Please, talk me down off the ledge!

[BCFD]

I just found out my DD's Montessori charter school has had a DRASTIC change what started out to be a very lose "uniform" policy. The year before DD started, it was basically 7 or 8 colors of solid, collared tops and two pair of bottoms (navy and khaki). The year she started (*AFTER*) I went back to school shopping they changed the policy to any color solid top or striped tops and any color pants/skirts and jeans only allowed on Friday. I was a little miffed at that because a lot of parents would still send their kids to school with shirts with huge dinosaurs on them or characters (not TV or movie characters, but just your average generic animals/sports equipment, etc.) when I was sending my kid to school in "loose uniform" clothes - mainly Children's Place uniform jumpers, skirts, polo's and button ups. We did wear a lot of cords in the winter and normal long sleeve striped or solid t's, too. I saw a lot of the older kids with skate/snowboard shirts with VOLCOM across their chest and it would just really irritate me to no end. *IF* there was a small logo, it was ok. As long as it was smaller than a 3x5 index card.

I know it's up to the teacher to enforce the dress code and I even was concerned once when I sent my DD to school wearing a headband with very small flowers on it (flower and plaid prints were not part of the dress code).

Anyway, this year I went back to school shopping on Friday and bought about $500 worth of new school clothes for my 1st grader and kindy student. Again, mostly jumpers, skirts, and pants from The Children's Place and Old Navy. Today, I find out the school changed their policy to ANYTHING goes except graphic/violence on shirts and no character lunch boxes, backpacks, or shoes.

I AM SCREAMING MAD!!!!! Not because I spent $500 on uniform-ish type clothes, but because kids in their Montessori school are now allowed to wear shirts with Spongebob on them as long as they are smaller than 3x5. I am all for uniforms because I think it tends to be less distracting for the kids. I know some people think that uniforms tend to stifle children's creativity. I dunno....I'm just irritated that every single year it gets looser and looser. What's next year going to be like? Anything goes?

Maybe I need to go read and absorb Alfie Kohn's take on uniforms and try hard to make myself believe it. LOL!!!

How do you feel about uniforms or at least PLAIN solid/stripes/collar shirts in Montessori school?? Talk me down...please????

[lach]

I don't really care for uniforms, but I can see the wisdom of a Waldorf-esque "no media characters" policy. I think that kids can get very attached to these sorts of characters and it can become distracting. There's always been an emphasis on having "cool" clothes, but the character wear seems to bring that down to younger and younger levels and I don't think that should be encouraged. For example, 2nd graders might not care about the right brand of jeans in the way that a high school student does, but if everyone else has a Spongebob shirt then she wants to prove herself too. Or up the ante by showing up in, say, a South Park shirt.

There's no practical reason why this couldn't be true for a specific article of non-character clothing, but for some reason I don't think that it actually happens that OMG all the cool kids want the same striped shirt from Children's Place or the same shirt with a pony from Land's End. It's definitely more predominant with logos and character wear. And character wear is basically just another logo when you think about it: just a really big one that's been test marketed on lots of kids!

All that being said, I don't really think that this is a Montessori issue. So far as I know, there isn't any strong Montessori philosophy about clothing. I do think that I would be VERY annoyed that they changed their uniform policy so close to school. Many parents shop ahead of time, and to change the policy only a few weeks before school starts seems very inconsiderate.

[GuildJenn]

I'd let the school know how I felt about it. I'm not sure I would care a lot, except at being out of the loop.

How I feel about it is...ehn. I like our school's uniform because it cuts down on arguing. But I don't personally believe it makes a huge difference one way or another - kids who want to use clothing for status will find a way to do it with uniforms. Our school has an interesting compromise where Fridays they can wear what they like.

My son didn't have branded things for a while, and then he got a pack of stickers from a friend and used them to make branded t-shirts. At 2.5. So now he has some branded stuff. At first I tried to confine it to pyjamas but it has spread. I don't think it's ruined him or his peer relationships.

[MattBronsil]

I've always wondered about the distraction argument, as it's never made sense to me. I've never seen a child spend the entire 3 hour work cycle staring at another child's Sponge Bob shirt and unable to get any work done because of that.

