Any other diehard homeschoolers who decided to send their kids to school out there?? - Page 3

[*Katherine*]

Wow, this thread is hitting home.
I am sending my ds1 (10) & ds2 (8) to public for the first time. I am pretty sick to my stomach about it.
I am in a temporary place in life, and am only sending them to this school temporarily...
They already placed ds1 in 4th grade instead of 5th (he has a July bday) because he just picked up reading this year.
I am having to calm myself down many times a day, remind myself that my fears are just that, and hope for the best knowing I can pull them out at any point.
But I'm still terrified and feel like a fish out of water.
Tuesday is their first day.

It's nice to read others are in the same boat.

[imbarefoot]

(((hugs))) Katherine

[marilynmama]

Update on our school week:

DD 12 is still hs'ing. We decided to send DD 8 (3rd grade) to ps and so far it is not going well! We have been unschooling and happy with that. Well, unschooling and public school do not mix. At all. DD is behind in math and fine motor skills (writing). Part of the problem is she is so stressed out and nervous she cant think and I can see the stress in her writing, etc. She is doing fine socially, its just the whole school environment that is a BIG adjustment and a lot of anxiety. I told her it would get easier but this is very hard emotionally for me watching her deal with this.

Yesterday they were working on a math page in class (expanded form) and my dd just didn't get it. The teacher sent me a note home saying she was lost and had to give her the paper back 5 times and no matter what, she wasn't getting it. Well, when she got home my husband sat down with her and in 5 minutes she "got it" and did the paper with no mistakes. I tried explaining that to the teacher but she kinda scoffed at me. She sent her math book home for the weekend so me and dh could work on some stuff with her.

I am honestly worried about all this though. HS'ing is sooooo much easier and less stressful for sure. This whole ps system is quite a trip. I can clearly see that my dd does not have the confidence that a lot of these other kids have. Its a totally different world, vastly different from the HSing world for sure.

Anyone else out there having not such a good time with this??

[railyuh]

Marilyn, the thing that frustrates me about that is that the teacher scoffs at it! I moved around quite a bit as a kid and we always had problems like this whenever we changed schools, and we always went to public school. Different schools do things differently, different teachers do things differently. There were always subjects I was behind in and ones I was ahead in, or they'd do an assessment on me and put me in a class, only to realize months later that I was in the wrong class, etc.

Part of it is probably that the teacher doesn't have the time to focus on how best to teach kids who learn differently, kwim? Obviously your dd just needed someone to explain it in a different way and she was fine I'm sorry she's been having a hard time, I hope it gets better.

[oceanbaby]

Today was day 3 for us. A few observations . . .

Ds2 (6yo and in first grade) loves school so far. He is advanced academically, so there is no stress for him, and he already knows everything they are doing. However, I worry that pretty soon the novelty will wear off and he will get bored. Socially everything is fine, especially as it turns out our neighbor's son is in his class, so he was very excited about that. So he's quite the happy camper.

Ds1 (9yo and in 4th grade) tentatively likes school so far. He's happy when I pick him up, and says that he understands the work they do in the classroom. However, his spelling has always been atrocious, and there is no way he can keep up with the writing. Some of his spelling words this week include "although," "beautiful," "whether," "language," and "question." His spelling is probably on a 2nd grade level. On his pretest he barely got 3 letters of each word. He's working on it, but it's a real struggle and he's already talking about how he's the slowest, he's going to get an F, etc., and despite our fervent reassurances that his grades on tests mean nothing and we don't care at all, he's still stressed. When the real homework kicks in, I think things are going to get really tough. He doesn't know anyone in his class, but is very social and is having fun at recess and says all the kids are nice.

Also, just the basic organziation is tough for him. He's always been a bit spacey - can never remember to close the door, etc. So remembering specific papers and assignments and to put the envelope in the basket, etc., is tough for him.

I've also noticed, that despite having a May birthday, he seems to be one of the youngest in his class. All the kids on his baseball team are in third grade. It seems like everyone holds their kids back a year now, which is weird to me - if I held ds back, he would turn 18 in his junior year of high school! I get it for later birthdays, but it's almost across the board. Academically he would do better in the third grade, but he would freak if we told him he was moving down a grade.

