Orthodox Christian Mamas - Page 6

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by PseudoDiva 

My first son screamed nonstop in the car for his first 4 months.  My second is on track to do the same.  Sitting next to him helps...sometimes.  I am virtually housebound at this point because the crying while I drive is so distressing to me.  So no, they don't do too well in the car.  

I fully expect to participate in Liturgy at a distance and I don't mind that.  My participation is of a different kind right now.  I guess I was more asking how people have found a balance between observing Church traditions and not overtiring the little ones.  

well, ok, that would keep me from going almost anywhere,  My youngest gave me car grief but only if i stopped moving.  so long trips were actually better. I will be praying for you.  That has got to suck regardless of where you are going, why or how far it is.  

When mine were babies I just did the best I could as far s not tiring them out.  Sundays were always full of crabby kids and messed up schedules though.  You have two kids and a husband.  How does their dad do?  Could you just each take one and power through it come what may?   how does your older one process the world?  does he need to run and get energy out before settling down or does he nee to be in a stimmulous free environment?  I guess the most important thing is knowing your child and what they can handle and knowing you and your husband and what you can handle and then finding what works for you.  Like I said I never worried about interruptions in schedules or cranky children. I would just suffer through it.  But a hour of solid screaming in the car both ways.  that would have factored into things in a big way.  

[PseudoDiva]

Originally Posted by lilyka 

well, ok, that would keep me from going almost anywhere,  My youngest gave me car grief but only if i stopped moving.  so long trips were actually better. I will be praying for you.  That has got to suck regardless of where you are going, why or how far it is.  

When mine were babies I just did the best I could as far s not tiring them out.  Sundays were always full of crabby kids and messed up schedules though.  You have two kids and a husband.  How does their dad do?  Could you just each take one and power through it come what may?   how does your older one process the world?  does he need to run and get energy out before settling down or does he nee to be in a stimmulous free environment?  I guess the most important thing is knowing your child and what they can handle and knowing you and your husband and what you can handle and then finding what works for you.  Like I said I never worried about interruptions in schedules or cranky children. I would just suffer through it.  But a hour of solid screaming in the car both ways.  that would have factored into things in a big way.  

My husband is great.  He usually takes the older one, and I take the baby.  We both sing in the choir, so sometimes we get help from godparents or willing teenage girls in the parish.  

Yeah.  At this point it's definitely the "getting there" issue and less the "what happens while we are there" issue.  

[delicate_sunshine]

A 40 minute drive sounds divine!  We've been driving an hour and a half to get to church for about 2 1/2 years now!  We recently moved and wanted to move somewhere closer to a church (a 45 minute drive was our aim!)but it was not to be.  Anyway, all that to say that if it were nonstop screaming the whole time, I'd really reconsider it.  As it is, our littlest two sleep for most of the way and we let our oldest play Mario on his gameboy for the ride both ways (to put him in a prayerful mood, lol!) so we deal with it.  I hope it starts working out for you.

[PseudoDiva]

Thanks...yes, it could be much longer, I agree.  We have gotten to the point where he is usually happy when I am sitting next to him, not at all if I'm not.  So, inch by inch, it is improving!

[PseudoDiva]

DS2 is going to be baptized in a few weeks.  DS1 was baptized on a Saturday so that all our non-Orthodox family could attend.  This time we planned it for a Sunday.  DH's family is going to attend.  So is my agnostic sister.  

My parents have chosen not to come.  My dad and brother have a snow trip they want to go to, and my mom says that she would have come if it wasn't on a Sunday, but "that is when I will be in worship."  They are staunchly Reformed and antagonistic towards our faith.  More antagonistic than I realized, I guess.

I can't say I'm surprised.  But I am hurt.  I am hurt that my church is so distasteful to her that she would let it overpower any desire she had to participate in this once-in-a-lifetime event.  

I take hope in this: I choose to follow Christ.  I choose to follow Christ as He has been set forth by the Church of His apostles.  If this is the price I have to pay, then I count it very small to have finally found my spiritual home. 

I thought some of you mamas would understand, if you have Christian but non-Orthodox family members...

