Easy/Hard Parenting decisions - Page 2

[DebraBaker]

Most of the AP stuff was easy (Breastfeeding-nobrainer, cosleeping, easy, slinging, fine)

Vax was the hardest one to reason because I believe there are inherent dangers either way, there's no one clear right way to go. We don't vax but would if there was an outbreak of, say rubella.

GD is easy philosophically but difficult in practice.

[somemama]

Re: Easy/Hard Parenting decisions

Not circ'ing: Easy, easy, easy, super easy. Not even my decision to make. (I just protected his bodily integrity.)

Vax: Tough. Still deciding.

EBF and pumping: Easier than I thought!

[Ms. Frizzle]

Gentle Discipline: Easy, although there are times I have to lock myself in the bathrrom and scream really loud, lol. I was slapped around and spanked by my mother..my goal is to be the type of parent she wasn't.

Circ: Very easy! even thinking about letting someone cut off an important part of my sons penis makes me feel sick.

Vax: Hmm, hard. I wish that I had known 5.5 years ago what I know now. i spent years going back and forth on this, and I finally decided that they are not a good idea.

EBF: Not a problem at all.

Co-sleeping: Like many mothers I was beiong told that it's a 'bad habit' if I let him in my bed now, he will never leave, blah, blah.. my olders co slept with us from the age of 5 months, to 3 years. My youngest has slept in our bed since the day he was born..he will stay oin our bed as long he wants.

Baby-wearing: I believe babyweaaring is very important, and is a *must* for the first few months. Babies are in our bellies for such a long time, they need to be weaned away from our bodies as slowly as possible. Even now at 14 months we sling for many hours a day.

Diapering: I don't believe that diapering has anything to do with parenting. with my oldest I used huggies, and I use cloth on my youngest. I wish that I has used cloth on my oldest though.

Great poll, BTW!

[asherah]

Wow. I am sooo glad to know I am not the only one to struggle with vax!

And it so great to see that so many mamas felt so many ap practices were easy and natural. Especially because I am not always very confident in my decisions.. even when they were easy to make (if that makes sense).

I am just not very confident in my mother-self.

[beaner&tiegs]

Most of the natural parenting stuff was very easy for me, as that was how I was raised....so it just came naturally. DH not raised this way at all, so not as natural to him, but he believes that it is the right way. HOwever I notice that with GD it is such a journey with each stage, and I do so much reading and soul searching around it, being with them 24/7, whereas DH tends to rely on his upbringing which can be not AS respectful. But again, it all depends on the scenario, how tired we all are, etc. Vax is the hardest for us - don't feel great not doing them, don't feel great doing them, wish there were more information that was not so much scare tactics from either side. And next is homeschooling decision.......have always wanted to unschool, love the idea of it, just realizing how much of my life it will take in many ways....but school also takes up so much of your life and you have to schedule around it, etc. That one is semi-hard!!!!

[campingmumma]

My biggest struggle right now is gentle discipline. Our 2 1/2 yo and 5 1/2 yo constantly bicker with each other I need to practice more deep breathing :LOL

Our son is circ. - it was my husband's decision. He's more familiar with the equipment.

As for vaxs., my kids get them all and I'm comfortable with our decision.

Bf'ing, babywearing, co-sleeping - no problems at all, but we don't have a family bed - I booted everyone out by age 1. And as for cloth - just another channel for my shopping addiction :LOL

[Mona]

I TOTALLY agree somemama

Back on topic,
for me, all choices were pretty easy, actually.
once i had read about vaccines, no way were those chemicals getting into my baby.
i had a girl, but had i had a boy, no genital mutilation for him.
diapering- i'm en evironmentalist, so had to do cloth. for her sake and the earths
family bed- we don't even own a crib. :LOL
gd- will be challenging as we go along, i'm sure. but already it is so rewarding. and it makes me a better person to.
bfing and baby wearing- doing it, loving it.

[dado]

Re: Easy/Hard Parenting decisions

Gentle Discipline: easy.

Circ: difficult and hoping next child is a DD so i can avoid the issue entirely.