I'm glad they are enjoying their days, but they are cranky and fighting more when they get home, and I see very little creative play like they used to do all day. Now, granted, it's only day 3, plus we just had a super hot heat wave, and they've been waking up way earlier than they need to because they're excited. So it could be just all those 3 things combined that is causing the change in behavior, not just school.

I miss them terribly, but I do have to admit that I am in a better mood and am more calm with them, having already done all the little things I need to do during the day. So in that sense it's already improved our relationship, but I think things are too soon to tell.

Overall, I am completely underwhelmed with the public school system. I think our particular school does a good job with what they have to work with, and the staff has all been very nice, but the lack of creativity and individuality is staggering. (As is the lack of science, but that's another vent.)

[marilynmama]

Originally Posted by railyuh

Marilyn, the thing that frustrates me about that is that the teacher scoffs at it! I moved around quite a bit as a kid and we always had problems like this whenever we changed schools, and we always went to public school. Different schools do things differently, different teachers do things differently. There were always subjects I was behind in and ones I was ahead in, or they'd do an assessment on me and put me in a class, only to realize months later that I was in the wrong class, etc.

Part of it is probably that the teacher doesn't have the time to focus on how best to teach kids who learn differently, kwim? Obviously your dd just needed someone to explain it in a different way and she was fine I'm sorry she's been having a hard time, I hope it gets better.

Thanks!

I KNOW my kids are smart, they are just not public school savvy and no she doesn't have the best handwriting, but heck dont a lot of adults have some bad handwriting? lol. After I talked with my husband (who is an elementary school ed. major) he thinks the teacher is biased against homeschooling and may be taking some things out on my dd and on us. The more I think about some of her comments towards me, the more I believe this is what the issue may be.

And boy oh boy there is a lot of busy work in ps. Just fyi she is in 3rd grade and has 22 students in her class with 1 teacher. I have no idea if that is a lot of anything at all.

[marilynmama]

OceanBaby:

NIce reading your update to the school year. I posted an update on my dd (3rd) as well. I am not sure what to think or if we will continue with ps....today is friday so she will go this morning and we will probably give it some more time for her to adjust and see how things go for her. I do believe we have a teacher who is biased against HSing. She points out all her problems but nothing ever was said about the things she does well....she was surprised at how social she was (well duh, HSing doesn't mean lack of social skills).

Sorry your son struggles with spelling and writing....I mean, we cant all be good at everything right? And they are SO picky about handwriting and stuff.

The thing is *I* was homeschooled. My brother and sister were also homeschooled. My mom basically unschooled us with some formal stuff thrown in here and there sometimes. We have all 3 graduated from college with no problems. I have a BSN in Nursing, my sister has a BS in Zoology and my brother BA English. I just get frusterated when I see how much they stress over and stress kids and parents out over stuff that is just not that important! To me basic math, spelling, reading, writing are important in life and with those basic skills you can do anything.

[meetoo]

Hi all! We homeschooled last year but for personal reason are sending the kids to school this year. My oldest is going into 2nd grade and is nervous about starting. I'm a little nervous they are going to say I stunk at homeschooling and she is horribly behind. But in my nonpanicky moments I'm about 99% sure she is right on track and will do fine. My son is starting K and I have some big concerns about how that will go. He is on the young end (not quite 5)and has some challenges. Right now I'm starting him with the plan on pulling him out if I start getting daily phone calls.

[emily31]

Although dd continually asks to HS again I can see that she is getting into the grove and liking it better.

Her biggest problem this week has been just getting down the classroom skills--writing quickly and managing her binder. Her school uses a binder system for everything and micromanages how everything should be organized.

One of her big struggles was writing down math problems--we have always used workbooks, print outs, computer games etc., so she hasn't had the experience to copy problems off the board or out of a textbook.

Additionally, I think she might just have a poor math teacher--I posted a separate thread earlier this week about her class. It is almost two hours long, and they mostly just listen and watch him work problems.

[*Katherine*]

Originally Posted by imbarefoot

(((hugs))) Katherine

Thanks. I appreciate it.

[imbarefoot]

Originally Posted by coleslaw

I think only this crowd will appreciate my recent frustration. I'm getting so sick of how many times the grandparents tell my kids how proud they are of my kids for going to school and how over-the-moon excited they are that they are going ( the gp's so excited the kids are going). They were never happy about us hsing so I get it but it's really getting to me. They never even tried to understand or be a part of my kids schooling before but NOW it's like a miracle has occurred!! One set even sent some money which was never done before. Another bought more clothes, because they'll need them for school. Because of course they went naked last year while hsing and we never bought any school supplies or books or took classes then! Don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful for the gifts, just annoyed at the undertone of which they are being given. Thanks for letting me vent!!

