Does anyone feel jealous around "happy couples" - Page 2

[over_the_rainbow]

Yep. Absolutely. I am living with married couple who have a toddler and one on the way and everyday my heart aches when their Little Boy gets to play with Mummy AND Daddy and my Little Man just has me. Or when he talks to her bump. Or rubs her feet. Or they talk about the little house they want to buy. Or when I have to go to work when all I want to do is stay home and be a Mummy just like my friend.

Although, echoing everyone elses sentiments, other peoples relationships are never what you think they are from the outside. My STBX has left me for another woman and people are genuinly shocked when they find out and can not understand why we are not reconciling. (!)

I am already enjoying my freedom which is my upside right now, however, sometimes I feel very alone. But, honestly, being in a relationship with STBX was often a very lonely place as well.

[chimomma]

I am unhappily married and stalking this forum in my fantasy about being a single mom. I just wanted to let you ladies know that I really can relate to how you all feel and even though this is not a happy thread, it has really brightened my day to realize so many people are going through exactly what I am.

[MyLilPwny]

Originally Posted by chimomma

I am unhappily married and stalking this forum in my fantasy about being a single mom.

That is me too, about fantasizing being single while still married. Well I actually took the step a month ago now to tell my husband that I want a divorce, and we are proceeding with it. On the surface, I know that people think we are a "happy couple". But about the jealousy thing, so I've been married for six years and yes I would get jealous over "happy couples" and dream about divorcing to find the right man, but probably even more jealous of single moms who actually took the step forward to divorce their husbands. For the last few years I've been dreading spending the rest of my life with my husband and now that I decided to pursue the divorce, I feel so happy that now my life is turning in the right direction rather than being doomed with my husband forever, and I really don't feel jealous anymore about "happy couples" because now I'm finding the right man, and also I don't have to feel jealous about single moms who left their husbands because now I'm one too and I love this freedom.

[trippingbillies]

OP-I feel your pain. I was a former military wife and the worst is to go on my facebook and she all these SAHMs to school aged kids whose husband bring in the money and they get to be ladies of leisure all day while I work two jobs and no man wants me....good times....

[butterfly1976]

Maybe a long time ago, but not anymore. I had the sadness and pity parties and all of that. Now since I'm older (hopefully a little bit wiser, LOL) I know THOSE couples have hard times as well. Everyone has rough patches in life. People grow and they change. A lot of my older relatives have been married 30+ years. You fight, get on each other's nerves, etc. It happens. Heck, I even get mad at myself sometimes. LOL

If someone tries to convince me they have the perfect/ideal life.........to me that's a red flag. Cause I think if you're truly happy, you don't give a damn what anyone thinks. You don't have anything to prove.

I had a good friend of mine many years ago, who loved to brag about her perfect marriage/life. Well when it all hit the fan, she had slept with her brother-in-law and also had an affair with a married man. Perfect marriage? Nah.......

No one truly knows what goes on behind closed doors. Only God and the flies on the walls.

[anon_abroad]

Over the last couple of years I have noticed that a few couples in my village which I thought had very dull lives with nothing special about them actually have these amazingly loving relationships, where the husband totally voluntarily and happily spends time with his family and his kids, and the husband and wife not only get along, but enjoy eachother's company. I love/loved noticing that!

Many years ago it really hurt me to see other happy couples, I couldn't bear to even look at them hug and kiss without getting tears in my eyes. But now I'm in a place where I know I'm not 'couple' material at the moment and I have to own it and learn be a true 'single'.

[singin'intherain]

[QUOTE=single_cj;15694379
The way I'm starting to see it, I made a bad choice. When my husband proposed, turns out I gave him the wrong finger[/QUOTE]

:rotf lmao

[DCMama01]

I guess I'm in the minority here. They give me hope.

What depresses me is UNhappy couples.

[Lilypie32]

Well, I can tell you that perfect couple/home/child does not attribute to a hill of beans. My ex and I dated for a few years, got engaged, had a great relationship, did it all like it is supposed to be done and BOOM we're divorced. We had the nice house with the white picket fence, 2 dogs, 2 kids, etc. It was perfect. Then it all changed and life has never been the same again.

[Jessnet]

Originally Posted by trippingbillies

OP-I feel your pain. I was a former military wife and the worst is to go on my facebook and she all these SAHMs to school aged kids whose husband bring in the money and they get to be ladies of leisure all day while I work two jobs and no man wants me....good times....

You COULD be happy in a relationship. And you could even maybe find a man who would let you stay home, oh wait, but you won't "settle" for a man who might make good money and let you stay home, but is just not edukated enough for you.