[delicate_sunshine]

  I understand, Mama!  We had DS2 baptized in the summer and my mom did come (because she had missed when we had our older children baptized and we joined the church as a family).  She told me later that it was the most boring thing she had ever done in her life.  She came because she felt obligated since my dad was coming (can't let the ex-husband outshine her).  It's really difficult having family members of another Christian faith think that yours isn't valid.  I'm sorry you have to deal with this.  

[delicate_sunshine]

lilyka, I love your profile picture by the way.  What a yummy harvest!  It makes me want to sink my teeth into that tomato every time I see it.

[lilyka]

You know, I had family at my kids baptism because it seemed so important at the time.  The events that transpired are legendary in our church.  It was awful.  Looking back I wish I had been less concerned with including my family and more concerned about doing it at a time when church family could be there.  My family did not appreciate it.  So it was not a big deal to them.  It did not mean anything to them.  If your family is going to be hostile perhaps it is better if they are not there anyway.  Then you can focus more on making this once in a lifetime event meaningful and special for you and not worry about your families reactions and judgements. 

[delicate_sunshine]

Great advice!  That is definitely my plan for future babies!

[PseudoDiva]

Originally Posted by lilyka 

You know, I had family at my kids baptism because it seemed so important at the time.  The events that transpired are legendary in our church.  It was awful.  Looking back I wish I had been less concerned with including my family and more concerned about doing it at a time when church family could be there.  My family did not appreciate it.  So it was not a big deal to them.  It did not mean anything to them.  If your family is going to be hostile perhaps it is better if they are not there anyway.  Then you can focus more on making this once in a lifetime event meaningful and special for you and not worry about your families reactions and judgements. 

Lilyka, you're so right.  It is a blessing in disguise, I believe.  Why should I try and convenience my family, when they won't even uphold our faith?  

My mother actually walked out of our chrismation service.  It was not very nice at all.  

[lilyka]

The kids dad walked out between the baptism and Chrismation.  His parents stayed.  Then it got hostile.  My lawyer wrote a stern letter.  it was that kind of bad.   BUT on some level I understand where they are coming from.  This is not their faith and they saw it through the lense of their beliefs and thought I was taking the grand kids on the fast track to hell.  I have decided sacraments are for those who participate in the sacraments along side me.  Everyone else can come to the after party.  If I get married again I think I will invite select close friends  and church family to the actual wedding and everyone else just to the reception.   There is not point to include a bunch of people who are just going to be fuming and judging me.

[PseudoDiva]

Originally Posted by lilyka 

The kids dad walked out between the baptism and Chrismation.  His parents stayed.  Then it got hostile.  My lawyer wrote a stern letter.  it was that kind of bad.   BUT on some level I understand where they are coming from.  This is not their faith and they saw it through the lense of their beliefs and thought I was taking the grand kids on the fast track to hell.  I have decided sacraments are for those who participate in the sacraments along side me.  Everyone else can come to the after party.  If I get married again I think I will invite select close friends  and church family to the actual wedding and everyone else just to the reception.   There is not point to include a bunch of people who are just going to be fuming and judging me.

THAT.  Just...why didn't I think of that sooner?  

Oh well, God willing, there will be a Next Time.  :-)

A lawyer's letter was involved?  That sounds awful. 

[lilyka]

I already had a lawyer writing stern letters.  Th girls and I had been Orthodox for over a year but the girls were not baptized because we were hoping my husband would join the church with us and we were waiting on God's perfect timing.  blah blah blah he was involved in an affair for 6 years, blessing for a divorce,  no need to wait, girls baptized immediately.  I filed for a divorce on a Monday they were baptized on Saturday.  So there was already a lot of tension.  And then I went off and joined the papists (because anything now evangelical protestant must be Catholic).  It was pretty ugly though and I was livid.  And it as so odd because my FIL had never said a harsh word to me about anything and he was yelling at me.  I was just crushed.  and then I found out he had words with the priest and the guys serving.  I don't know exactly what happened but they said if he had any questions about the church etc that I should refer him to them and they would handle it.  They were sooooo gracious and kind towards him.  I did not read the letter but it resulted in my ex apologizing.  It may be the only apology I got through the whole thing.  My lawyer was pretty scary though.  At least the ex left quietly and at a good spot to go.  the girls did not even realize e had left until it was over so they were not distracted by it at all.  and during the baptism their backs were facing the congregation so they could not see the looks of disgust on peoples faces. :(  Thank goodness.