Vax: easy, don't have a problem with most vaxing.

EBF: easy, seems like the most natural path.

Co-sleeping: ditto, infants belong with their parents

Baby-wearing: easy. if nothing else, it's very very cool.

Diapering: hard because i didn't know what modern cloth diaper was like, easy once i got into it and wouldn't do it any other way in the future.

[Piglet68]

Given the overall supportive theme of this thread, it would be nice if people could post about their decisions without getting flamed for it....

[campingmumma]

Originally posted by Piglet68
Given the overall supportive theme of this thread, it would be nice if people could post about their decisions without getting flamed for it....

THANK YOU - this is why I often lurk instead of post!

[campingmumma]

Originally posted by somemama


This is such a cop-out and I just want to puke every time I hear a mama say it. You still have to be a responsible parent (and take part in the decision-making process) regardless of whether or not you have a penis.

[/B]

So I guess I'm soooooooooo irresponsible!!!!!!! Sorry to make you puke. I guess my dh shouldn't have any say in matters!!!

[joesmom]

Gentle Discipline: easy in the sense that i KNOW that is the way to parent, hard (for me!) not to fall in the traps of yelling & being impatient.

Circ: easy- joe was circed, i had not done research otherwise. i do not regret my decision because he was fine afterwards, he nursed like a champ & has NEVER had any problems.

Vax: easy @ the time, joe had all his vaxes but i think he is due for some since he is five now, i am debating what to do. he has not been to the dr. since he was three.

EBF: super duper easy, never a question. joe weaned at almost 4 years.

Co-sleeping: again, easy, joe still sleeps next to me, his toddler bed is pushed up next to mine.

Baby-wearing: hurt my back to have joe in a sling, i am 5'3" & 98 lbs & he was 20 lbs at THREE MONTHS! but it was easy for me to carry him in my arms so that is what i did. he was rarely ever in a stroller.

Diapering: lived & learned & then got luvs! hey, it worked for ME!

um, what else... joe will be homeschooled, prob. UNschooled, he watches a lot of TV but he learns a lot too. he eats too much junk food but he is tall & slim so... i am working on green veggies, he is opposed to eating green things. :LOL

every parenting decision i have made has been right. right for me & joe, & that is what is important!

[Piglet68]

I'm temporarily closing this thread...

edited to add:

Okay, I've reopened it.

Please refrain from flaming, or attacking members for their decisions. If you wish to discuss the issue of circ'ing or any other parenting practice, there are appropriate forums for this and you are welcome to start a thread on the subject. But let's please keep this thread in the light and supportive tone it's held thus far, so that all may enjoy the conversation without me having to shut it down again.

I thank you all for your cooperation!

[campingmumma]

First, let me clarify that I didn't abdicate my responsibility on our decision to circ. ds based on my gender. I didn't say to DH "You have a penis - you decide." I was responding quickly and light-heartingly to the thread.

FWIW, I was against circ. and dh was for it. I feel he made some valid points and I trusted his decision.

Back to the GD issue, if anyone has some book recommends, I would greatly appreciate them

[Britishmum]

Gentle Discipline: Easy.
Circ: No-brainer. Just hard to understand anyone who does it
Vax: Agonising
EBF: Easy
Co-sleeping: Had no choice if we were going to get any sleep
Baby-wearing: Didnt do it much, I had huge babies! But I did hold baby #1 24/7, and #2 a lot, but am not the sort of athlete who can run around after a toddler with a huge baby in a sling or backpack. :
Diapering: Easy, couldnt imagine doing anything else now

[Quirky]

easy for me, not so easy for dh...

bf: easy decision, not so easy in practice. months and months of hard work before ds finally got it!

ebf: easy. now that ds has gotten it, he's not giving it up!

circ: easy for me, not so easy for dh who's still in big time denial about the harms of circumcision - who wants to admit that his penis is missing something because his parents cut him? but ds would have been circed over my dead body.

co-sleep: easy for me, not at all easy for dh. This is the one area (so far) where dh and I have serious fights about the way we parent.

vax: hard hard hard. we haven't done any so far and I don't want to at all....but dh thinks we're just delaying. We have a lot of : to do about this one.