I'm dealing with a similar situation. It's helpful and appreciated, but annoying at the same time.

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

It looks like DD (11) may choose to go to school.

I have a question - what do you do (or intend to do) if the school does something you don't like?

I do not hold many of the same beliefs as school and I do not know how this is going to work out. I can see me letting go of smaller stuff - but bigger stuff?

I think a root issue is I do not trust schools (negative experiences plus - why should I trust them - I do not know them). Do I trust my DD - yes, and that is the only reason she is being allowed to go (but I also acknowledge that she is a child/preteen - and still in some need of mother protection). Sigh and ugh. Just a vent - be gentle if you reply.

Well, if an issue arises, I suppose I would take that issue up with whoever it was. For instance, the teacher, a parent, or if it was a school as a whole I'd probably contact the Dean. I would attempt to resolve any unsatisfactory-ness (?). But in the end, if it just doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. We would bring her back home until/if we found something else that felt like a good fit.

Does that answer your question or did I miss your point?

Originally Posted by mom2tig99Nroo03

this is my kids' second week in school. they both like their teachers, but are both not enjoying other aspects. (getting picked on).

ds already wants to be hs again next year, and i'm determined to be well enough to be a good teacher again.

we're giving this a solid year unless something huge happens to make us rethink it.

((hugs)) I hated dealing with being picked on as a child. I hope things improve and your children find some close friends to bond with and spend time with at school. You might look into programs for children dealing with situations like these. My school as a child offered a "PALS and Buddies" system, where highschool students would come to the elementary schools and be assigned a pal or buddy for the year. I had one and I remember how comforting and healing it was for me to have that. I also spent time talking about what I was experiencing with the school counselor, which also helped.

Originally Posted by Millie Ivy

We are only on day three, but so far its going wonderfully. DS isn't totally sold on it, but he is having a fine time. DD is loving it so much she is getting out of bed quickly in the morning ans she is my night owl/sleep til 12 girl.

A drawback, sort of, is that me ex just pulled a really douchebag sort of move. Without prewarning the kids, or me, he isn't going to regularly be getting them on their afternoon during the week. He wants more weekend time, but he isn't going to pick them up for their wednesday afternoon, after school, because.... he has to work he says (he owns his own business and has always had them on wed) and he has to pick up the two kids that just moved in with him (his girlfriends best friend moved into their house with her two kids. They are all nice but. wow, to not get your own children bc you are going to pick up somebody else's?) from school. Ouch.
Ds was in tears when he heard this last night, and I wanted to throttle my ex. He never said a word about changing the schedule before I asked if he was all set to pick them up, knew where to go etc.

OK, vent over. On the plus side, they will be more likely to eat healthy all week if they aren't having a bunch of meals there, and I work almost every saturday so they might as well be with him then, too.

blah.

((hugs))

Originally Posted by emily31

I just took my dd this morning to day three of school. Day one was fun, but she came home yesterday and cried all afternoon asking to not make me take her back. She hated how long and boring it was (that the teachers just read out of books all day), they didn't get to talk all day (even at lunch), is totally lost in the almost two hour math class (mostly lecture). She said her homeroom teacher is sooo mean, and that every time she blinked her eyes, she just kept seeing her mean face. I had a hard time taking her this morning--sure hope today is better.

Uggh, not fun! ((hugs)) I'm sure school will take some adjustment, ya know? Also, are there any other schooling options you'd consider that may be a better fit for your child?

Originally Posted by marilynmama

Update on our school week:

DD 12 is still hs'ing. We decided to send DD 8 (3rd grade) to ps and so far it is not going well! We have been unschooling and happy with that. Well, unschooling and public school do not mix. At all. DD is behind in math and fine motor skills (writing). Part of the problem is she is so stressed out and nervous she cant think and I can see the stress in her writing, etc. She is doing fine socially, its just the whole school environment that is a BIG adjustment and a lot of anxiety. I told her it would get easier but this is very hard emotionally for me watching her deal with this.