BUT 

It just feels right to invite family to your kids baptism though.  I can understand why you want to.  The reality, though, is that they do not want to be there.  It was nice of you to try and include them.  And if they just don't feel like coming perhaps that is for the best.  You got to invite them and do you duty but you don't have to watch them scowl at you through the whole thing.  They can't say you did not try to include them.  win win.  

[delicate_sunshine]

Great Lent is almost upon us!  I'm hoping to do a better job this year since I'm not preggo :)

[PseudoDiva]

What do you nursing mamas do about Lent?  Do you restrict some things?  I eat a no-grain, no processed foods, no-sugar diet, and I get pretty woozy if I don't eat plenty of protein.  

[delicate_sunshine]

I'm really not sure how I'm going to handle it.  I also get to feeling pretty yucky if I don't get lots of protein (and seriously, you can only eat so many beans lol).  I've got a pretty vegan menu planned for this week - I'll see how it goes and reevaluate for next week from there.  I'm tandem nursing, so it really takes a lot to fill me up and keep me going.  I'm definitely committed to giving up sweets because nobody NEEDS ice cream, no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I might.  But, like Lilyka said, we are growing babies and I want to make sure that I give them everything they need.

[PseudoDiva]

I had a nice talk with my priest last night.  He said that even though I'm excused because of the nursing (I'm tandemming as well) that it's not an excuse to eat whatever.  Most of all it's important to pray, otherwise fasting is useless.  I am glad I talked to him and that he and I are in agreement about what I should be trying to do.  :-)

[sraplayas]

Before I was preggers and just nursing, I did restrict my diet to avoid most sweets during Lent--at least I tried to keep them vegan. But now that I'm preggers and this has been such a stressfull pregnancy, I'm just aiming to keep healthy, hydrated and prayerful. :) It is so good to have a spiritual father that can help answer these Q's, I think. Sometimes I am harder on myself than I need to be!

What are you all doing for this next week and the Sunday of Orthodoxy?

We are going to bring our icons to church, but if anyone has any other ways they incorporate this into their week I'm really interested.

I am trying to plan something different for each week of Lent but so far I just have from St. John the Ladder to Pascha.

Have any of you looked at the Liturgical Life For Little Ones blog? There are some fab ideas there and I also enjoy the Adventures of an Orthodox Mama.

[lilyka]

I bought this book to use for Sunday School.  http://www.conciliarpress.com/products/Lent%2C-Wonderful-Lent%21.html  And it is a nice way to highlight each week.  

Also this web sight has some fun craft ideas for children.  http://www.orthodoxchristiancraftsupply.com/category/great-lent

[sraplayas]

lilyka--thanks for your suggestions! They look good. :)

Are you all making it to services? We are having Pre-Sanctified Liturgies and soon Akathist and I am hoping/praying to make it tonight. Do you find it tough to make these services during the school week? It seems like I barely have time to feed them, get homework done and make it on time--and we live very close to church.

I'm looking forward to St. Patrick's Day this week b/c I love to teach them about the Trinity and St. Patrick's ministry. :) Also...the Irish Soda Bread. :)

I have two pregnancy/birth related Q's for you all:

First, I'm on my 3rd pregnancy and it looks like no one is hosting a shower/party for baby #3. I would really like to celebrate this pregnancy/baby and many have suggested a BlessingWay but I am of course wondering how this idea could be done within the fullness of Orthodoxy. Have any of you done anything creative to celebrate baby on your own? What did you do? How did you go about it?

Second, I am part of a bead exchange in my Month group here, and we are all sending "affirmations" with our bead for each mama. I think it is a great idea, but don't have tons of spare time to research and can't think of one that grabs me. I was thinking it would be so neat if there was an empowering motherhood-type quote from a Saint I could include. What do you all think?