If you cut yourself off from men before even giving them a chance, you will never find anyone. A degree does not equal education or refinement. As a PhD student, I have been around a lot of educated and uneducated men. The difference is only important to those who are insecure about their own position in society.

[trippingbillies]

Originally Posted by Jessnet

You COULD be happy in a relationship. And you could even maybe find a man who would let you stay home, oh wait, but you won't "settle" for a man who might make good money and let you stay home, but is just not edukated enough for you.

If you cut yourself off from men before even giving them a chance, you will never find anyone. A degree does not equal education or refinement. As a PhD student, I have been around a lot of educated and uneducated men. The difference is only important to those who are insecure about their own position in society.

Was this necessary? I mean, really? The mods shut down the other thread(although to be honest I feeling a bit censored but whatev) and here you are. Like I said, we all have our "non negotiables" and mine happens to be that I want a super motivated indivudual. Lay off.

[princesstutu]

OP: No, not anymore. Of course, I was bitter about things for a (long) while and that contributed to my feelings.

I don't think there is a "right way" to do this thing called Life. Please don't beat yourself up about your choices! I've learned that the easiest way to feel badly about my self is to compare my life to someone else's. Everyone has things they are working on or need to work on. C'est la vie!

I've gotten to the point where happy couples bring joyous feelings into my body and I can't wait to get married, again! I worked on me and now, I feel ready to be a partner to someone else. Life is good!

[haydn'smommy]

Since I'm just starting this journey, a big resounding yes. I'm jealous and it just makes me sad. Especially my sweet families in my office with their new babes....it kills me. I want another child and now I know for sure that it won't happen. I wanted to be that happy family with dad, mom and kids, and I know that that dream is over. I'm jealous of their togetherness and happiness.

[mimim]

More like wistful. Not jealous exactly, because I don't feel any resentment toward them. When I first was divorced, I felt relieved to not have that responsibility any more.

But someday, I hope to be half of one of those elderly couples that seems to have been together forever. I guess I better get cracking on finding a partner for that.

[candycat]

Not with people I'm friends with. For me it comes when I see a smiling couple walking down the street with a stroller, heading to the park. (We live right by a park in a very family-friendly neighborhood, so this happens a dozen times a day at least.)

When it comes to friends, I'm either happy for them or a touch cynical, depending on how I evaluate the state of their marriage, keeping in mind that I'm an outsider and things may not always be what they seem.

[PirateMommy]

I've been through all stages of relationships. Single, married, divorced, single, and now back into a healthier relationship. What I have learned is this: Be happy for others when they are happy. Happiness, in even the best of circumstances, can be fleeting for ALL of us. You'd be surprised at how much your outlook changes in all areas of your life if can learn to let go of the jealousy.

"Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead. Sometimes you're behind. The race is long. And in the end it is only with yourself." - Baz Luhrman

Not saying it will always be easy, but it will always be worth it. Good luck and remember there is a perfect stranger out there who hopes for your happiness.

[simplemama32]

PirateMommy -- what a great post. I'm adding that quote to my favorites...

[Phoenix~Mama]

That is a great quote, PirateMommy! I need to add it to my quote list too!


I can say even since I last posted on this thread... I feel better about happy couples. I've accepted that my set of cards was to go this pregnancy alone, for likely a very good reason set by the Higher Powers that be.

I can see myself becoming a stronger person. I know that I have found a lot of answers from this past relationship in regards to my life. And that information/knowledge has been priceless.

So, I'm going to agree with some of the PP's who stated seeing happy couples/marriages makes them hopeful. That is how I feel at the moment. I'm a romantic at heart, and I beleive something better/more is out there for me yet. The time is just not right now. Right now, I'm regaining me, and learning/growing to be one hell of a strong Mama. lol

[PirateMommy]

I'm glad you both liked the quote. It is one of my favorites, and one of the best to live by. So very, very true.

And Phoenix~Mama - it sounds like you are doing a great job & going in the right direction! There is something better for you and it ALWAYS starts from within. It may sound overly simple or cliched but I've found it to be true. We are literally surrounded by an often hostile world going through some very dark times - to see ANYONE happy gives me joy, and I don't need to know who they are or why they are happy. It is just enough that they are. Because it is often so tenuous, everyone deserves whatever they can get for however long it lasts.

[Bad Mama Jama]

i don't know if my feeling is jealousy so much as feeling: i'm a good person. why am i still alone? but it comes and goes. i've kind of resigned that i am going to be alone for quite a while to come unless something really major happens. who is to say it won't, but it will definitely be totally unexpected!