[aratiaw]

Where I live, pretty much all non-Montessori schools, public or private, have uniforms. DD's Montessori school (3yo to 12yo) doesn't have a uniform and I've never heard of any issues with clothing choices. All we've been told is to make sure her clothing is practical, i.e. not "best" outfits that could get ruined in the course of normal school activities, and to make sure everything is labelled, has loops for hanging, etc.. I see kids there with character back packs, umbrellas, etc., but their actual clothing is generally branding/character-free.
I didn't realise there were Montessori schools with uniforms. To me, it is consistent with Montessori philosophy to allow freedom of choice with clothing. However, I can see why you'd be angry about the uniform policy changing at such short notice.

[lach]

Originally Posted by MattBronsil

I've always wondered about the distraction argument, as it's never made sense to me. I've never seen a child spend the entire 3 hour work cycle staring at another child's Sponge Bob shirt and unable to get any work done because of that.

Um, I don't think a child has to spend the whole 3 hours staring without doing anything else for something to count as distracting and not worth the trouble of allowing. It's the same reason schools ban trends like silly bandz.

[jenna111]

From the other side of the fence

First, I will grant you it seems a poor choice to change the dress code this close to school.

I do think that clothing is a way kids express themselves as well as moms. Except the catholic schools none of the schools in our area have uniforms. All have a few rules like no halter tops. It would REALLY bother me if they took that self expression away from my children but I might except it if it was for a uniform but I could not except it for color and style restrictions.

I do think there are advantages to a uniform the main one being it takes away some of competitive nature of dressing. The second one being you don't have to think about what to wear each morning. Once you start allowing different colors or whatever else the phone is going to start ringing about 7:30 am with the what are you wearing phone calls.

My daughters care a lot about what they are wearing (right now they prefer either dresses or skirts with some type of glitter or rhinestones) but right now I rarely here about what anybody else is wearing. Our M school allows any character or whatever but I see them much less then on the public school kids. So really I think clothes are little of a distraction unless its shoes that or hard to get off clothes snow pants won't fit over or another practical type issue.

On the distraction issue my older DD is as distractable as they get and obsessed with material things. (Drives me nuts but that is another problem) She will frequently try to smuggle toys in her backpack or spend an hour after school telling me about the toy someone else smuggled in. We have had to disallow headbands, watches and necklaces because she will spend a good portion of her work cycle trying (taking them off and on, playing with them ect. ) to use them to brag and get attention from other kids. Anyhow, if kids want to get attention there are other ways. However, as mentioned about she doesn't obsess over clothes.

Don't know if that helped or even made sense but just the other side of the story.

Jennifer

[daytripper75]

I can see how you'd be upset about them changing the dress code on you, it seems like you really liked the stricter dress code.
My daughters school doesn't have a dress code at all and there never seems to be a problem even when children come in wearing characters or brands.
If I were you I would just continue to dress my child the way I wanted to and not worry about what the others are doing.

[carmel23]

Originally Posted by MattBronsil

I've always wondered about the distraction argument, as it's never made sense to me. I've never seen a child spend the entire 3 hour work cycle staring at another child's Sponge Bob shirt and unable to get any work done because of that.

Poor sponge bob.

I *like* that the policy of our Charter is no characters. But it isn't always enforced, because some families might not be able to go out and buy a new lunch box, etc. If they wear a shirt with a character, though, they are sent to the bathroom to turn it inside out.

As a parent I kind of like uniforms, because its like a no brainer getting ready in the morning. You just get the clothing on, everyone is wearing it, and go.

I don't think it does anything to creativity and really I do think it makes kids less competitive, especially grades 4 and up.

Our school just changed its policy to a no slipper all "croc type" shoe and thank goodness they gave us a lot of warning because if I had bought one thing for 3 kids, I wouldn't have been able to return it and buy the crocs type shoe.

Anyway, I can see why you are miffed. But I never go and get my kid's school wardrobe (may only one outfit before school) because one year my kid grew a complete size by the time school started! 3 months into school and he couldn't fit into his school clothes!

So now I spread it out. Not every family can go and buy a new wardrobe; a lot of kids wear whatever they can get.

[3belles]

I like the child's ability to dress themselves, in any way suitable and comfortable. It seems REALLY wishy washy of the school to flip-flop their opinions on such things. It may end up being distracting if all of a sudden these items are allowed?