-I think that when she have her first boy friend her grades will lower, and I understand why and think is normal, but this is her first school year she got into honors in school, this have change her actitud toward school, she is more happy and proud, I wish at least another year like this so she can really see the difference between the feelings of just an "almost fail" to "here is your medal of honor"
14 yr old daughter lied, how should i deal with it? - Page 3
and, i'm another one who still isn't convinced she lied simply because of a photo of her dancing with a boy where they weren't on an "official" dance floor.
I have a 16 yr old daughter. She has had boyfriends, she has had times with no boyfriend. Her grades have never been affected either way. I really don't understand why you would assume that her grades would lower if she has a boyfriend, and that it would be normal for that to happen. I would think the opposite, that it would be very abnormal.
I know many girls, incluiding myslef that lower our grades when we had our first boyfriend (no so much the 2nd or 3rd) because everything is new, and we are all , daydreaming, and if the boyfriend is at your school (maybe not your classroom, like it was mine) you spend a lot of time going to the bathroom, writing notes (well, this was before Twitter, and text, lol) so I am sorry if I put out there my own experience, I totally don't think I was abnormal.
My older brother warned me about grades going down when I got a first boyfriend. My mom waxed poetic about the whole scenario. I think it's understandable if a mother is perhaps a little concerned about her child's grades when they get a first beau.
I think group dating would have been a wonderful compromise. My parents ended up letting me date early on, but by that time I was already way ahead of the dating game so I didn't even bother.
Now don't freak out because I also had issues growing up and was sexually abused as a kid so I believe that was the main culprit of me being promiscuous so young... not the rule set by my parents. However, I think it escalated the problem.
What I would have wished for was more open communication regarding dating. Feeling like I could tell my mom... when I had my first kiss or celebrate meeting a new boy who I thought was cute or having help getting dressed for a date... Maybe a group date or a supervised date (movies with mom in the very back row.. pretending we don't know each other. lol) until I was 16 and could handle dating on my own.
I think compromise is wise in the world of teen dating. I think its important for teens to learn about safe and appropriate dating. As someone who totally missed out on the world of dating I really wish it wasn't a taboo when I was growing up. I wish my parents had focused on teaching me how to have a respectful date and what a date should be like. Instead it just became… “No you can’t” and so I did it anyway and ended up completely letting guys disrespect me and “dating” became “sex”.
I do agree that dating should be supervised until teens can show that they are responsible enough to handle dating so maybe this is something you can look into. Anyways that’s just my 2 cents. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I'm going to offer a different perspective but maybe sobering here. I went to Catholic school almost my whole schooling career. I knew girls who were saddled with the "no dating" restriction. At dances and such events, they'd hook up with whatever boy was willing to hook up with them (at the event itself) and go off and fool around where they could get away with it. To their minds, they were not violating their "no dating" restriction because they weren't dating the boys, weren't even really concerned with who the boy was.
The teenaged mind is a strange place, and the justifications it can come up with even stranger.
Hmmm... even if her grades slip if she has a boyfriend, it would be better for that to happen sooner rather than later. When she's 16 and 17, her grades will be on her transcript for college, it makes sense for her to have learned how to balance her time between a boy and school before then, wouldn't it?