that what they have to offer isn't the right thing for your child. It's easy to drop out.

But I'm honestly not sure if it's so easy to drop out of the medical system if the doctor feels that your child is too heavy. I recall some news story several years back about a little girl who was taken, screaming, from her parents and placed in foster care because she was obese and they wouldn't make her diet.

I realize that's an extreme response, so I'm not saying it's even likely, but it doesn't seem exactly far-fetched, to me, for a parent to have concerns about what might get set "in motion" if they seek medical advice but then decide to drop out.

[ErinYay]

Originally Posted by mammal_mama

I recall some news story several years back about a little girl who was taken, screaming, from her parents and placed in foster care because she was obese and they wouldn't make her diet.

This story? Long story short, this 3-year old-weighed 130 lbs, and was removed from her parent's custody. Mind you, they'd been seeking answers to her size (not just weight- she was 3x heavier than an average 3-year-old, but also 50% taller, and had a full set of teeth by a year of age,) since she was a few months old, and all doctors were perplexed.

After they were told to cut her down to 500 calories a day (and failed to do so) the child was taken into state custody. After a legal battle, starring many volunteers, they got the child back. 4 years later, she weighs 105 lbs, is on a fairly restrictive diet, and is in a swim club 3 days a week. So, at 7 years, she is still heavier than most kids her age, but is in good health, as was she at the time of her removal.

[Anandamama]

Dear OP, Looks like you've gotten an earful here. I just want to say that my baby girl was a huge 32lb at 10mo, and at that age exclusively breastfed. I got comments frequently about how big she was and friends and family saying, are your sure she's healthy and normal? I knew of big babies, but none even close to ours. Our pediatrician recommended taking her to a pediatric endocrinologist to have her tested. My intuition said that she is totally healthy and going was a waste of time, but for peace of mind we did it, and the tests came out normal. She's now 3.5 yo and tall for her age and just normal/stocky. So I hope the story is the same for you and your girl! Your feeling that she is healthy is probably right on.

[mammal_mama]

Yes, Erin, I think this is the story that I was thinking of. Thank you for the link to that great article! I'm glad to hear that she was reunited with her family two months later, though of course it's awful that she had to spend even two months in foster care.

[Latte Mama]

Originally Posted by Anandamama

Dear OP, Looks like you've gotten an earful here. I just want to say that my baby girl was a huge 32lb at 10mo, and at that age exclusively breastfed. I got comments frequently about how big she was and friends and family saying, are your sure she's healthy and normal? I knew of big babies, but none even close to ours. Our pediatrician recommended taking her to a pediatric endocrinologist to have her tested. My intuition said that she is totally healthy and going was a waste of time, but for peace of mind we did it, and the tests came out normal. She's now 3.5 yo and tall for her age and just normal/stocky. So I hope the story is the same for you and your girl! Your feeling that she is healthy is probably right on.

The good thing is that you DID get her checked out . That's all everyone is encouraging the OP to do. Just check things out for the same peace of mind that you did

[eclipse]

Originally Posted by ErinYay

This story? Long story short, this 3-year old-weighed 130 lbs, and was removed from her parent's custody. Mind you, they'd been seeking answers to her size (not just weight- she was 3x heavier than an average 3-year-old, but also 50% taller, and had a full set of teeth by a year of age,) since she was a few months old, and all doctors were perplexed.

After they were told to cut her down to 500 calories a day (and failed to do so) the child was taken into state custody. After a legal battle, starring many volunteers, they got the child back. 4 years later, she weighs 105 lbs, is on a fairly restrictive diet, and is in a swim club 3 days a week. So, at 7 years, she is still heavier than most kids her age, but is in good health, as was she at the time of her removal.

I went looking for an update on this story, because I remembered it, but it seemed like more than 4 years ago. I was right - here's a newer update on her if you're interested http://rdmag.com/News/FeedsAP/2010/0...s-with-weight/ It's been 9 years - she's 12 years old, 5-3, and 300 lbs. She has finally been dx'd as diabetic and put on Metformin which has stopped her weight gain (although she isn't losing). Unless she and her parents are completely lying to everybody, she is eating a majorly calorically restricted diet and excercising frequently andstill not losing any weight. There's obviously something medical going on, but nobody has been able to tell them what (aside from the new diagnosis of diabetes). The details of their case with social services are really horrifying . Racism and classism played a huge part in her removal from her family .

[arihillfarm]

Originally Posted by fairejour

I'll argue! A 19 month old should be REAR facing!!!

Yes, but if there's not a seat available that she can be in RF because of her weight, FF it must be.

-Astrid

[MrsBone]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

But she is... and you do not seem willing even to consider the idea that there might be an underlying health issue that you are not trained to recognize.

Everyone around you is telling you that your daughter is exhibiting a visual sign that something might be wrong... she is twice the size of a typical toddler.

Okay, that might be perfectly normal for her. I hope that it is. You seem convinced that it is. But you haven't addressed anyone's question about what a doctor's evaluation has indicated.

If a doctor sees her and runs bloodwork and confirms your beliefs that your daughter is totally healthy... awesome!!

But it would be a tragedy if she is actually diabetic and it gets ignored because you so desperately want to believe that there is nothing wrong.

As an aside, just because people aren't responding with the words you want to hear does not mean that they are being unsupportive. Everyone here wants your dear daughter to be healthy and wants the best for you.

[paxye]

I don't know if you are still reading but my last son was an over weight (obese) baby... so, I have been there, and have gotten all the stares and concerns from others.

He was born at 10lbs, was 20lbs at 10 weeks, 30+ lbs at 6 months and 42-43 lbs at a year. So he was not far off from your dd but 6 months younger.

