Why won't my DH agree to CD?

[busymama77]

I've laid it all out on the table - the cost savings, the echo-friendliness of it (we're a napkin and paper towel free household), the comfort it would give to our DS, etc., etc., etc., But he still refuses. Tells me that we have to draw the line somewhere. I don't handle our household finances, he does. I really believe that he thinks that I think it would just be another opportunity for me to BUY something. I enjoy bargain hunting for my kids and very, very, very rarely use our own money to buy them things. It's usually bought on DS or ebay and I use the money in my PP account to pay for it (money in the PP is from items that I've sold of mine, maternity clothes, and other items).

I also think he has something against the 'dirtiness' of CD'ing. How it's washed and the process, but I've told him about the AIO's. Nope. That didn't work well. Could it just be an overall convenience matter to him???

Am I just at a loss in this unncessary battle?

[akind1]

If you are breastfeeding, it is not really all that dirty, IMO; it washes out really easily. As babies start solids and the poo gets more, well, solid, you can just dump it in the toilet!

What help convince DH was the sizing, it seemed like we were needing to size up in 'sposies so often! we switched to cloth when DS was 7 months old and we rean out of size 2 dipes. the medium size in most brands goes to 25-35 lbs!! DS is only 17 lbs, so we have a whole lot of time we can use these diapers, not to mention there are one size diapers too.

The funny thing is I feel our washing machine is way cleaner now that we do CD's. Maybe it is all the vinegar? and occasional TTO.

oh, have you asked him how he feels about hybrid systems, like FLIP, Grovia, or gDiapers? I love our flips! (I use the gdiaper sposie inserts in them though) I don't have the disposable inserts for the grovia's, but I still like them with the cloth inserts.

[LittleBattleAxe]

It might be helpful if you could actually get your paws on some cloth diapers so he can SEE what they are like and how they work. My dh was aghast at first until he saw he dipes. He never became a fan of cd'ing but he definitely saw advantages for us economically, which did make him happy.

If he won't budge there are some eco-friendly alternatives that he might be on board with.

Why doesn't he let you shop? That wouldn't fly in my house. My dh is wonderful but has no clue when the kids need need new shoes or jackets for winter.

[nannymom]

Will he be doing the majority of diapering and washing? I think that this decision goes to the person who has to take responsibility for these chores. In our house that's me and honestly it would never occur to me to ask my husband's opionion on the matter.

[lynsage]

I think you should ask him exactly what he means by "having to draw the line", and if he means finances, show him a price comparison on paper of how much it will cost to CD vs DD over the next few years.

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by LittleBattleAxe

It might be helpful if you could actually get your paws on some cloth diapers so he can SEE what they are like and how they work. My dh was aghast at first until he saw he dipes. He never became a fan of cd'ing but he definitely saw advantages for us economically, which did make him happy.

If he won't budge there are some eco-friendly alternatives that he might be on board with.

Why doesn't he let you shop? That wouldn't fly in my house. My dh is wonderful but has no clue when the kids need need new shoes or jackets for winter.

Oh, I can shop and I do. Like I said, I buy most of my stuff online for the boys - from DS or ebay. Some used and some NWT. I just do it quite often. It's not HOW much I buy, but often, in his book.
I've been lurking on DS for quite some time for some AIO's that I can snag for next to nothing to give them a try. So, I think I'm going to continue to look and see what I can find and show him in person just how easy it is and just how darn cute they look in CD's, too!!

[Katie T]

I didn't give DH the option. I was going to be the one staying home with the baby and I did it with free diapers so it was just a "I don't want to" on his part. He didn't have to do anything with them and when I worked (every other Sunday) I would leave sposies for him. Slowely he started to use the cloth diapers when I was gone at work and we have been happily cloth diapering for the past 3 1/2yrs lol. (With no sposies used in over 2 yrs btw)

Once I showed him I was sticking with it he had no problem letting me buy some nice diapers. (pockets)

[november]

No, you're not at a loss. I wouldn't ask, I'd just do it. If you're going to be the one doing the laundry, you have the say. If you use AIOs, there is NO difference between cloth and disposables where you husband is concerned. Chances are good that once he gets into the groove of using cloth, he won't be so opposed. My husband and my parents and sister never thought I'd stick with it, they thought it was too much of a hassle. They are all TOTALLY impressed with my cloth and think it's the coolest thing ever now. Even the hardened hearts can be turned...lol!

[HappyMommy2]

Originally Posted by busymama77

... It's usually bought on DS or ebay and I use the money in my PP account to pay for it ...

What is DS? Always looking for bargain sites!
thanks!

