Things I Love About My Pre-Teen Thread

[bronxmom]

The things that drive me crazy thread is super-helpful because it shows so graphically how all these annoying things really are age-related and not my daughter being badly raised or some terrible kid or something. But I figured I'd also start one about what we love about kids because I'm really feeling like there are some things that are uniquely and newly enjoyable about this age that are worth remembering.

My daughter's 11 and starting middle school in September. Some things I love:

-she's now at an age where we can genuinely share interests on an equal or semi-equal basis; for ex., we just started doing the couch to 5k program together because she's getting into running and I keep meaning to try to become a runner; it's a lot of fun. Or we go to coffee shops together and sit and read our respective books for a couple of hours. these are really fun and interesting times.

-she thinks more conceptually and you can have real conversations about philosophical and intellectual questions; for ex., we've discussed historical materialism, alienation, whether ignorance is really bliss, etc

-she's becoming so independent and self-directed; she has a planner and plans her day/week; she comes up with projects for herself to do: summer homework, organizing her room, going to the library, starting a book reviews blog, learning to play the guitar - she's able to keep herself busy and she's developing a level of self-direction and discipline that's really exciting to see

-she's wonderful, wonderful, wonderful with her 19 month old brother; she giggles and gets silly and you can see how much she's still a kid combined with this mature person she's becoming

-she can cook at least small meals for herself

-she's becoming more empathetic and aware and tries to pitch in and help

Part of this is because it's summer and there's no imposed schedule or stress, but she's really just turning into this lovely person. Of course, she's still argumentative and frustrating and can fly off the handle and be super stubborn - and she still can't manage to go to sleep on her own; but overall I feel like some things I was worried would never develop she has matured into on her own. It's really nice. Now if we can just work on the frustration level and the sleep issue life could be really great.

[Thalia the Muse]

Oh, I like this idea!

I have a nine year old -- does that count as preteen?

I love that she can be so thoughtful and empathetic. She really enjoys planning a nice surprise for her father or a friend.

She's HILARIOUS -- she has a great sense of humor and can say things that are really intentionally funny.

We have a new kitten, and she has done a great job doing most of the kitten care. I love that I can trust her to be gentle and appropriate with the kitten, even when it's totally wacked out and attacking her arm with its claws.

She can do a lot of things I really enjoy together with me -- watching foreign movies, horseback riding, cooking. We went on a family trip to Yellowstone in June, and she and I were the only ones who wanted to go whitewater rafting there, and we had a BLAST!

She really wants me to read and discuss books with her.

Now I need to find the "drives me crazy" thread, because I have stuff to contribute to that one too ...

[purslaine]

Thank you.

Most of your list I agree with - so nothing to add, but I do appreciate much about this age!

[kewb]

Things I love about my 12 year old ds:
I love that he still wants to cuddle with me when none of his friends are around. I love that he will tolerate a kiss from me in public.

I love that he is becoming a thoughtful and compassionate young man towards his family and this includes his little sister.

I love his sharp wit.

Things I love about my 10 year old dd:
I love her spirit. She is spunky, sassy, and knows what she wants.

I love her "can do" attitude" She rarely lets fear of something get in her way.

I love her sense of style. She listens to the beat of her own fashion drummer and does not let anyone dictate to her.

[Linda on the move]

I love how my DDs (12 and 13) find new books, new music, etc that I've never heard of before and introduce me to it. They are finally old enough to have really good taste!

[madeirameg]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

I love how my DDs (12 and 13) find new books, new music, etc that I've never heard of before and introduce me to it. They are finally old enough to have really good taste!

I pretty much love everything about my 13yo DD (well, ALMOST!) but I think it's especially ironic that she's starting to love the same books as me and that 95% of the music on her IPOD is the music I listened to in high school! I asked her "where do you find this stuff, did you google "music my mom used to listen too"?"

[mom2ponygirl]

I love this thread!

I have really been enjoying my 11 nearing 12 yr old dd this summer. She has the occasional teen attitude, but is still often so very loving and cuddly. I'm taking all I can get! LOL

We are also doing couch to 5K as she wants to start crosscountry running. We've taken a couple weeks off though due to 110 heat index. We spend the cool mornings riding horses. The evenings mean barn chores and we're usually too hot and sweaty already to go run. We hope to get back going in a couple more weeks.

We're also enjoying music and books together and it is wonderful. We have many more conversations and we both enjoy that as well. I really appreciate these wonderful times as I know we will have some tougher ones ahead as we both grow and change.

I've been reading Girl in the Mirror by Snyderman, and one thing that stands out is the concept that adolescense has to be some horrid period to try and survive. While the book doesn't downplay the often difficult times, it does paint the idea of the horrible teenager as a myth. A good friend of mine found her kids the most delightful as teenagers, and I'm hoping for that as well!

[bestjob]

I just took ds and 4 friends camping. I loved it that they could go everywhere in the park on their bikes (except swimming, when the dog and I would join them on the beach) and that they could work together to make or clean up a meal.

And, apparently, they made the sun shine and the birds sing....

[2timestrouble]

Originally Posted by bronxmom

-she thinks more conceptually and you can have real conversations about philosophical and intellectual questions

-she can cook at least small meals for herself

-she's becoming more empathetic and aware and tries to pitch in and help
.

I agree with this points, and I also agree with the mom that said that her kids have better taste on books/music, is funny to see that we actually can agree in some music we both like.
My DD is also an AMAZING big sister, I never really planed for her to help me with baby, but she has being more than anything I could wish.
-She have always being cute/funny, but now she is becoming more grown up funny.
-We actually can talk! Long gone are the silly questions like:"Mom, what would you do if you where a color blue", even if the question was cute I never seem to have the right answer...is it a right answer?
-She is becoming more responsible in her school work, and I am proud that she is not doing it because I tell her she has to to get something but because she start understanding the importance.
-She is learning how to become a good friend and how to keep a friend
- She fits on my shoes! Let me explain why I am so happy about this one, even if she fits on them she doesn't like most of them, I think is great that she fit on them now and not when she is 16 and she drives me crazy because I could never find my shoes when I want them, lol.

[MusicianDad]

I love that she is very much growing into an empathetic, generous, kind heated woman who enjoys helping others rather than feeling obligated to help others.

Plus I love that she still likes to snuggle up on the couch and have me sing to her or read to her.