Yesterday they were working on a math page in class (expanded form) and my dd just didn't get it. The teacher sent me a note home saying she was lost and had to give her the paper back 5 times and no matter what, she wasn't getting it. Well, when she got home my husband sat down with her and in 5 minutes she "got it" and did the paper with no mistakes. I tried explaining that to the teacher but she kinda scoffed at me. She sent her math book home for the weekend so me and dh could work on some stuff with her.

I am honestly worried about all this though. HS'ing is sooooo much easier and less stressful for sure. This whole ps system is quite a trip. I can clearly see that my dd does not have the confidence that a lot of these other kids have. Its a totally different world, vastly different from the HSing world for sure.

Anyone else out there having not such a good time with this??

More hugs!! Again, I think schooling takes adjustment and I hope your child gets to that space soon. I imagine how intense it must be! Going from home to school. I think the more confidence you show in your child, the more he/she will feel that. And just letting them vent, talk, share while you validate and affirm them. Sometime you don't have to fix things, but just let them be heard and loved.


My dd starts on the 7th, we're all super excited! Can't wait to share our experiences.

[kathymuggle]

I am more at peace about DD (11) going now. I know there will be issues - but I think problem solving with her on how to deal with issues (if and when they come up) might be a learning experience for her.

I am a little excited about buying school supplies - it sound a little lame but I think she will get a kick out of it. (the girl likes to shop!!!!)

I am also (guiltily) happy to only be HSing 2 kids. Given out family dynamics - this might be easier on me and a bit more effective (especially for my youngest). I do know school can involve more work for the parent - what with homework, etc,...but the truth is DD is very self suffecient and somewhat ambitious- I doubt I will have to help her much with her homework after the first month or so.

[CherryBomb]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

I am also (guiltily) happy to only be HSing 2 kids. Given out family dynamics - this might be easier on me and a bit more effective (especially for my youngest).

Ah, I know how you feel! I'm thinking about doing k12 for dd2 next year, instead of straight ps, but in the back of mind I keep thinking "but it's so nice to only have one to school!!"

[Lisa1970]

Yes. My daughter was driving me crazy. I think the horror-mones hit. I sent her to school. I figure this will keep happening so I am planning now to send all the kids out for high school.

[kathymuggle]

Well, I enrolled DD in school today. We met with the principal yesterday, and put in the paperwork today.

On the pro side - she is being proactive about DD's educational needs (she is 2E) and seemed like a warm person. They follow the 10 minutes per grade rule for homework, so that is good. She asked if DD knows anyone in the school (she does - hence why she wants to go) and wrote down their names - hopefully she will try to buddy them up or put them in the same classes.

Cons - goodness, the kids are treated like babies a bit! This is a grade7/8 school - yet they are not allowed to go to the onsite library by themselves (not that it is open all that often), eat outside unless there is a monitor outside, or stay indoors during recess. I absolutely understand why they are doing this, but I still feel for grade 7's who are being treated like much younger kids.

I also had an odd moment: Ds has a good friend who goes to the school with a severe peanut allergy. He has complained that he has to sit at a separate table in case anyone comes in with nuts. He left me with the firm impression that the school was not nut free. Today, when I was dropping off papers, I asked if the school was nut free. The receptionist said it was. I said I was confused because I had been led to believe otherwise by xyz. A conversation ensued, a few confusing things were said, and I was left with the impression that the school is not nut free, but that adminstration tells people it is because they want food without nuts. I am absolutely fine with it being a nut free school (I am pro nut free schools)- but I do not like the fact they may have lied to me -making a recommendation sound like a policy. I will investigate further before jumping to any conclusions, however...the whole thing could be a miscommunication or my assumptions may be wrong.

[CatsCradle]

I also had an odd moment: Ds has a good friend who goes to the school with a severe peanut allergy. He has complained that he has to sit at a separate table in case anyone comes in with nuts. He left me with the firm impression that the school was not nut free.

The policy may be nut-free, and I would imagine that parents do their best to send in nut-free lunches, but there is always the risk of inadvertently sending something in that contains nuts. It is amazing the amount of foods that contain nuts as an ingredient, even if it is a minor ingredient. I imagine the school wants to avoid any risk, hence the separation. I mean, I use walnuts and pecans to make pesto sauce for pasta. I had to think about that twice before I realized that I couldn't send it in for DD's lunch. Her teachers would never know that said sauce contains nuts. It is very hard to control something like that once it is there.