GD: easy in theory, sometimes hard in practice. I was yelled at and spanked, and it's hard to overcome my operant conditioning. (eta: I control the urge to spank but it's hard not to yell sometimes. )

TV: I am embarrassed to admit ds is addicted to Wiggles videos and when I want to make dinner I'll pop one in.

CDs: came to them a little late (at 3 months) after starting elimination communication with ds. Ashamed to admit that I swore I'd never use them - that is, until I learned that there's more to life than prefolds and plastic pants!

Healthy eating: I'm vegetarian and dh is vegetarian at home, and ds has been vegetarian so far if you don't count the piece of cat food he ate. This is another issue for : with dh as dh doesn't want ds to have to be veg.

School: that's a problem for another day, I've got a couple years yet to stress about other stuff! :LOL

[Katana]

GD - Easy to want, so hard to do. I think I'm doing well, but I have some baggage to put down from my own childhood yet. I don't hit, but I do have a problem with raising my voice, especially if they do something that scares me.

Circ - This one was so tough. I wish I'd found Mothering/MDC before I had ds. Or someone who knew what the deal was Anyway, I know differently if there ever is a next time.

EBF - I feel like I am the only mother alive who had kids that were too interested in other things than me. Ds made it to 7 months, and dd and I battled to 11.75 months. I cried, desperately, both times I had to stop. I still had stuff to give, they just wanted to play or run around or do flips off the couch more.

Vaxing - This is the only easy one for me. We don't do it. Too many reactions in both sides of the family.

Co-sleep - Ds didn't like it when he was tiny. Then, he turned 4, and he does it a lot, even now. Dd did it for a very long time, and still takes naps with me. I love it, so much.

CD - couldn't afford to start, so we used disposables for both. I really want to try it. Now if dh will just cooperate.

Healthy eating - Have always done it, but it's how I was raised. We do eat meat, both dh and I can't do without . Ds and dd don't have to eat meat if they don't want to, or anything else they don't like. They do eat a lot of cookies.

TV - They love Thomas the Train and Scooby Doo (original) videos. They don't really watch them, but they like them to be on.

School - Oh man, this is so difficult. We're starting in public school, and taking it a semester at a time.

All in all, I feel like I would really like to have another baby, just to do some things differently than I have with the first two. Everything, mostly, is just so confusing and hard. I wish it came more easily to me.

[asherah]

Please take your circ discussion OUT of this thread.
This is NOT the place for it.
This is for people to share their decision-making process withOUT being judged or flamed.

[mamaofthree]

Camping: The GD board has a whole list of GD books. They are great! One I personally felt very helpful was "When Anger Hurts Your Kids" Anytime I am at the end of my rope, I just sit and read and rememeber "They aren't doing this to drive me crazy!" :LOL

H

[mamabutterfly]

I feel like most that most of these things were very easy to do when I was pg, lol. :LOL Now that she's here some are trickier.

Natural birth: easy decision for us

Breastfeeding: easy decision (hard to get going, but decision was very clear)

Sleeping: sharing sleep was an easy choice for us... harder was the decision that b/c of dh's work sched & sleep needs he would sleep in another room. That's one I don't want to defend to family, etc, so I don't mention it.

Diapering: Easy decision, made me nervous though. Like Piglet said - afraid I was too lazy. Started w/diaper service, eased into my own stash thanks to MDC.

Vax: Yuck - agonizing decision.[I wish there were no diseases, no vaccines, kwim?]. Mostly decided to delay as a way of not deciding, and i've grown comfortable now with skipping most or all.

Health in general: COnstantly second guessing myself, whether I am making good choices for her nutrition, immune health,

Food: Easy to decide all organic health food (harder to afford, lol!) - now that she's two, also in pt daycare, its harder to keep her from junk.

TV: Sigh - I *wish* we struggled more over this. We definately have not unplugged. Educational only, but still.

School: DD's only two. It'll depend where we live when she's of age & if we're in community - in which case w/enough support & companionship i'd love to homeschool.

mb