I have recently been doing some research on social anxiety disorder/social phobia, and I have come to the conclusion that I have had SAD since I was a teenager. I think it started when I was in my sophmore year of high school. Up until that point, I was always introverted and somewhat of a loner but at that point, I also started to experience the symtoms of SAD. I basically feared speaking up in class. I dreaded being made the center of attention. I've never liked being the center of attention, but I really started to dread it in high school. I even experienced selective mutism in several of my classes because of the anxiety and fear of being judged by the other students in those classes. I took several Advanced Placement classes, and there was a lot of group work and presentations to be done in front of the class. I just never felt comfortable with any of it.
In my teens, I also experienced derealization/depersonalization episodes when my anxiety got really bad. I would basically walk around feeling very detached from my environment, almost like I was in a dream. Sometimes these derealization episodes would last for a couple of hours. After the episodes had passed, I would then try to recall exactly what I had done during those episodes, because when I was having one of those episodes, the activities that I was doing didn't seem like real experiences. I haven't experienced one of these episodes since my early twenties.
There were also times when I was in college, when I would avoid going outside or going down a certain path to get back to my residence hall, if I saw that there were people hanging around outside. I remember one time, when there were maintenance workers doing work outside one of the buildings, and I felt very uncomfortable having to walk past them to get back to my residence hall. This was when my anxiety was really acting up.
Now, in my late twenties, I am still experiencing some of these symptoms. Today, I went to the zoo with my boyfriend and our daughter. I don't like going to places like this because there are usually a lot of people coming and going. At one point, I had to use the restroom, but there were so many people around outside, and I feared being stared at as I made my way to the restroom. Of course, no one was staring at me, but it was a fear that I had. After we left the zoo, we went to a restaurant, and once again, there were quite a few people in there, and I had to will myself to walk past them to get to our table. I've been able to get through these experiences but I always feel uncomfortable. I couldn't even really enjoy my food at the restaurant because I didn't feel comfortable eating in front of other people.
Does anyone else here have SAD, and has anyone experienced these derealization/depersonalization episodes when the anxiety gets really bad?
In my teens, I also experienced derealization/depersonalization episodes when my anxiety got really bad. I would basically walk around feeling very detached from my environment, almost like I was in a dream. Sometimes these derealization episodes would last for a couple of hours. After the episodes had passed, I would then try to recall exactly what I had done during those episodes, because when I was having one of those episodes, the activities that I was doing didn't seem like real experiences. I haven't experienced one of these episodes since my early twenties.
There were also times when I was in college, when I would avoid going outside or going down a certain path to get back to my residence hall, if I saw that there were people hanging around outside. I remember one time, when there were maintenance workers doing work outside one of the buildings, and I felt very uncomfortable having to walk past them to get back to my residence hall. This was when my anxiety was really acting up.
Now, in my late twenties, I am still experiencing some of these symptoms. Today, I went to the zoo with my boyfriend and our daughter. I don't like going to places like this because there are usually a lot of people coming and going. At one point, I had to use the restroom, but there were so many people around outside, and I feared being stared at as I made my way to the restroom. Of course, no one was staring at me, but it was a fear that I had. After we left the zoo, we went to a restaurant, and once again, there were quite a few people in there, and I had to will myself to walk past them to get to our table. I've been able to get through these experiences but I always feel uncomfortable. I couldn't even really enjoy my food at the restaurant because I didn't feel comfortable eating in front of other people.
Does anyone else here have SAD, and has anyone experienced these derealization/depersonalization episodes when the anxiety gets really bad?
to all of you. It's not easy.