[junipermuse]

Originally Posted by kathymuggle

Well, I enrolled DD in school today. We met with the principal yesterday, and put in the paperwork today.

On the pro side - she is being proactive about DD's educational needs (she is 2E) and seemed like a warm person. They follow the 10 minutes per grade rule for homework, so that is good. She asked if DD knows anyone in the school (she does - hence why she wants to go) and wrote down their names - hopefully she will try to buddy them up or put them in the same classes.

Cons - goodness, the kids are treated like babies a bit! This is a grade7/8 school - yet they are not allowed to go to the onsite library by themselves (not that it is open all that often), eat outside unless there is a monitor outside, or stay indoors during recess. I absolutely understand why they are doing this, but I still feel for grade 7's who are being treated like much younger kids.

I also had an odd moment: Ds has a good friend who goes to the school with a severe peanut allergy. He has complained that he has to sit at a separate table in case anyone comes in with nuts. He left me with the firm impression that the school was not nut free. Today, when I was dropping off papers, I asked if the school was nut free. The receptionist said it was. I said I was confused because I had been led to believe otherwise by xyz. A conversation ensued, a few confusing things were said, and I was left with the impression that the school is not nut free, but that adminstration tells people it is because they want food without nuts. I am absolutely fine with it being a nut free school (I am pro nut free schools)- but I do not like the fact they may have lied to me -making a recommendation sound like a policy. I will investigate further before jumping to any conclusions, however...the whole thing could be a miscommunication or my assumptions may be wrong.

Despite the confusion, you probably didn't misunderstand. They probably do say they are nut-free, but can't actually enforce it. It is their policy that nobody brings nuts, but in the longrun they have no way of taking action if a child or their parents insists on packing it for lunch. They probably say nut-free because then most people will just follow the rules, though probably not all. If they just say it's recommended that people don't bring nuts, most people will just do what they want to do.

[coleslaw]

Tomorrow is the first day of school. She's excited and I'm nervous. I just hope it goes well and she is accepted and her time isn't wasted. Sigh.

[bwylde]

I am a diehard unschooler but we are sending our kids to school. There are many reasons, mostly that I have been unwell, deeply depressed and things are falling apart in my home. DS possibly has aspergers and while I am glad he has interests, being asked questions about geography around the clock has me turning grey. DD is very social and needs to be around kids and there just isn't that community around here. Even putting her in everything wasn't helping (contrary to what I thought, groups, classes and clubs don't offer as much socialization as one would think as they're so structured; we can't afford to fill their every need because we are way below the poverty level). Plus a ton of other reasons. They have been asking all year to go but I wanted to feel good about it. I don't know if I do but it will have to do.

I hate that people keep asking what the final straw was or what made me decide. Other than thinking "none of your business", I just tell them it was a family decisions. Both of the kids wanted to go, so they're going.

I did manage to get them changed to a better school thanks to my connections to the school board. We met their teachers and I talked to them about my concerns. The kids got to see their classes and ask anything. My MIL and FIL work at this school and many of their friends and cousins go there, so that has me feeling better about it.

I feel so lonely that I am the only one who isn't thrilled about them going, but I am putting on a brave face for my kids because they are excited. I'm glad to read other peoples stories

[briansmama]

I can't believe I'm here as we're diehard homeschoolers, but I'm considering a child-led charter school for my soon-to-be 7 yr old ds who has never been to school.

The hardest part in making this decision is that homeschooling really works for him. He never asks to go to school, is very creative, and loves his life.

However, I'm struggling trying to meet the needs of the rest of our family. My 3 yr old is making life very hard right now and is very distracting. It's a huge problem and one that I don't know will go away soon. He seems to need a lot more 1:1 than I can give while trying to do any sort of project, game, or reading with my older ds.

I also need to get in regular workouts and this makes us all feel like we're rushing around constantly trying to find enough time to hit my yoga class, get to the library, get home in time for my little one's nap, etc. Getting to field trips and park days is getting harder and harder, as my little one hits and gets very aggressive when he's tired and cranky (it's been like this for a year).

I'm so torn. My older ds is very social and meeting his needs has been fine this summer since he's been meeting friends at our gym and swimming with them afterwards. But, they are all returning to school and he'll be the oldest one in the kid's program during the school year.

So, we're trying to figure it all out too. I'm very grateful for this thread, as I have very few people in real life to talk to about it all.