[blumooned]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

What is DS? Always looking for bargain sites!
thanks!

Probably Diaper Swappers, but I don't know for sure.

[CrazyCatLady]

I have to say that my snarky, experienced mom attitude to this is that it really shouldn't be up to him. I've never met a dad that does anywhere near the amount of diaper changing that the mom does. Chances are that you'll do the majority of the changes, you'll do most of the washing, and you've obviously done a ton of research on this. If you're planning on using AIO's, he can't even complain about it being complicated.

I say get whatever diapers you want. Especially if you're being thrifty about it.

I do want to mention though that I've never used a AIO diaper that I loved enough to use all the time. I always find them not very absorbant and they can take forever to dry. I liked pockets for easy changes and good absorbancy. Though others hate pockets, so ymmv.

Good luck.

[CrazyCatLady]

Also my kid didn't potty train until four years old (and we tried everything). So cloth diapers saved us a lot of money. And I wasn't all that great about shopping for deals either.

[urchin_grey]

Yep, I'm with everyone else. I don't see why you need his permission. Just do it! If he doesn't want to CD, then you can buy a pack of sposies just for him.

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by blumooned

Probably Diaper Swappers, but I don't know for sure.

Yep, that's right!

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by urchin_grey

Yep, I'm with everyone else. I don't see why you need his permission. Just do it! If he doesn't want to CD, then you can buy a pack of sposies just for him.

I need his 'permission', per se, because he controls the finances. MOST of the stuff that I buy that doesn't require my PP account, I have to let him know about it and since this will be a big purchase right off the bat and we also need to purchase two new convertible seats for DS#2, he needs to know. Now, whether he'll want to participate in the diaper changing of CD's, I don't care. I do ALL of the laundry anyhow, so that's not gonna change. It's the money issue that I need for him to get over first.

[mumkimum]

We broke up shelling out money for cloth diapers, initially - I got 2-3 purchases from places around 100 over a few months with dd1. Later (when we needed bigger sizes and wanted pockets) we did about 150 more, and that was a year later. ALL this we can use again (which we are with dd2 or obviously sell/pass on - we spent maybe shy of 100 this time and that was just 'for fun' stuff we did in part cause we weren't getting anything else for her).

I'd remind him that, whether you use cloth or not - you'll be having to spend this kind of money on diapers period. There's some diaper cost calculator I've seen a link for before that might help show the cost of cloth vs disposable, so he can see the savings over time (plus it's way more convenient not to have to run out and buy diapers and just wash them at home).

[mumkimum]

Here's the diaper cost calculator.

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by mumkimum

Here's the diaper cost calculator.

This is so awesome and will be SOOO helpful. Thank you!!!

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

It took me 11 months to convince DH that we should try CDs with DD. 11 months of stinky paper diapers and lots of crap going to the dump. Sure, I could have not consulted with him to start with, but I felt it important that he be involved in parenting decisions. In the end, I did kind of say "well, I still want to and I'm going to try them - I'll keep sposies in the house for you". Just gently LOL.

Now, he's a total convert and tells everyone they should be using cloth (and co-sleeping, breastfeeding, non-circing - all things he originally was against!). I just don't remind him that he was against it to start with! He put on DS' first diaper after he was born - and in almost six months I believe that's the only diaper he's changed! But that's only because DS and I are so rarely apart - he'd do so willingly if required.

Now my mission is to convince him that EC isn't so crazy...

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by Perdita_in_Ontario

It took me 11 months to convince DH that we should try CDs with DD. 11 months of stinky paper diapers and lots of crap going to the dump. Sure, I could have not consulted with him to start with, but I felt it important that he be involved in parenting decisions. In the end, I did kind of say "well, I still want to and I'm going to try them - I'll keep sposies in the house for you". Just gently LOL.

Now, he's a total convert and tells everyone they should be using cloth (and co-sleeping, breastfeeding, non-circing - all things he originally was against!). I just don't remind him that he was against it to start with! He put on DS' first diaper after he was born - and in almost six months I believe that's the only diaper he's changed! But that's only because DS and I are so rarely apart - he'd do so willingly if required.

Now my mission is to convince him that EC isn't so crazy...

Yeah, I think I'm making some headway. We're currently a little strapped for money, but next weekend, I think I might convince him to go to local store that carries CD's so that he can see them in person. Several mamas on DS have PM'ed me with what they have available and all in great condition. I know that once they are in the house and DH has tried them a couple of times, he'll see the difference right away. Oh, and the fact that DS goes to daycare and they recorded on his daily sheet that he needed diapers the other day.....Just another trip to the store and hunting for coupons!!!