He was not overfed as he was exclusively breastfed until 10 months. He hit all his milestones at an average age...crawling at 7 months, walking at 11 months... though he could roll over until he was nearly a year because he couldn't get the momentum... but it did come...

We did decide to go get him checked out when he was about 9-10 months old. I had to turn him around in his seat by that time, he wasn't eating yet and was still gaining... We went to the specialists at the Children's Hospital and there was nothing wrong with him... he was just a big boy and this was HIS normal...

His weight stopped climbing at about 14 months and he started growing more in height and even lost a bit of weight... Now he is nearing 4 and is the same weight as when he was 12 months old. He is much taller than his brothers were (he matches their heights a year before they did) and for the first time since he was a few weeks old, his bigger brother is now heavier than him.

I don't regret going to get it checked out because not only was it reassuring but it was a great way to make people stop talking...

BTW... here is the link to my son's photo album... If you start on the last page you can see the chub grow... http://www.flickr.com/photos/paxye/s...7594399388645/

Fairejour
I'll argue! A 19 month old should be REAR facing!!!

Originally Posted by arihillfarm

Yes, but if there's not a seat available that she can be in RF because of her weight, FF it must be.

-Astrid

I agree... I had to turn my son around at about 9 months though I technically should have done it before.

The highest RF car seat at the time in Canada had a sticker of 30lbs. The radian was still pretty new and I knew it had a sticker weight of 35lbs in the States so I bought so it knowing that I would have 5lbs more (though not legal) and then stretched it out even a bit more until I could no longer justify the risk.

[2xy]

I agree that a doctor's visit is in order. If the baby is average height and 45 lbs, then the baby is way too heavy. If the baby is proportionately tall, then there may be a growth disorder underneath it all.

Reading all these posts made me go look in my kids' baby books to see their weights. DS1 was over 9 lbs at birth and was a sturdy toddler and preschooler. He weighed 27 lbs at 18 mos, and didn't hit 45 lbs until he was 6yo.

DS2 was a 7 lb newborn and chubby baby, but toddlerhood thinned him out and he has always been a skinny-mini. He was 22 lbs at 18 mos, and I apparently stopped recording his height in that book when he was 8yo....and he was only 42 lbs! He is now 15yo and only weighs about 110 lbs (and is about 5'6").

[Abraisme]

Originally Posted by VillageMom6

But she is... and you do not seem willing even to consider the idea that there might be an underlying health issue that you are not trained to recognize.

Everyone around you is telling you that your daughter is exhibiting a visual sign that something might be wrong... she is twice the size of a typical toddler.

Okay, that might be perfectly normal for her. I hope that it is. You seem convinced that it is. But you haven't addressed anyone's question about what a doctor's evaluation has indicated.

If a doctor sees her and runs bloodwork and confirms your beliefs that your daughter is totally healthy... awesome!!

But it would be a tragedy if she is actually diabetic and it gets ignored because you so desperately want to believe that there is nothing wrong.

As an aside, just because people aren't responding with the words you want to hear does not mean that they are being unsupportive. Everyone here wants your dear daughter to be healthy and wants the best for you.

My 6.5yo only weighs 43lbs..

[EdnaMarie]

Originally Posted by paxye

BTW... here is the link to my son's photo album... If you start on the last page you can see the chub grow... http://www.flickr.com/photos/paxye/s...7594399388645/


.

Off topic, but I envy your photography skills and dang that baby is cute but huge at some points. I am sure the OP's is just as beautiful!

[weezix]

my ds is 28 months old and 36+lbs. He's not overly tall, just stalky. my dd is 4 and she's 45lbs. she's tall though.
i think there is a big difference between 40 and 45 lbs. you mentioned your daughter was within that range. i would think if she was closer to 40 and proportionate and meeting milestones in a normal range, then there wouldn't be anything to be concerned about but might mention it to my dr. on a regular check up just to be on the safe side. i think 45 lbs at that age is really getting up there so again, i wouldn't really be concerned but would make a visit to see the dr. just to check her out.

[Lilypie32]

My son is 44 pounds and will be 6 in November. How tall is your child? Have you had her checked by her pediatrician for growth disorders? Most of them are not visible and testing would need to be done. If she is mostly breastfed I would be worried and would seek out medical advice just in case.

[sillysmile]

I agree that you should really get a doctor's evaluation. Type 2 diabetes is caused by obesity, and is appearing in younger and younger children. Your daughter is at very high risk due to her weight. I realize that this sounds harsh, but if your daughter for some reason eats more than she needs to (underlying medical issue?), it is YOUR job to get the help that you need to figure out what is going on, correct it to the extent possible, and help reduce her risk of diabetes. How will you feel if you do nothing now, and come kindergarten she needs multiple shots of insulin to get through the day? (Note: I am not a doctor yet, but am 8 years into a MD/PhD training program and specialize in diabetes.)

[Xerxella]

Have a doc check her out. ESPECIALLY, if she's eating healthy. My friend's 8 yo didn't seem to be getting any taller. Well, he'll just be short, right? His parents are short. Well after a few years, it was really becoming obvious that he wasn't growing. He had a pituitary tumor. It was removed and he has started growing again. Natural death autopsies reveal that up to 25% of the population has undiagnosed pituitary tumors.

http://www.eje-online.org/cgi/reprint/140/5/378.pdf

These people are usually older and the tumors are usually asymptomatic, but it just shows the frequency of these things.

I was just thinking to myself, "I hope I didn't scare her." But, actually, I hope I did scare you. Go to a doctor and get your child checked out. It's probably just your child's way of growing, but go ahead and make sure.